TOPIC: Advise please

Advise please 5 months 3 weeks ago #108751

Clouduk wrote: Update.

So tonight I have recieved the following email from her.

Also is there a list of items you would like from this house which I can keep passing over to you mum on collection? If not then I can clear out as I wish to.

Can she do that. We are not divorced yet and the items are in the house which I part own.


i messaged my ex with something similar. she has loads of clothes, books/other items still lying around here, taking up too much space. asked if she wanted any of it back. she said no, so I will just get rid of them, give to charity etc.

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Advise please 5 months 3 weeks ago #108752

Clouduk wrote: Thank you for all the kind words and advice.

Regarding the child arrangements/parental plan. If my wife and i do agree, what is the best way to get it legally binding. I don't trust my wife and i believe she would try and mess me around so i would feel a lot better if it is signed off by the court


as you have a c100 hearing coming up, what you could try is before the hearing, engage with her solicitor. ask if their willing to draw up a consent order with children's arrangements. if you both agree, then at the first hearing both sides can tell judge what has been agreed, and court can rubber stamp the consent order with their approval. and then its legally binding. if you can't agree, then it goes to 2-3 court hearings usually.
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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108768

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Thanks for the reply.

I think she has got rid of her solicitor now from what aga g as told me. So if I get a, parental plan and consent order written up and signed by both of us, then I will still need to go to the first court date to show it. I though there I good just taje it down the court before the, date and get it approved that way.

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108769

hi,

what you could have done before doing c100 application, is get a solicitor to sort out consent order. then it just gets submitted to court for approval. but as you already made c100 application, you would have to attend hearing, unless both you and ex agree to cancel and not go. I don't recommend that. usually consent orders are done during the mediation stage. if both parties come to agreement, and they get a solicitor to write it up.

has your ex made her views clear so far? would she allow you to spend nights with kids every other weekend, have half of school holidays etc?

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108770

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So far the arrangement is pick up from school and nursary l every Tuesday and have them stay and take them jn on Wednesday.

Collect thrm every Friday afternoon have thrm stay and return them to my wifes at 6pm

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108774

so on the fridays, they don't stay overnight for whole weekend?

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108776

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No but its every week, which I think I prefer rather than every other weekend but for the whole weekend.

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108777

i used to see kids every saturday 10am-6pm. but it was not enough time to do things like big days out, theme parks/seaside. ex would not allow overnights so i went to court. I never liked the idea of every other weekend. have been doing it for nearly 2 years and got used to it. kids stay fri - mon EOW and 1 night on monday EOW.

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108779

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At first then did you not have a court order in place then. Its a shame that i can't trust my wife so we could just write a parenting plan, but after her actions last week, verging on blackmailing me, i don't think i can ever trust her again. All she has done since we have separated is lie. It was funny when the mediator caught her out, after my wife said she had an order from the court for me to pay all of the bills,

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108783

no, after she left i was seeing kids every saturday. it got annoying as my hours with kids kept getting reduced week by week. she wouldn't allow overnights either. then i applied to court. yes she also told rubbish lies about me. i tried to ignore. court/cafcass tend to ignore nonsense. they hear these things all the time.

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108835

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I can't believe how much my wife is lying now

So i have found out (my wife doesn't know that I know) that she has gone away today and left the children with her sister to look after. She lied to my mum yesterday and said she is working tomorrow and Saturday, so any problems call her sister and she will call my wife at work. My mum asked for her work number but she refused. I'm having my daughter tomorrow to stay over and my son on Saturday. I'm thinking tomorrow I just go in my house and tell my sister in law to leave. I have printed off the deeds for my house just in case I have to call the police if she refuses me access

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Advise please 5 months 2 weeks ago #108845

Hi cloud

As tempting as that may seem and I can understand why you'd want to id advise against it.

There is the risk of confrontation, arguments, police being called and thus your kids witnessing this which can be used against you in that you have caused them harm. If your ex isn't there then you can't even argue that your exs actions led to things, plus she is entitled to put in whatever arrangements she wants to whilst the kids are with her just as much as you are when the kids are with you.

Putting your kids in a position where they witness arguments etc is a huge no no in the courts.

Having the deeds to the property would make no difference the police would ascertain who ordinarily lives at the property, how long you haven't lived there etc and ask you to apply to live at the house via the courts.

You are on the verge of a parenting plan etc which is really positive, keep going with that would be my advice... The fact she lied to you is not important, after all you are no longer in a relationship and as long as she has put suitable child care in place your ex will say she's done nothing wrong.

Maybe the fact that you and your mother are asking for things like her work number that she feels she has to lie or that you would consider her going away on a break without the kids as unreasonable that she feels she cannot tell you what exactly is happening?

Focus on the positives...

Good luck..

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