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Docs 4 weeks 2 days ago #108168

  • shooo14
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Hey dads,
Court documents arrived today. Not sure what to make of it. My hearing is in Oct (already new this) but is a phone hearing. I mean I am waiting this long because of covid but I prefer to have my hearing in person.

This tells me there not taking it as serious as I am (why would they) but then it proves nothing will come from it.

Can interim contact or a CAO completed at 1st hearing?

Does anyone have any background on 'consent order' ? Advantage and disadvantages to it.

Im trying to look for a better solution then waiting for something that might or may never arrive.

Thanks

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Docs 4 weeks 2 days ago #108173

Hi Shoo, correct me if I'm wrong but do you have a police case open re breaches of non mol which is why contact has been stopped?

If so what are the timescales re that?have you sought legal advice? Do you currently have any conditions in place restricting you from contacting ex?

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Docs 4 weeks 2 days ago #108178

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Yes is still being investigated, for the last several months each time we chase up officer dealing with the case all I get is were still waiting for phone download.

I mean I have been very open with them about what happened so held my hands to it str8 away. Not sure why its taken this long.

Just to recap - ex lives under 2 hour drive away, one day she cancelled 5 mins from pick up for no reason, I feel for it and gave her an ear full. She has msgs of me having a go.

Since then I have not seen or spoken to any of our kids. Through her solicitor the reason given to me was 'breach of order'.

The order has nothing to do with me and the kids, its between me and her. Thats why I was puzzled which resulted in my c100 application.

Now there is no order, what reason does she have? If she hasnt extended then surely there isnt any concerns, right? I mean this alone is evident its all bs.

There isnt a timeframe on how long police can take, this is why they dont bail you anymore. There isnt a deadline they work towards.

I have spoken to solicitors but at this stage I haven't got them involved. I cant see what the benefits would be if she is refusing anything and everything.

I was hoping I could ring her solicitors Monday and push for a consent order. Speed up the process. I am asking for peanuts in terms of contact. Kids once a month, phone calls once a week and see how that works out before increasing contact in the future.

Somewhat a starting point.

I have no conditions but she refuses to open dialogue with me fullstop. Its very hard to always have to second guess everything.

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Docs 4 weeks 2 days ago #108180

Hi

I was released on bail which is much more onerous.

In the absence of you getting advice from a family law solicitor I do think you are missing a couple of things. I'm no expert so maybe others can confirm on the below points.

Your ex probably hasn't extended because you haven't contacted her which is positive but it does not necessarily mean she has no concerns.

Breaches of non mol are not just between you and her and are considered as tools to prevent domestic violence. Where there are allegations of domestic violence including breaches of any orders the children can also be considered victims simply by being there or seeing their mum harassed or getting upset. The courts consider the psychological impact on them.

This is what was explained to me when I was first issued with a non mol by a family law solicitor.

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Docs 4 weeks 2 days ago #108183

Ps I would say to arrange contact mutually agreed without going to court. Yes contact her solicitors but with low expectations. Its positive the non mol has lapsed.

See what her solicitor comes back with.

If they suggest contact which you feel isn't good enough, instead of rushing to court consider turning it into a progressive contact schedule where over time it increases to something that you will find acceptable. But try to get this agree upfront.

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Docs 4 weeks 2 days ago #108185

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hmmm thank you, so simple but yet very true. I think that might be the case. Again its all second guessing but seems like advice given to you makes sense so thanks for sharing it. Didn't think of it like that. Maybe I need to see them again, try make sense of whats going on from a legal perspective.

I will make contact with solicitors, Im happy for any form of contact but cant see how she would agree, at one point she refused supervised visits. I'll give it go.

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Docs 4 weeks 2 days ago #108187

I wouldnt expect much at 1st hearing. they will set another date for a directions hearing. only way you will get any form of contact will be if ex is agreeable to it. police should before your court date have completed their investigation.
If you have however sent nasty texts i assume they have confiscated your mobile phone.

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