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The Twelve Toddler Days of Christmas

As we are now well into December, I am finally happy to start thinking about Christmas. As a father I know Christmas can be the happiest of times. However, we all know that this is not the whole story. Christmas also bring with it own particular brand of stresses and strains. So, it is in this spirit that I have decided to re-write the classic Christmas Carol, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” based on a realistic, hard-hitting perspective of a family Christmas as the father of two toddlers. Please sing along with me…

On the first day of Christmas my toddlers gave to me

A big hole in my bank balance.

 

On the second day of Christmas my toddlers gave to me

Two crabby kids,

And a big hole in my bank balance.

 

On the third day of Christmas my toddlers gave to me

Three drunken in-laws,

Two crabby kids,

And a big hole in my bank balance.

 

And so on until we get to…

On the twelfth day of Christmas my toddlers gave to me

Twelve priceless smiles,

Eleven lovely cuddles,

Ten sloppy kisses,

Nine slammed doors,

Eight petty squabbles,

Seven broken glasses,

Six stress headaches,

Five dirty nappies,,

Four temper tantrums,

Three drunken in-laws,

Two crabby kids,

And a big hole in my bank balance.

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