TOPIC: Advise please

Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107092

Go for the mediation and leave the proceedings as is.

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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107093

  • Clouduk
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Update.

Just recieved a letter from her solicitor. Apprently I'm getting a 5 min video call with my daughter on Saturday. While I'm grateful that I will get to see her, I'm disgusted that my wife thinks that is all I'm worth after sharing the parental responsibility since my children have been born.

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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107094

  • Bill337
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yes that is rubbish. 30 min to an hour would be reasonable. sounds like you won't get anywhere with mediation.

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Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer or trained professional. I am not in a position to give legal advice. Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.

Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107107

I'm trying to understand why you left the house to begin with. And why you would leave the kids under her control if she's unstable. And why you would accept her deciding when and where and for how long you can have any sort of contact with the kids.

Short of any legal barrier, it's already been pointed out that if you leave for X number of days, that you've abandoned the place to her and have given her a bunch of rights she may not otherwise be entitled to. Any reason you can't go back and tell her to get out?

Document EVERYTHING. Pictures of parties, people over, the kids being exposed, all against government guidelines and regulations? Fantastic. The Court'll love it. Lies in her claims? Fantastic! Save them. DO NOT tell her lawyer anything other than to deny legal allegations. You don't want to giver her lawyer any help -- he's there to screw you and make sure she gets everything possible. Save the lies, prepare answers, collect as much proof for each and every answer you have ready (documents, mail, receipts, statements, photos, &c.).

If there were actual concerns about domestic violence or other abuse, why haven't they gone to the police?
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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107108

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So got my court date today. Its in September. I can't wait another 3 months to see my children :(
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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107109

Is there a lot of equity in house? Your best off moving back in and staying in a separate room and staying put until everything is resolved .
If you are living in house at least you can negotiate moving forward.

For example I will remain at parents house and leave our house if I see children every other weekend and 1 day during week. If she is offering a pathetic 5 min call and making allegations why would you want to make life so easy for her. Theres a lot of things you can do to make life not so easy for her but it depends on an individuals circumstances and there are children there.

A lot of dads if have awkward ex and worried about child contact actually just stay in house in separate room until ex partner is able to at least offer some compromise. child contact regular is a huge one as it makes life just that bit easier .

Also don't be rushing to give her any kind of financial support as this will be potentially used to gun you down by her using it to pay solicitor. If she hasn't got money then she cant afford to pay one which then results in her having to attend mediation and learn to compromise
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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107110

Move back in but don't get in any disputes. u could communicate via email and WhatsApp. you have court date in 3 months and only reason you should stay at parents is if contact is offered with children until court hearing. You already have evidence she is being nasty as shes offered you a 5 minute video call which is terrible. if you haven't done nothing wrong you cant just be kicked out especially if you are being reasonable . she will have to offer contact and back down . before you make decision it would depends on status of your house financially as well . its hard to advise as every case different.

If I lived in a house for example with a mortgage and ex said you can see kids regular and i had parents I could live with then that would make perfect sense if you have kids top of priority list when making decision.
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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107113

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She doesn't communicate with me, every little message age sends through her solicitor. I also have no key to my house, at the moment. I'm worried that if I go there she will call the police on me and make up all sorts of lies.

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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107114

You need to urgently sort some mediation out. otherwise you may not seen children for a very long time. At least at mediation you can try and get her to agree to some form of contact. You already have your family court date so nothing more can be done there. Also make sure you don't in next 3 months contact her unless about children and send any kind of abuse as she will use it against you.

Its ashame you left family home as you could of remained there and been in good position to negotiate things especially child contact.
Depending on situation of family home and finances I would seriously consider moving back in depending on circumstances. at least you would see your children daily. Why is she not letting you see children, is she worried you may not return with both of them. this is a common fear woman have when they split up with father of children

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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107115

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She is going by what the solicitor told her. He advised her there should be no contact due to the domestic abuse and violence to her (more lies). The solicitor also threatened me with an occupation order if I go to the house. My wife has told so many lies, she even told my mum that there is a court order out on me, but there isn't.

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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107121

Going to the place right now is a really bad idea. At best you'll have some sort of argument and you don't get in. At worst the police will arrest you, and probably serve you with a nonmol on the spot.

You need the childrens proceedings to get going, and possibly occupation proceedings as well if you want.

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Advise please 5 months 1 week ago #107122

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Clouduk wrote: So got my court date today. Its in September. I can't wait another 3 months to see my children :(


i been to court and addressed issue of kids being kept way from me due to covid. looks like i will also be hanging around till september to see kids.

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Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer or trained professional. I am not in a position to give legal advice. Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.