Providing constant care for a new baby will inevitably affect parents’ lives and independence. It may also impact on individuals’ sense of identity – despite how positively parenthood is viewed and anticipated, there will always be some sense of loss when old routines are lost and new routines are not yet established
Talk to each other
Maintaining open and positive communication as a couple can help partners to understand where each other are coming from. This appears to be a source of support for many new parents, and can help them maintain focus and avoid conflict.
Mutual understanding and support between the partners is seen as an important part of good communication within the couple. This is essential for the well-being of the new parents; strain on the relationship may lead to poor communication, locked positions, and conflicts[8]. Communicating feelings about the new roles and responsibilities can help partners understand what each other are going through, and may act as a source of strength for new couples to draw on as they adjust to their new roles.
Feel the need to talk this through further?
You could start by talking to us on our online forum where you will find over 29,000 dads engaging, encouraging and talking through issues and concerns. You’ll probably come across someone who has been in your shoes – but a little further on in the journey to be able to offer you some support.
Further reading:
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY
EFFECTS OF A NEW BABY ON A RELATIONSHIP
NEW PARENTS: SLEEP DEPRIVATION
References
[1] Houlston, C., Coleman, L., Milford, L., Platts, N., and Mansfield, P. (2013) Sleep, sex and sacrifice: The transition to parenthood, a testing time for relationships? OnePlusOne: London.
[2] Houlston, C., Coleman, L. and Mitcheson, J. (2013) Changes for the couple relationship during the transition to parenthood: Risk and protective factors. International Journal of Birth and Parent Education, 1, 18-22.
[3] Katz-Wise, S. L., Priess, H. A., & Hyde, J. S. (2010). Gender-role attitudes and behavior across the transition to parenthood. Developmental psychology, 46(1), 18.
[4] Kluwer, E. S., Heesink, J. A., & Vliert, E. (2002). The division of labor across the transition to parenthood: A justice perspective. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64(4), 930-943.
[5] Houlston, C., Coleman, L. and Mitcheson, J. (2013) Changes for the couple relationship during the transition to parenthood: Risk and protective factors. International Journal of Birth and Parent Education, 1, 18-22.
[6] Cowan, C. P., & Cowan, P. A. (1999). When partners become parents: The big life change for couples. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
[7] Cowan, C. P., & Cowan, P. A. (1999). When partners become parents: The big life change for couples. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
[8] Ahlborg, T., & Strandmark, M. (2001). The baby was the focus of attention–first‐time parents’ experiences of their intimate relationship. Scandinavian Journal of Caring Sciences, 15(4), 318-325.
