TOPIC: new child

new child 4 weeks 7 hours ago #110449

hi,

are you in UK? usually a couple of days after child's birth, a mid wife/health visitor turns up to do checks on child. That's an ideal time for you to ask for help or let them know of any concerns.

there's some helpful tips here:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/being-a-parent/
The following user(s) said Thank You: nobitabre82

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new child 4 weeks 1 hour ago #110453

Hello nobitabre82,
May I say congratulations on the safe arrival of your newly born little girl! Well done in asking for some guidance, it's not always an easy thing to do.
Here are a few pointers which you may find useful, that are from personal experience, but also what I have learned from speaking with other families.
1. Becoming a new parent can be really overwhelming, so please don't be hard on yourselves. Remember to keep communication open between each other, if one of you is really down, then the other should try to encourage and if possible see if there is anything practical they can do to help in the situation.
2.Accept that you can't do it all. Asses your priorities - does your home need to be spotless each day? or can you just make time to have a more detailed clean once a week to do vacuuming, surfaces, bins, bathroom etc.
3. Use the services of the health visitors and midwifes as much as you can in the early weeks and months. They have a mind of information and organisations to which they can sign post you if you need extra help. There are breastfeeding groups online, there to help also if your wife would like some support with feeding.
4. Keep a close eye on each others mental health, and please don't be afraid to see your GP if you are feeling down, or anxious etc. I speak from personal experience here. Talking is good, and with the right help, things can improve.
5. Would you have some willing friends who would be able to cook a few meals for you for say a couple of weeks? This way you can both concentrate on just functioning and looking after baby.
6.Whilst you are at work, encourage your wife to sleep and rest when the baby sleeps. This is very early days, and with her being the person who is doing the feeding, she will need to keep her energy levels up as much as she can. Also encourage your wife to drink water and eat regularly too.
7. When you have your work shifts, is it possible for you to sleep in another room just to get some solid sleep? Your baby will settle into a sleep pattern - the bigger she gets the more food she will take on at a time, and the more alert she becomes for periods of time, then she will sleep better. Hang on in there !
8. If your mum is happy to help out sometimes, why not see of she can have baby for a couple of hours in between feeds so you can both rest? It may not be possible just yet as your daughter is so little, but eventually when she can go longer in between feeds, this could work well.
9. Try to remember that other people have been through what you are going through - life with a newborn. Do you have someone you could turn to at work to chat with if you're feeling overwhelmed ? Others will be able to remember what it's like not to have sleep. Ask for their tips too!
10. Finally - it is a cliché, but try to hold onto what I call a "golden nugget" from each day. Keep a little notebook and write down a word or sentence of something good that has happened. E.g." baby slept for three hours and we had a rest!" or when this happens -"baby smiled today for the first time!"

Be kind to yourselves, live one day at a time, or one hour at a time, and give yourselves a pat on the back when you make it through another day of the adventure that is parenthood! There are a couple of excellent organisations you can look up online that have all kinds of information for parents. These are Fegans and Care For The Family.
Hope I've not sent you to sleep! Kind Regards,
Fegans Parent Support Volunteer.

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new child 3 weeks 6 days ago #110456

are you in UK? usually a couple of days after child's birth, a mid wife/health visitor turns up to do checks on child. That's an ideal time for you to ask for help or let them know of any concerns.


thankyou so much!!

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Last Edit: by actd.