My partner wants her mum to be at the birth as well as me, but I’m worried about being pushed out. What should I do?

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Deciding who will be the birth partner is a key part of the birth plan, and it is important that your partner has a person or people who she feels will enable her to feel as relaxed and cared for as possible. Birth plans what are they?

In all things, communication is important. Talk to your partner about birth partners and find out why she has a preference for having two birth partners. Is there something she specifically wants from her mum which you can’t provide? If so, then it might be a case of respecting her wishes but working out how you can make it work between yourselves.

However, if you can show her that you are taking the role of birth partner seriously and are specifically preparing for it, she may reassess this. Should I be at the birth?

Sometimes our partners worry that the birth will be difficult for us, and so ask other people to also be there to take some of the pressure off. If this is something which you think could be a potential reason for her choice, discuss this with your partner.

Ultimately, your partner does need to feel comfortable that she has the best support around her, as this will make her birth easier, so sometimes this does mean that we have to put her wishes before our own. We will always be our baby’s dad though, and that is a connection which is unique regardless of who else may be at the birth.

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