• Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Help!

Help! 8 months 2 weeks ago #106997

My wife is one of those moms who Googles EVERYTHING and I am ready to delete every internet app of her phone. I need some advice to calm her down. She can’t even watch our TV shows because she is looking things up and misses entire episodes during our time together when our boy is asleep or napping...its been 7 weeks...I need some advise...

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Help! 8 months 2 weeks ago #107009

hi,

maybe this will help:

MY WIFE’S ADDICTED TO HER PHONE. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

kidslox.com/blog/wife-addicted-to-her-phone/

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Please consult a qualified professional for legal advice.

Whatever your situation Zoom counselling with qualified counsellors can help. You might like to be in touch for your secondary school aged children, or it could be you need support for yourself. To find out about costs or whether you qualify for funding (for example if you are on a low income or benefits) leave your details on this link and we will be in touch:

www.dad.info/online-zoom-conselling

Help! 8 months 2 weeks ago #107014

  • Yoda
  • Yoda's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 2765
  • Thank you received: 469
Hi, that must be very frustrating.

Have you tried talking to her and explaining how it is making you feel and the impact it is having on your relationship?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Help! 8 months 2 weeks ago #107037

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 11435
  • Thank you received: 1773
You definitely should have device-free time set aside so you can share stuff together.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

I am not qualified and any information given should be checked with a professional.

Whatever your situation Zoom counselling with qualified counsellors can help. You might like to be in touch for your secondary school aged children, or it could be you need support for yourself. To find out about costs or whether you qualify for funding (for example if you are on a low income or benefits) leave your details on this link and we will be in touch:

www.dad.info/online-zoom-counselling

Help! 8 months 1 week ago #107241

Hello,
On some mobiles these days it tells you how long you have spent on your phone each day, which type of apps were used and also a weekly total of time spent on the phone. I started to use this myself and was shocked at the amount of time all the 'little moments' were adding up to. Perhaps it may help your wife if she really knew how much time it was taking up?
Like the other person also mentioned, have you sat down and talked to your wife about how you feel about her phone usage? She may not even realise she's doing it half of the time. It could also be a way that she is unwinding after looking after your little boy. I don't know, but keeping communication open will help. Perhaps suggest doing an activity together that doesn't involve anything electronic.
Encourage your wife and yourself , if you have a phone too, to put them in a basket at meal times, and when watching a TV programme together, and also at night-time, leave your phones downstairs until morning.
Like all habits, it can be hard to break, but with some encouragement and motivation it is do-able!
Wishing you both success,
Kind Regards, Fegans Parent Support Volunteer

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Help! 8 months 1 week ago #107384

I hear you on that one!

Two thoughts spring to mind...

a) Sounds like your wife could be a data-driven information processor - these people need lots of data to make decisions. In the Think/Feel/Know model, she would be a "Thinker". If that's the case, you're not going to be able to change her, but it should help you cut her more slack once you understand that's just the way her brain works. That said, once she understands that too, she should hopefully be better able to self-regulate once she realises she perhaps doesn't need quite so much info. You can find out more about the Think/Feel/Know model here:


b) You could be a "Quality Time" person and sounds like your wife is not. I used to have this challenge with my wife, where my need for personal connection time was greater than hers. She is more of a "Words" and "Touch" person. If it turns out that is the case for you guys too, then as others have suggested, it helps to have a conversation about it and agree times when you can both go on the phone, and when not. And YOU will also want to learn (and do!) the things that make her feel special. You can find out more about the 5 different ways in which we all feel loved, valued, special in the FREE course we wrote, here: learn.soulmates.academy/courses/improving-communication

Hope that helps.

Wishing you all the best with it!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Page:
  • 1