The whole kit and caboodle

Take an endless offering of gadgets, add the confusion of the sleep-deprived, and - hey presto! - you've joined the ranks of new parents whose houses are crammed with stuff they just don't need. William Drew, father-of-three and ex-editor of Arena, guides you through the minefield of infant accessories, pointing out what’s hot and what, if we're honest, is just plain useless.

Fancy a Coco Bloom Baby Lounger (a baby bouncer to you and me) at £120? And a three-in-one transport system for a mere £489? How about a hi-tech baby video gadget thing for 270-odd quid? Not to mention the 50k extension to the house you’re having built to keep all this new ‘baby kit’ in…

Add to these items such as thermometers, camcorders, baby baths, nightlights, Moses baskets, sleeping bags, cutesy changing bags, car seats, souped-up steriliser, soothing CDs, gyms, cups, mats, stackers, storage, video baby monitors… and you’re facing a mountain of debt before the little ray of intermittent sunshine even pops out to say "waaaaaaaaaaghhhhh!"

• Buggies: what to go for

So, what do you really need?

The truth is you need little of the above – especially in your baby’s first few months.

Of course you’ll be tempted to buy all manner of gadgets – there’s an entire industry at work here with the sole purpose of preying on your inexperience and insecurities in order to lighten your wallet. But how do you tell what’s necessary? And what’s entirely unnecessary but you’re bloody well buying it anyway?

• Rule one: don’t head off to spend everything on your first-born without consultation with first-born’s mother, who will no doubt consult first-born’s mother’s mother.
• Investing without consulting will result in you getting totally the wrong thing, whether it is totally the wrong thing or not (that’s irrelevant, as you’ll learn in the ensuing months of joyous rookie co-parenting).
• Rule two: get independent advice on the major, essential purchases – which include a cot of some sort, pram and car seat. On the high street, I’d recommend John Lewis over Mothercare every time, simply due to its emphasis on product knowledge and service levels.
• Travelling with babies: what you'll need

The Buggy

I can’t tell you which pram / buggy to get, but I can tell you this: off-road three wheelers are bought by first-time parents, and rarely encounter more taxing terrain than the bumpy bit on the pavement on the way to the park / off-licence.

• A super duper £500 travel system can be brilliant, but you may also need something smaller for navigating Tesco Metro’s aisles.
• Similarly, the advantages of having a car seat that clips onto the top of a pram are often somewhat over-played.
• When it comes to the sleeping bit, the cot’s important, sure, but a blackout blind is your best value purchase: that, and a travel cot, if you plan on maintaining any semblance of a social life.
• Buggies: what to go for

Slings'n'stuff

Other things on the essential list:

• A baby-sling. The littl'uns love them, and you get to experience a level of physical mobility not possible when pushing a hi-tech, multi-geared, air-conditioned pram, as well the warm glow of getting all snuggly with your new best friend. There are some lovely-but-expensive luxury versions, but Babybjörn’s models remain simple and superb.
• Of course you’ll need a changing mat, and a mobile nappy operation. Try Aussie company OiOi’s changing bag range as, unlike most, they’re not splattered with baby motifs. Remember who’s carrying this bag around – you, not little so-and-so. Oh, and don’t bother with a plastic baby bath if you’ve got your own proper tub. You can be trusted to keep the baby’s head above water, just as you can be trusted to test the temperature without recourse to a thermometer.
• Baby's home: what next?

Monitors, surveillance systems and cameras

• A baby monitor is designed to cut your worrying levels, but if it does too much – for example, triggers an alarm if the room is not at the optimum temperature, waking the baby in the process, or monitors heart rate and breathing in overbearing detail – it simply increases your stress levels. Ditto any kind of surveillance operation.
• And, while we’re on technology, I’d opt for a tiny digital camera over the latest camcorder – babies really don’t do much that’s worth recording in those early days, plus you’ll never have time / energy to film, edit or watch.

Rugs, rockers and rock n roll

• Add a machine-washable sheepskin rug/blanket for all-purpose usage, a simple rocker seat for daytime gurgling, and perhaps a nifty in-car bottle warmer (as well as the obligatory bottle steriliser) and you’re almost ready for action.
• You’ll also need a reliable, workaholic washing machine installed tout de suite.
• You’ll (hopefully) get inundated with clothes and accessories – including a plethora of hats, bibs and booties you wont need – so don’t go overboard too early on the fashion side.
• But if you’re after a knowingly sloganed T-shirt or babygrow, check Toby Pimlico and Punk Rock Baby. The latter even offers CDs of your favourite era / genre hits sung in classic lullaby style.

The really important stuff... for her

Finally, your most rewarding purchases should be for your frazzled partner.

• Schedule a weekend away for the three of you to break the sometimes grinding, early-weeks routine.
• Give her a full morning / afternoon / evening off (you’ll cope) so she can indulge in something she used to love before Everything Changed Forever.
• And treat her to Guerlain’s Midnight Secret cream – it has truly miraculous effects on tired skin. Then buy yourself a sack of patience and tolerance, because despite all the advice available, that’s what you’ll need more than any product on the market…
• Treats for your pregnant lady

Author

William Drew is the former editor of Arena magazine, and father of three.

Your tips?

What do you think of Will's suggestions? What was the most useful thing you bought? What was the most useless? Use the comments system below to discuss.