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TOPIC: Paying Money to Ex Partner

Paying Money to Ex Partner 2 years 2 months ago #16637

  • CJ19
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Can anyone help me please. I have been paying my ex partner child maintenance each month, which she has always seemed to be more than happy with. I have now been contacted by the CSA telling me that although I have been paying her each month I now need to pay them. She has clearly decided that I am not paying enough to her although the amount was agreed. CSA now tell me that I now need to pay a further £1200 . I spoke to CSA and asked them to send by post a detailed breakdown as to how they came to this amount and was told categorically that they would not send any information to me by post. I asked them how I was supposed to pay any amount to them if they would send me no information by post ie: details of who or where payments were to be sent to and was told they were not prepared to send this information to me. And that they wanted a payment of £1200 made to them now over the phone. This I clearly cannot do as I do not have this sort of money. They then told me they would go direct to my employer and have the money deducted from my wages, which would mean they would take nearly all my months pay. I am in another relationship now and have been for a number of years and have 2 children. Clearly if the CSA take this money my children in my new relationship will suffer.

My ex partner is also re-married and both her and her husband are both in full-time employment earning very good money but she is now persisting in chasing me for more to fund her new way of life, exotic holidays etc.

I would be grateful of any help and advice anyone can give me...thank you in anticipation
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Re: Paying Money to Ex Partner 2 years 2 months ago #16649

  • springchicken
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From what I understand the payments the CSA work out are based on your income. Have you asked them over what period of time you built up the £1,200 owing & have they asked about your income? I would have thought they's take the £1,200 out gradually, if that is what is owing? Do you know if this is possible?
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Re: Paying Money to Ex Partner 2 years 2 months ago #16656

  • actd
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whenever I have asked the CSA to re-assess my ex (I have custody), they have always provided me with a letter saying what the calculated amount is and why. I would ring the CSA and escalate the case, and I would also speak to your MP.

I will also ask the CMO to comment on whether you are able to pay any arrears and to explain the attachment of earnings procedures.
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I am not qualified in family law, or other area of family matters. I am simply a dad who has been through the mill. Any opinions I give are my own, and any advice should be checked before acting on it.
Last Edit: 2 years 2 months ago by actd.
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Re: Paying Money to Ex Partner 2 years 2 months ago #16663

  • CJ19
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Thanks for the replies.
I have had a private arrangement with my ex for the last 4 years it is only in the last 2 months that she contacted the CSA as she just wanted an assessment....as she put it to see whether I was paying her enough. She told me that she did not want them to be involved collecting any monies from me nor she said did she want any arrears paid to her if there were any. She just wanted me to increase my payments to her from now if they said that I was not paying enough.

They have said that there is a difference and that I should be paying an extra £10 per week and she is still adamant that she does not want this back dated she just wants this extra amount to be paid from now.

I think since we split up about 4 years ago she may well have been claiming some benefits and someone has told me that because of this CSA will chace me for the £1200, which I assume would be because I had been paying £10 a week less than I should have been paying and she was getting extra benefits. Would this be the case do you think?

Thanks for any help
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Re: Paying Money to Ex Partner 2 years 2 months ago #16666

Hi, I'm Sarah, a consultant at Child Maintenance Options.

It's really good to hear that you and your ex-partner have been able to sort out child maintenance between yourselves for the last 4 years. I would urge you to try and work things out amicably with your ex-partner, as family-based arrangements (without the involvement of the CSA or the courts) are usually the best option for everyone involved.

If you wanted to get an idea of what your payments would be through the CSA, Child Maintenance Options have a calculator that you can use to do this. The calculator is available online here:


Or, if you give Child Maintenance Options a call on 0800 988 0988 they will work out an estimated amount - and give you a breakdown of how the amount has been calculated. They will even give you two copies of this breakdown if you want so that you can give one to your ex-partner.

You could then change your "family-based arrangement" - the private agreement you have with your ex-partner - based on this new amount.

If you did end up going through the CSA, make sure they have the right information about your income and circumstances, including details of your two other children.

Bear in mind that:
  • the CSA would not be able to back-date any payments. You are only responsible for making payments calculated from the date that you were made aware of an application to the CSA.
  • Your ex-partner's new partner and income are not taken into consideration when the CSA work out child maintenance.
  • If you're worried about talking to your ex-partner about money, you can find tips and support at www.cmoptions.org.

I hope this information helps.

This information which Child Maintenance Options has provided is not a substitute for independent professional advice and users should obtain professional advice relevant to their particular circumstances.

Please note: the Child Maintenance Options team cannot answer any questions relating to a specific CSA case
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