Hi all just need some general advice ..me and my ex split 13 months ago. Throughout this time every time something upsets the ex she cuts contact for a few days eg blocking numbers etc this normally lasts a few days. I met my current partner in April and recently moved in...I have had my daughter every weekend in that time alternate fridays and Saturdays and also took her to school every morning.2 weeks ago after agreeing that I could bring our daughter to my new home she cha GED her mind that evening and came round dragged my daughter home and assaulted me. Sinvecrhrn I gavent had contact with my daughter so I applied for court and must got the hearing date in 5 weeks. In peoples people's opinions would the judge stop contact....there are no safeguarding issues at all ....no drugs ....no violence I'm just a normal guy who goes to work all week...all this is is jealousy of my new partner ...we also tried mediation last year but she refused to sign the parenting plan. Also in the court papers it says she has applied also what can she apply for ?? Any advice would be amazing
Sounds a bit messy. The only advice is to remain child focused and calm. Do not send any messages to your ex, she can turn this in to harassment. I cannot tell you what is going to happen, but as always, women have the power when kids are involved. So prepare yourself for accusations. She can say you are violent or a risk to the kids, and the courts will have to listen to this and investigate the allegations too. This will involve caffcas who will do back ground checks on you both, so this may not be over a soon as you like. Some women make up domestic violence in order to get legal aid, if you are representing yourself, her solicitor will try to bully you. Just explain you just want to see your kid, and that is all. Stay calm, do not raise your voice, do not slag your ex off. Just stay focused on your kid.
It will seem things will get worse before they get better. If your ex says she does not want you to see your child because you have a new partner, they will not see this as valid excuse and will allow you contact. The court will always decide what is best for the kids, not you or her or what your differences are. The fact that she came round to your house and dragged your daughter home, is not good for her at all. It would have been very upsetting and confusing for her.
for your hearing make sure you write a position statement. try keept it brief like 2-3 sides max. make sure you write down what you are seeking in terms of arrangements. you know that this will most likely go to a 2nd or 3rd hearing. so on your statement write down what you are seeking in the interim, e.g. regular contact with child to continue as it was, before mother prevented all contact.
mention that you had your child unsupervised and at home, and ex allowed that. so court will see there were no safety issues.
The thing is she agreed my daughter could be at new partners home I have it on email then changed her mind. The things she has put in her application are that I called her a slut when we split up and that I love my daughter more than my stepson (her son ) both these are without foundation and irrelevant to the case as all my concern is my daughter
This is the problem we all have to deal with. The mother has the final say (for now) if you called her a slut when you split up 13 months ago, I doubt the court will stop you seeing your kid for that. You will need to follow the process, and once the court put a child arrangement order in writing, she will have to stick to it or she will get in trouble. Just explain how long you were seeing your kid before all of this with no issues at all. With regards to your step son, of course you are going to love your bio logical child more, everyone will understand that. Does the step son still want to see you, or has he been staying over with you since the separation? You legally do no have parental responsibility for your step son, so I would imagine the court won't take your feelings towards him be involved with your daughter.
It is a horrible situation to be in, but stay calm and focused, and it will all come to an end soon enough. From what you're saying, they will see your ex is being unreasonable. Keep messages and emails etc, but do not send her any messages or phone for now to stay on the safe side.
Yes I have still been having my stepson every weekend as well as my daughter but he has suddenly changed to back his mum. He is 16 anyway so can make his own choices. Also she states my new partners home is dirty etc this is also untrue it's just frustrating because I feel helpless until the court case you see your daughter every day of her life until last week