Your BasketIt’s never too early to start thinking ahead to the big day. There are decisions to be made and the sooner you can get your head around what you and your partner want to happen at the birth, the more settled and confident you’ll both be.
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 Your birth plan is the most important way that you can let a busy maternity unit know how your partner wants to give birth when you arrive. Make sure you know what it says. |
Having a baby is not as straightforward as in your parents’ day. You will be faced with several options about how and where the birth takes place, and about how your partner handles it. These preferences can be reflected in your birth plan.
Choice one: Hospital or home?
Until the 20th Century, most babies were born at home. Nowadays, less than 3 per cent of British women opt for home births, although studies show they are as safe as hospital births for low-risk pregnancies. But you’ll need to check with your GP whether the pregnancy is low-risk enough – and some local authorities discourage them.
- Advantages of a home birth include a familiar environment and continuity of care through a midwife.
- A hospital delivery means that everything is to hand should there be any complications.
- Some hospitals also provide birthing centres, comfortable home-from-home environments with all the medical facilities close by.
- What can a dad expect from a good maternity service?
Choice two: Delivery room or waiting room?
Gone are the days of expectant fathers pacing the waiting room, listening for baby’s first cry. Today, about 93 per cent of British fathers who live with their partners attend the births of their children.
Most dads describe being at the birth as the most profound experience of their lives, and most women report that the presence of their partner at the birth was a huge help. There are good reasons to be in the delivery room:
- Your partner may well want you there
- You can make the birth easier for her (if you focus on her and her needs)
- You can represent her wishes to medical staff if she becomes unable to do so.
- You can witness the birth of your child - an incredible moment in your life
- You can share the experience with your partner - something that can bring you both together
But not everyone is happy to do so:
- Some men worry that they will fall apart and be unable to cope with seeing their partner in labour.
- Others worry that witnessing a vaginal delivery will diminish their sexual attraction for their partners.
- There may also be cultural reasons why you are unable to be present at the birth.
- And some women just don’t want their partners there!
If you are reluctant or unable to attend the birth, your partner might choose an alternative birth partner: a friend, relative or doula (a woman hired to help women through the birth). For a fuller discussion, visit this article:
Choice three: Vaginal birth or Caesarean?
Your obstetrician may advise that labour is a danger to mother and baby, and may propose a Caesarean section (where the uterus is opened through surgery). About 22 per cent of British deliveries are by Caesarean. However, the World Health Organisation is pushing for a reduction in this rate because of the trauma and risk of complications.
Choice four: Planned induction?
Most women go into labour naturally within two weeks either side of their due date. However, labour may be induced if the obstetrician feels it is better for the health of the mother or baby.
In addition, many doctors schedule a delivery date, either for their own convenience (mostly in private hospitals), because of the safety of the other mums and babies in the Unit at a given time, or for the convenience of the mother (although the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists opposes these elective inductions).
Choice five: Lying, squatting, swimming?
Not so long ago almost all births involved the woman lying on her back. This is easier for the midwife or obstetrician, but not ideal for pushing because it doesn’t make use of gravity.
Today, hospitals are more flexible, allowing women to choose the most comfortable position (including squatting, sitting, kneeling, or on all fours).
Another option, available for home births and at many hospitals is the water birth (which many women find relaxing, particularly when labour is advanced).
Choice six: Pain relief?
This is one area where your birth plan may be binned. It is not uncommon for a woman to opt for a natural birth, only to change her mind and plead for an epidural when the first prolonged contraction starts.
Midway options include laughing gas and pethidine injections.
Remember: don’t be disappointed if things don’t go as planned – just make the most of whatever works on the day.
The extras
There are lots of little details that your partner might want to include in the birth plan. For example:
- What she wants as soon as the birth happens - does she want the baby put on her straight away, or cleaned, swaddled and handed to her, for example.
- Some couples want the dad to cut the umbilical cord.
Author
Gavin Evans is a father of two daughters - aged 17 and 13 - and lives in North London. 15 years ago he changed gear from being a full-time reporter to full-time parent and part-time journalist. His writing on issues affecting fathers has been published in a wide range of publications including The Guardian, The Independent, Men's Health, Cosmopolitan, The Times and The New Statesman. He has written five books on sport, a chapter on men in Your Pregnancy Bible and is completing his first screenplay. Gavin also regularly posts blogs at www.gavinevans.net.
Your tips
What did you put into your birth plan? Was it of use or did it get chucked out of the window after the first serious contraction? Share your tips and ideas with other dads using the comments system below.
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