TOPIC: Advise please

Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107752

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Well mediation wasn't great at all. Fill of lies from my wife and her saying I was threatening her during it. Don't know if she will want another session but the other option is court, which she doesn't want or can't afford.

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Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107753

Time to take your ex to the family courts. least you got an insight of whats going to happen there. shes going to raise loads of allegations potentially.
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Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107756

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None of which she had evidence against. I couldn't believe what she was saying. She sahd I never really looked after the kids and she always found other people to have them w so I didn't have to. When I questioned her on breaking social distancing to spend time with the neighbours, she just kept saying she can have a social life. I then said I'm legally entitled a key to my house and I'm well within my rights to have a locksmith get in for me if not. She said i was threatening her, but then the mediator stepped in and says I was legally right and its not a threat. Apprently she us never jetting be back in my house for anything.

I didn't give away all the evidence I have against her in the, session.

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Last Edit: by Clouduk.

Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107761

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If it does go to court, do we both get to put our suggestions forward for the amount of contact or does the court decide everything. My wife in mediation was suggesting that my mum had to collect and pick he children up for me, and if my mum wasn't available then i wouldn't be able to have the children.

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Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107768

sounds like mediation is waste of time. thats a silly suggestion of getting your mum to pick up and drop kids.

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Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer or trained professional. I am not in a position to give legal advice. Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.

Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107777

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She also said that my 1 year son cant stay over night until he is school age as it will disrupt he's sleeping. The mediator picked up on this straight away and said to her that i thought you said he slept and you are also planning to take him away in a couple of weekends.

It angers me so much that i have been part of these children's lives from day one, i have done everything for them, and some weeks i have done more child care than my wife. She was selfish enough to break lock down rules as she wanted a break and to see her new friend next door.

Roll on September to the court date, unless she has a change of heart, which i doubt she will.

The other worrying thing is that she has started drinking now with the neighbours. My wife has been t-total since I've been with her

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Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107781

with court process, you will likely have to wait till your son is age 2 - 2 and a half before he stays overnight with you. happened to me in court process. usually if ex agrees, then you would be able to have son stay overnight while under 2 years old.

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Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer or trained professional. I am not in a position to give legal advice. Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.

Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107802

Hello Clouduk,

It sounds as though your wife is determined to control all aspects of the situation you find yourself in. Take control back from her, meaning, do not agree to her unreasonable demands but keep a diary, emails, texts etc for when you go to court as evidence of her behaviour. I would not let your wife know that you are building a case against her. I would stay calm, squeaky clean and make a case which shows it is in the best interests of your child/ren that contact be re-established as soon as possible.

Naturally you feel very distressed by her unreasonable requests or should I say demands. Do not be brow beaten by her into submitting what you know are unfair and unreasonable demands.

As I said before, I personally would not involve your Mother in this, Mother in the background supporting you is what you need. It is between you and your wife. Neither would I keep contacting her solicitor, every contact you make via her solicitor may well, unwittingly be giving him / her ammunition to use against you in court.

If there are no safeguarding and welfare issues regarding you, whatever age your child/ren are, you should be allowed overnights.
My Son had overnights granted when one child was 9 months old and the other 2 years of age.
In my experience and opinion overnights could possibly be difficult if it is a baby being breast fed.
If they are past that stage or not breast fed then overnights should be granted.
Fathers are equal to mothers in catering for babies, toddlers and childrens' needs.

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Last Edit: by MotherofaFather.

Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107806

She can’t put them in a school without your consent . My ex is trying to do the same. I emailed the school . They told me without a court order or both parents consent they won’t accept the application . Children’s act says the same . Both parents get a say

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Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107839

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Just had a massive shock. My mum just came and told me wife has been on the phone. I'm having my son and daughter Saturday week 8 till 2. Then the week after on the Thursday for my daughters birthday 8 till 6. Its a start and least I will get to see thrm. Maybe the guilt is hitting her now. I'm still taking her to court though if she trys to mess me around over contact going forward

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Last Edit: by Clouduk.

Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107841

citydad wrote: She can’t put them in a school without your consent . My ex is trying to do the same. I emailed the school . They told me without a court order or both parents consent they won’t accept the application . Children’s act says the same . Both parents get a say


that must be a very good school. my ex kept me in the dark and went head with school moves and all sorts without my consent.

they can do it on their own. info on law site:

In terms of a potential move of school, the school staff should be very aware of the need to ensure that where parents are separated that they both agree with the decision.

Having said that, should an ex-partner go ahead without consent of the other parent, then there is action that can be taken. Actions within the Court system can be taken both to prevent such steps (a Prohibited Steps Order), and to reach a decision as to which school would be the most suitable for their children (a Specific Issue Order).

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Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer or trained professional. I am not in a position to give legal advice. Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.

Advise please 6 months 3 weeks ago #107844

The cynic in me thinks this is just a temporary ruse to dissuade you from issuing court papers.

After a while the games will restart.

Press ahead.

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