Life skills to teach your kids: part 2

Part two of our series looking at some of the key skills you can teach your kids. This one covers handling their emotions, keeping safe on the roads, how to handle friendships, woodwork and DIY, and basic hygiene.

From the moment they’re born, children are like sponges, soaking up knowledge in every waking moment. As they grow up they continue to learn from friends and family, books, television and at school.

But their most important teachers are you and their mum. You are the most significant people in their life with the power to teach, encourage and support them right from the start.

To help you make the most of this privileged position, here are five skills you can teach your son or daughter, each of which will make a fundamental difference to their life.

Handling emotions

Powerful emotions like anger, jealousy or fear can feel out of control and overwhelming for young children. Try never to tell your kids they’re naughty or bad for feeling angry or jealous - say of their sister’s new toy.

Let them know it’s fine to be scared of some things - "If they are really scared of something, it’s important for you to say: 'I can see you’re scared, but I’ll show you there’s nothing to be frightened of'" says Suzie Hayman from Parentline Plus.

"If your toddler is terrified of dogs, don’t whisk them away – that confirms they should be scared. Instead, find a friendly dog and gently introduce them to it."

• Emotions: teaching our child to recognise theirs

Road Safety

One child is hurt on UK roads every 16 minutes. To make sure your son or daughter isn’t one of them, start teaching them when they’re a toddler.

• Always cross the road at the safest place – like a subway, footbridge or zebra crossing – and explain why you are crossing there.
• Teach your child the Green Cross Code – Stop, look and listen!
• Practice on quiet roads near your home, first crossing together, then letting your child lead you across, and finally letting them cross while you wait behind, watching carefully.
• Teach older kids too. Children aged 12 to 16 are most at risk of being killed or seriously injured by traffic accidents - make sure they take road safety seriously and keep talking to them about the dangers.
• Ensure that whenever your child is out on the road they’re constantly aware of what is happening around them and aren’t distracted by iPods, mobile phones or friends.

Woodworking

Teaching young children woodworking lays the foundations for learning carpentry and DIY when they’re older – it also helps them with their hand-eye coordination, dexterity and problem-solving. Buy them a toddler-sized workbench and tools that are safe for tiny hands.

• Start slow, by letting them help sand and stain a plank of wood.
• Then let them measure the wood and mark edges to saw while you hold the ruler.
• Finally, do a simple project together, like building a small bookcase.
• Remember that they will want to use your tools, so keep all sharp and dangerous tools out of reach.

Making good friends

Friendships are a great source of strength for children and help them develop the social skills and self-confidence they’ll need for later life. Some children find making friends easier than others, but if your son or daughter needs a little encouragement, there’s plenty you can do to help.

• Teach them social skills and sociable behaviour – for example, explain how to understand verbal and non-verbal clues like someone smiling at them. They may be misinterpreting these clues and missing the opportunity to make friends.
• Teach basic social rules, like not to snatch things or hit others, and how to share and co-operate.
• Make your child’s friends welcome in your home – don’t judge their choices too harshly or make them play with children you choose.
• Find local activities where your child can make friends outside of school, like Cubs or Brownies, a drama group, gymnastics, football or swimming lessons.

Hygiene

This may seem trivial, but teaching kids to stay clean and smell good will have a huge impact on their friendships, education, career and romantic prospects in later life – as well as avoiding infection when they’re young. Start by making bath time a fun, integral part of family life, by singing songs and playing with bath toys.

• Allow your kids to play outside, but explain why you need to clean soiled bodies and clothes afterwards.
• Encourage them to maintain their own hygiene and let them help with the laundry and housework.
• When they’re older, let them choose their own deodorants, shampoo and shower gel – this will encourage regular bathing.

Author

Dan Roberts is a feature-writer and columnist with over ten years’ experience of working for The Guardian, The Observer, The Independent, Daily Express and Mail on Sunday, as well as numerous national magazines. His areas of expertise include health, wellbeing, relationships, psychology and parenting. Dan also writes two monthly columns, including Diary of a Single Dad, a humorous but affectionate account of raising his ten-year-old son, Ben. The best of Dan’s work can be found on his website at www.dan-roberts.net

Your experiences

How do you go about teaching these key life skills to your kids? What's worked, what hasn't, and what have we left out? Use our comments system below to share your thoughts and experiences.