I have a fifteen year old girl. Great school reports, volunteers as a young leader at Brownies, attends venture scouts. Behind closed doors she and I clash terribly. Massive attitude, so much so that I have noticed I am starting to be reluctant to come home. It starts really small, as normal, then escalates. This evening I grounded her, only to see her cycle off past the front lounge window, about half hour later.
Massive row ensued between my wife and I. She also rows with my wife, but it doesn't really escalate to the same level. I feel that the support I give my wife, when they fall out, isn't reciprocated. For example, when my daughter is disrespectful to my wife I will say something like APOLOGISE TO YOUR MUM, DONT DISRESPECT HER LIKE THAT, though when my daughter and I fall out my wife is quiet, now and again chipping in CALM DOWN, to me not my daughter.
Daughter threatened to move out to nannys' house. I wasn't present for this. When my wife told me I replied that we should allow it, as there she wouldn't have unlimited computer access, lifts everywhere, money. Although on reflection I suspect that 'soft' nanny may do just that!!!!!
I work long hours, early starts and late finishes, shifts etc. I have found that I am now volunteering to stay on, come in early and even the overnighters.
I love my daughter, but just feel that my wife has undermined me for years so the respect has eroded.
What am I asking.................??? No idea, just feel a bit better sounding off.
It is a tough gig bring a parent. The kids just grow up but we have to learn to adapt our parenting skillsand it seems to be a constantly moving target.
All I can say, if you were looking for some support rather than only venting is to take a cool look at how you approach the situation and whether it could be done differently. Worked for a while for me but some things you just can't let go. also find if I am tired after work then I am likely to have more "run ins". Don't hide though by staying late, they won't be teens for that long (may feel like eternity)
Have always found that if kids sure at me or other such and my mum says "don't talk to your dad like that" I normally do not back her up as I am thinking "I can look after myself"