TOPIC: Advise please

Advise please 7 months 6 days ago #107366

Showing up at the house is a really bad idea.

At most, I would sent presents via Royal Mail.

I think it's actually ok to just keep them until you meet - then tell them you wanted to give it to them but didn't get the chance (in neutral terms).
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Advise please 7 months 6 days ago #107368

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What about this idea. I need to find somewhere to live and i have just found a house that backs onto my garden. If i went to view that could that cause issues

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Advise please 7 months 6 days ago #107370

some dads move a lot closer to ex, for the sake of the kids. you could do that, be discreet about it.

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Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer or trained professional. I am not in a position to give legal advice. Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.

Advise please 7 months 4 days ago #107398

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Update.

So after my horrible wife wouldn't even let me see my son for his 1st birthday I have now hired a solicitor. I'm hoping a threathing letter to her with everything I know about her and all the proof I have about how much I have looked after the children will scare her.

Words can't describe how much I hate her.

I tried to reach out to her family but they didn't care. My mother in law even sent my mum a message saying "if ANYONE goes near the House, then my wife will call the police" I got my mum to send a message back asking on what grounds would she call the police, also there are no court orders stopping me going there, didn't get a reply back.

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Advise please 7 months 4 days ago #107399

You hired a solicitor - you should really stop engaging with them at this point.

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Advise please 7 months 3 days ago #107432

Hello Clouduk,

I personally would not go to the house. I think you need to be very careful. If you did go untruths could be levelled at you and you could easily end up with a Non Molestation Order.

The house which backs onto your garden which you are considering living in sounds an ideal place to be. If you are served with a Non Molestation Order this may scupper any idea of that and complicate matters still further in other ways also.
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Last Edit: by MotherofaFather.

Advise please 7 months 3 days ago #107433

I would LOVE to live in a house with my daughters so close, but I might ask a solicitors advice on this. Your ex is trying to get away from you, moving right beside her may be deemed as intrusive. Non mol orders vary hugely in their restrictions, but a judge may deem it necessary to impose more stringent rulings if you are so close.

If my children lived at the bottom of my garden, if I was able to hear them play every day, but not have contact due to court orders, it might become somewhat of a living hell.

Non mol orders can create a weapon that is used against you in ways you cannot begin to imagine.

Be careful.
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Last Edit: by Bubbleberry.

Advise please 7 months 3 days ago #107437

hi Clouduk,

it's very hard but you need to stay patient in this long game. your c100 hearings in september right? don't give her any ammunition against you. up until the september hearing, its better to just stay away from her. make no contact with her. if she is allowing regular video calls, just stick to that. only contact her solicitor if you need to/to try get them to ask her if she would allow you to see child in person. but they will probably use covid19 as excuse. hang in there and don't do anything crazy.

using solicitor to send threatening letters etc will cost you a tonne and probably have little to no effect on her.
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Advise please 7 months 2 days ago #107452

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So got my mediation date through, 3rd July.

In regards to my previous comment of hiring a solicitor i was only going to use him to just help out on the replies as i'm getting so tired with the rubbish she sends me via her solicitor. I try to ignore it, but when she is saying the cats and rabbits need to find a new home as she can't look after them, then i start to worry. It makes me laugh that she thinks the house is hers now, even though we are both named on the mortgage.

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Advise please 7 months 2 days ago #107465

Hello Clouduk,

If you have a hostile unreasonable Ex you do not have to agree to her terms for contact with your children. You can ask the Mediator to "write off" the mediation and then go straight to court.
My Son has been to mediation twice and on both occasions mediation was "written off." There were no repercussions whatsoever when he went to court due to this. Both times the judges were very astute and quickly assessed what my Son was dealing with with regard to his Ex's intentions.

If, however, mediation works for both you and your Ex, I personally think the agreement reached should be set in a legal document (I cannot remember what it is called).

As mentioned in a previous post I would be patient, play the "long game" and under no circumstances give her anything she can use against you as ammunition. If your Ex offers contact of any sort, accept it, in so doing this will prove to the court the childrens' interests are your priority and also show how unreasonable your Ex is being, depending of course, what contact she is offering.

As a Grandmother myself, I well understand your Mother's wish to help you and the children in any way she can. However, I personally do not think it a good idea for her to be contacting your Ex on your behalf or having any contact with her whatsoever. My concern is that your Mother herself could have false accusations levelled at her and this would then complicate matters even further.
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Last Edit: by MotherofaFather.

Advise please 7 months 1 day ago #107502

You really need to talk to a solicitor.

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Advise please 7 months 16 hours ago #107510

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Update

So my mediation was booked for July 2nd. Last night my wife sent a message to my mum moaning that i had contacted her solicitor to ask if i could see the children this week, She said that it was costing too much money and she would have to cancel mediation. My mum sent back a lovely message saying that i was told to send all comms trough the solicitor otherwise if i emailed my wife directly she would class it as harassment. My mum then offered to pay for mediation. I also emailed mediation and offer to pay. Today i get an email from mediation saying my wife is happy to pay, but can we do it on the 30th June.

So I think my wife's plan was to send a nasty message to my mum and hope i would react. I have been so nice to my wife throughout these bloody hard 8 weeks, and i think people are starting to see through her lies now. The way she has been describing me i should have been smashing the front door down by now.

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