TOPIC: Advise please

Advise please 1 month 4 days ago #106846

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Hi all. Just after a bit of advice.

So I left my family home on the last Thursday of May and since then I haven't seen my children, who are 1 and 4. My wife has started divorce proceedings but hasn't submitted it yet. She has also got a solicitor and told him a bunch of lies about domestic abuse. I have recieved 2 letters from the solicitor (both marked draft) saying I'm to have no contact with the children and if I go to the house my wife will take out an occupation order and make me pay for it.

So I have stayed away, I'm scared of my wife and her lies. However my worry is my children and her not social distancing. She is always having the neighbours around and they have posted pics of them hugging my children. I also found out via a 3rd party, that my wife had to take my daughter to A&E but I'm not sure why. I submitted my C100 form this week but I'm wondering if I should apply for an occupation order to go back to the house and care for my children. I think my wife is heading for a breakdown.

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Advise please 1 month 4 days ago #106850

hi,

it's good that you filed for c100 early. sounds like they trying to use your kids for leverage in divorce proceedings.

it doesn't cost money to apply for an occupation order, so don't know what that solicitor is on about. you could apply for one and see what the court decides. your ex could apply for a non-molestation order against you, and give you more hardship. be careful with communication with your ex.
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Advise please 1 month 3 days ago #106890

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Thanks Bill.

Her solicitor charges 3.5k to take out court orders so that is what he would ask me to pay if i go around there.

I'm scared of all the lies my wife has been telling people. Its now 6 weeks since i have seen my children. She seems to think that because the solicitor advised her for me not to have contact, then that is the law.

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Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106892

Her solicitor is hers and works for her. You don't pay a penny for them. Never ever.

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Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106894

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Thanks for the reply. Is the following from her solicitor an empty threat then:

We further understand that you have vacated the former family home and that you have
left your keys to the property with our client. We would therefore ask that you confirm that
you will not return to the property except by prior agreement with our client.
In the event you are unwilling to do so, we have advised our client to apply to the court for
an occupation order that will prevent you from returning to the property. If it becomes
necessary for our client to enforce such an order then our client will seek that you pay the
legal costs.

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Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106895

Sorry to hear your issues. The best bit of advice right now is to ignore your ex. Do not contact her in any way, keep a copy of any messages she sends you. Only communicate with her solicitor. It sounds to me that she seems to be gearing up against a non-molestation order.
Try and approach her solicitor for some other forms of contact, phone calls, facetime calls or contact centres, as it is not fair to keep the kids away from you.

Just sit tight, it will get rocky at times, but just keep your cool, keep child focused and hopefully it will all be sorted soon enough for you.

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Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106898

avoid going to the property. wait for the c100 hearing date. if you apply for occupation order, judge will assess your situation, like can you afford to find your own accomodation. they would prefer the kids to stay with mum in current property.

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Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106900

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Thanks for all of the advice guys. It's amazing how much my wife has changed.

I'm currently staying at my parents house.

Im hoping in the court proceedings to use that fact that she hasn't been social distancing, didn't tell me she took our daughter to A&E and has comitted tax fraud in the past

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Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106903

None of those things are going to materially change the outcome I'm afraid.

Her solicitor can threaten whatever they want - it's a common scare tactic. Ignore the threats.

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Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106905

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I don't actually think it will go to court as she won't be able to afford the solicitors fees. I'm still paying for everything why she goes out and has fun.

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Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106907

its possible she may be getting legal aid? or is she on a good income?

also you can apply for occupation order for free and still take it to court.

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Last Edit: by Bill337.

Advise please 1 month 2 days ago #106909

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No her solicitor doesnt accept legal aid, they look expensive on their website.

I don't know what lies she told her solicitor. But on my letter he advised her not to let me have contact with the children at all at the moment. Bearing in mind the day I left I looked after them all day while she was at work, I'm the one that gets them up and puts them to bed. She left them with me while she went and saw her neighbours and breaking lockdown rules. She even let one of her friends, who is blind, have a drive of her car around an empty car park.

So in 6 weeks, I have gone from looking after the children everyday, to not even getting a picture sent or letting me talk to my daughter.

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Last Edit: by Yoda. Reason: confidentiality