Does the C100 details ever get disclosed to your ex?
I had described some safeguarding concerns where my son had confided in me that his mum was abusive towards him. It also included details of her emotional and psychological abuse towards the children and me.
I do not want my son to get into trouble from his mum as she is very abusive and violent. But from the comments my ex has made recently it appears she has had access to what I wrote in my C100 which makes me worry for my son.
I was under the impression only Cafcass and the courts would have access to the info as it relates to safeguarding issues? Am I wrong?
I don't have legal representation, so any advice would be great before I start complaining to Cafcass for disclosing sensitive information.
I believe they do get sent a copy of the form. Any concerns you raised in there, cafcass will speak to her about too, do you know if she has had any contact with cafcass yet and have you reported any abuse to social services so they are aware of this?
That was my fear. I'm not sure if Cafcass has spoken to her. My first telephone interview with them is in November.
I reported the incident at the time to the NSPCC as she had dragged my son up the stairs and swore at him. He rang me in fear, so I spoke to the NSPCC for advice. I recorded this in the C100, but clearly stated that it shouldn't be shared with her as it would damage the trust between my son and I.
They clearly didn't read the form properly. I thought the first rule of safeguarding was that you don't disclose the information to the abuser?
How old is your son? cafcass will probably speak with him too, they did speak to mine and they were 5 and 3 at the time. They usually have a one to one chat with the child so they cannot be manipulated during the interview, so he may bring it up himself then?
My son is 11 almost 12. They will definitely speak to him, but because she has read the C100, she will have manipulated him into believing that he's done something wrong and that he needs to protect her.
Should I clarify this with Cafcass as I'm worried they have put him at risk.
I am not too sure if you should contact cafcass about it, maybe call social services or the NSPCC again for their advice on the matter. Are you likely to see your son at all before your interview with cafcass or has all contact stopped.
Cafcass should hopefully be able to pick up the signs, generally, kids are not great liars. cafcass may also speak with the school too, so if he has said anything to them or if they have seen signs of violence, i am sure they will bring that up too.
The main thing is that you need cafcass on your side,so I would not approach them and claim they have put your son at risk. The other party does need to see the c100 form so their solicitor will know what they are dealing with. Speak with other bodies who may be able to advise you, if you think your son is at risk, then social services should do something about it
the problem with making allegations is that it just ups the ante
and creates more hostility between parents in court. i made allegations in my c100 and frankly nothing came of it, was a pointless exercise on my part. but by all means make allegations if your child has suffered physical/emotional harm in any way. just be prepared for counter-allegations, mud slinging etc.
when you have your calls/interview with cafcass just explain all of your concerns for your child. cafcass will have to report it to court. your ex also needs to know what allegations are made about her, so she has a chance to defend her position.
Thank you. The mudslinging will be inevitable, she knows she's behaved badly and now needs to malign my character. Unfortunately I am going to have to relay all the incidents to Cafcass, because she was unrelenting during the marriage (even in front of the children) and has become even worse after the split. I've had scars, bruises and she bent my finger backwards so badly that it snapped at the joint, that was the the day I left. I just hope she hasn't made my son feel like he has done something wrong by confiding in me.
Only this week when I went to drop of my son's birthday present, she waited until I left, then followed me in her car shouting abuse as I was walking towards my car. Luckily I managed to film her behaviour on my phone. The worst thing is, she left the children on their own in the house to hunt me down...absolute nutter. If it was the other way around, I'd be behind bars right now!
Dear Liquorice786, Thanks for using Dad.info and hope you get the emotional support you need here. Just a polite reminder that if you are concerned any child is at risk of significant harm you should contact social services or the police. All best wishes, Nell, Editor
Hi liquorice786 - this must be very worrying for you. I am not an expert on the legal side of courts - but I do know that if you have any worries, even just a niggling concern - let alone proof that your children are in any danger from physical or emotional abuse, you should get onto Children's Social services. Their protection is the most important thing. Reassure your son that you love him and that he can confide in you too. I hope you can find a way through it all.