Dad dot info form. Ask questions, get answers | Lifestyle | Motoring | Monstrous motors: killer cars and weird wheels that will scare you silly

Monstrous motors: killer cars and weird wheels that will scare you silly

As Halloween approaches, you may have forgotten to do anything about a scary costume. Never fear though, you simply need to buy one of these scary cars and you’ll be able to frighten children without stepping out of your motor

Kick back, relax, munch on a few bags of sweets and chocolates that were meant for the kids but, you know, it’s nearly mid-afternoon, and check out the most frightening cars on the plant.

The Speed Demon: TVR Cebera Speed 12

Intended to be the worlds fastest car at the time of its conception in 1997, and the basis for a Le Mans racer, but proved simply too powerful. With an estimated 1,000bhp on tap, only one car ever finally made it on to the road, where it was no doubt crashed in a fireball just minutes later.

Will o’ the wisp: Caparo T1

Despite being around for a number of years, I’ve never seen one of these on the road. Even in press car form they never looked finished, with one trying to set fire to Jason Plato. Even as a track day car it would try to kill you, as it could only safely share tarmac with Le Mans cars. Assuming it didn’t break down.

Frankenstein’s Monster: Fiat Multipla

Fifteen years after its introduction, the Fiat Multipla MPV still makes me look away, in much the same way that an angry-faced bloody and disemboweled zombie might do. The proportions are just plain wrong, with a low slung front end and bulbous glass house resembling something of an upside-down Weeble. Traditional headlights were augmented by a pair of spiders eye like windscreen mounted light units that would make any false widow spider proud. It seated six people, but to ensure maximum awkwardness Fiat made sure that three of you shared the front seats. Anybody not used to driving with a dashboard mounted gear lever might cause some serious alarm for the centre passenger.

Dracula’s Bite: MG6

For a sensibly priced family car, there’s much to like about the MG6. It’s a fine handling car, so you can enjoy the country roads, and the diesel engine is surprisingly powerful. The only problem is the interior, seemingly designed in 1984 with the use of nothing but straight lines and cheap plastics. It’s the handbrake that really stands out though, a ridiculous aeroplane throttle-lever style affair that hides in a hole in the centre of the car. That sounds fine until you try to use it, at which point it squeezes part of your finger between the handle and the car, refusing to give it back until it draws blood. Which it did to me repeatedly.

The Forbidden Forest: Daewoo Nubira

Forget the mid-90s Korean build quality, the wallowy suspension that was frighteningly vague, or the most useless brakes I’ve ever experienced in a car. What sets the Nubira apart is the fact that under the seat where you might find a lever to adjust the seat lay a shard of metal designed to slash open a hand. Perhaps that was just the one I had, but it was enough to make me vow never to set foot in one again.

The Grim Reaper: Ssangyong Rodius

Apparently, the Rodius was designed to capture the essence of a luxury yacht. It’s fair to say that the end result is somewhat wide of the mark. Primarily intended to offer a huge amount of space for as little money as possible, strapping wheels on to a bus shelter may have produced something marginally better looking. Truly frightening.

Quasimodo: Lexus LF-NX Concept

The new Lexus NX might have toned things down a little, but when the company showed the LF-NX Concept off to the crowds at Geneva this year, grown men were seen turning away. There are so many razor sharp edges that I can only imagine how many paper cuts happened in the design offices.

The only thing that could make it scarier would be to get leaping in front of it in some kind of crane pose. Oh, wait…

The Prowling Werewolf: Lamborghini Aventador

Impossibly low and improbably wide, the Aventador looks like an unruly and aggressive spaceship when it appears in your rear view mirror. Don’t take too long to look though, as the 690 bhp V12 will have it howling by behind a wall of noise before you’ve had chance to blink. New trousers required.

Related entries

What Family Car should I buy?

What Family Car should I buy?

Help me people with multiple children... what family car can you recommend I buy?   I live on a terraced road. Parking is war. I am dreading the idea of upgrading to  the inevitable seven-seater.  But with the kids...

Driving lessons for teenagers – How to book

Driving lessons for teenagers – How to book

It doesn't feel like a moment since I was teaching them to ride a bike and now I'm meant to trust my kid behind the wheel of a car! But where to start - should I just jump in the car with them? What options are there for driving lessons for teenagers? Young Driver...

Driving Home for Christmas – checklist

Driving Home for Christmas – checklist

Spending Christmas Eve on the hard shoulder somewhere between Colchester and Chelmsford with my daughters screaming taught me an essential parenting lesson! This year my car is heading back to the garage for a service before I drive home for Christmas.   Recent...

Latest entries

How to have a ‘good divorce’

How to have a ‘good divorce’

This week marks Good Divorce Week and Dad Info is gathering tips and information from those in the know about how to have an amicable, less painful divorce experience. In England & Wales, 42% of marriages end in divorce; that means there’s only a 1 in 2 chance...

How divorcing couples can save thousands this Christmas

How divorcing couples can save thousands this Christmas

Every day at we talk with parents who are struggling through costly court hearings. We strongly believe that mediation is a route that can take the conflict out of separation. Hands up who would like £500 towards mediation sessions? Too Late for Court...

5 simple ways to boost your health today

5 simple ways to boost your health today

Living through the last couple of years has been rough on not only our bodies but also our brains. It was also recently reported that life expectancy in some parts of England has fallen- even before Covid. However, there is good news. Up to 80% of chronic disease is...

Pin It on Pinterest