Mediation services for fathers in divorce

Using the family courts to reach agreement after divorce or separation can make a difficult situation even worse. But going to court is not inevitable. So what are the alternatives? takes a look at what family mediation can offer



Why should I consider mediation?

Research shows that children whose parents reach agreement through mediation are likely to find separation less distressing than when a dispute ends up in court. Parents who use alternative dispute resolution also report a greater degree of satisfaction. So how does it work?

Mediation or other types of dispute resolution focus on the areas that you and your ex partner are finding it difficult to reach agreement on. Trained mediators then work with you both to find a solution that works for you both. Issues that are commonly taken to mediation include:

  • child arrangements
  • finance

If you reach agreement, they will provide you with a Memorandum of Understanding setting out the terms of the agreement.  


What can mediation offer?

Mediation is a chance to talk openly and honestly about the things that you need to make decisions about after separation. You will be working with trained mediators who are there to offer non-judgmental advice about ways to reach agreement around your children and other important issues.

Using alternative dispute resolution services such as mediation can offer you a feeling of ownership over the decisions you both take. It can also reduce the amount of time involved in reaching a decision and help you avoid the big legal fees involved if you have to go to court. This is clearly a benefit not only to you but to your children.

Mediation is also a great way to improve communication between yourself and your ex partner. Talking in a safe environment with a trained mediator means that you can both talk about the things that concern you. A good mediator is also able to help you express your thoughts clearly and find ways of reaching agreement. 

Communicating with your child's mother  

Does mediation always work?

Mediation works well when both parties are able to come to the table with a willingness to find the best way forward together. The average number of sessions to resolve all issues is between three and five. This will depend on individual circumstances and the complexity of the issues that need resolving.

Choosing to use mediation does not prevent you from using the courts at a later date. You may also wish to seek legal advice as well as using mediation services, and should check the documents and proposals with your own solicitor. Many parents who have reached agreement through mediation will make return visits when their circumstances change. 

Fathers and children: the law

How much does it cost?   

Mediators may or may not be legally qualified.  If they are legal professionals they will usually charge on an hourly basis, so the cost will be similar to using a solicitor. If they are not legally qualified the service is usually cheaper.

Mediators do not:

  • provide legal advice
  • offer counselling
  • impose decisions on you

Reaching agreement outside of the courts offers some real benefits to both you and your children. It is usually quicker, cheaper, more flexible and less hostile. 

The family courts: Child Arrangement Orders

About the author

Clare Kirby qualified as a lawyer in 1983 and worked for several years in industry. She founded Kirby & Co in 1997. As a member of Resolution and an advanced member of the Law Society’s Family Law Panel she is experienced and respected in the field of family law. Trained as a collaborative lawyer, Clare offers clients a range of options - traditional, and collaborative law - to best meet the needs of the individual clients.

Hide comments (2)


  • Guest
    Tim tippetts Wednesday, 29 June 2016


    went to mediation to try and resolve our issues but my ex would not attend so the only way forward from here is court.

  • Guest
    Son less dad Thursday, 01 June 2017

    Sad world we live inn

    The decision will always favour the evil twisted mothers as men/fathers have no idea how to change a nappy or warm milk up

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Guest Thursday, 25 February 2021

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