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TOPIC: 5 year old Daughter writing, I hate Daddy

5 year old Daughter writing, I hate Daddy 6 years 1 month ago #58715

  • ak57
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After years of battle and upset, finally contact was in place and my son was having one weekend overnight contact and one full day with is now 5 year old Daughter. As a family we were all delighted and thought at last things will be ok. Now its the little girl herself , the last few months she has been asking for Mummy constantly, started wetting the bed, goes very quite and now has started writing I hate Daddy every where and I want Mummy. My Grand daughter has been through 3 house moves, two new schools . My son has to travel 200 miles round trip. I think the picking up from School and the long journey and Mummy having a new boyfriend also the long times without regular contact has now impacted on her. My son is so upset but he also doesn't want to cause his little girl any more upset, he has approached the Mum and they are at least talking and I think maybe a school therapist may be called in . You know we so concentrate on getting contact , but we dont really know the damage the constant battles and lengthy times no contact is allowed.
This is having a huge impact on these Little mites . Its so sad that its now become a battle as the main losers are the children .... so if any women out there reads this, think before you make it so difficult as the one person you think you are protecting is the one person you are destroying ...
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5 year old Daughter writing, I hate Daddy 6 years 1 month ago #58744

  • Nannyjane
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Hi Ak

It's a crying shame that this is happening, You and your son have tried so hard and things were going really well.

I think half the problem here is the constant changes that this little girl has to deal with. We know that moving house is stressful and a change of school is a big deal too. The icing on the cake for me is the steady stream on new men in her home environment that she has to deal with, it's bound to make her question her position in the scheme of things, it will make her feel insecure and I think her behaviour is as a result of this.

Children need to feel secure and if she is having to move over and make room for her mums latest boyfriend then this will make her feel that she has to vie for attention...it's so sad. Perhaps she is pushing your son away for fear of losing him, as a kind of self preservation. If nothing stays the same in her little world then this might be a solution to that....she won't be conscious that that is what she is doing but our unconscious mind works in that way. Hopefully with some age appropriate counselling she will start to feel better about things.

You know where I am if you need to talk...x
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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

5 year old Daughter writing, I hate Daddy 6 years 1 month ago #58912

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That is very sad indeed. I doubt very much that she does hate him - as NJ says, I think it's either a defence mechanism or a cry for help or attention (what is your son's reaction to her when he sees she has written this?)

Hopefully a therapist will help her a lot.

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I am not qualified and any information given should be checked with a professional.

Whatever your situation Zoom counselling with qualified counsellors can help. You might like to be in touch for your secondary school aged children, or it could be you need support for yourself. To find out about costs or whether you qualify for funding (for example if you are on a low income or benefits) leave your details on this link and we will be in touch:

www.dad.info/online-zoom-counselling

5 year old Daughter writing, I hate Daddy 6 years 1 month ago #58934

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Hi
Thank you for your reply's and support. My son has tried to get in touch with the lady that helped within the school last year but no reply as yet. Talks with the Mum has back fired as per usual and now the usual control has reared its ugly head and its obviously my sons fault and ours, apparently my GD has said we buy her things we dont ply with her, she doesn't like us .. All un true and yes hurtful. My son hasn't really reacted in front of her , I did say to her after seeing this first hand , it wasnt a nice thing to write, she just went quite but it was soon forgotten and play commenced with her Christmas gifts which she loved..I think for now its going back to two day visits a month and one to one activities, lets hope this helps, it could be the overnights he fought so hard to get are now out of the window until my Gd asks to stay . I just hope the constant battles the constant prevention of having normal contact with restrictions, the months at a time not being allowed contact and parent alienation haven't done permanent damage..... Im not sure how much more any of us can take ...

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