TOPIC: Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home.

Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 4 years 9 months ago #60625

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Wow BD - that's a pretty powerful post and very helpful to anyone starting out on this journey. Thank you for posting it - even as a veteran of this forum, that was still very moving.

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Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 3 years 7 months ago #73664

To all you lads going through hell read my 1st post and then this one. I've jumped through all the hoops, painstakingly slowly. My head was pickled as anyone who remembers my posts will testify. I thought about taking my own life such was the pain but I could not put my wee boy or family through that. I fought to keep going although it took ever sinewy of my being. As I type my son is by my side this Easter week.

Fast forward since these horrendous days nearly two years since my separation from my ex. I've met a new lassie. The nicest lassie that walks the earth. She has been by my side some 8 months or so. Made me realise what love is, taken me and my son to her heart. I never loved my ex and she never loved me, I see that now. I wouldn't change meeting her though as she gave me the most precious gift of all. I see him regularly at my house now for full weekends and prolonged holiday periods such as this week.

Some people are not as fortunate as me I know that, they don't have good mates and a solid family. I remember that awful day I contemplated jumping off a local bridge. Minus them who knows....

A tiny bit of credit to me. I've always had a steely resolve which deep down also sustained me.

To those in despair just keep going folks...♥️
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Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 3 years 7 months ago #73665

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Great to hear from you BD! The journey back to our children can be a long and arduous one, but it is possible to come out the other side... So never mind a tiny bit of credit, you deserve huge amounts of it, you stayed the course and have your boy back in your life and the love of a good woman too!

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 3 years 3 weeks ago #78963

This post will mean nothing if you haven't read it from my first one 2.5 years ago. As I sit in a coffee shop prior to meeting my solicitor ahead of what is hopefully my final court date at 12 noon I have a strange sense of calm. I have a girl by my side who expects my child in 2 months. The baby just kicked and she told me it said 'good luck daddy'.

For now though wee man or wee lass my immediate focus is on the next hour and getting all of us the time with your big brother you both deserve.

To my children both unborn and the wee man already here, I promise with all my heart that daddy is about to give his all.

To the special girl I love with all my heart, thank you for being by my side. I won't show you this till after court as we can't both greet ahead of this now

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Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 3 years 3 weeks ago #78966

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Ah BD congratulations and massive good luck for midday today! Please let us know how you get on and keep in touch.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 3 years 3 weeks ago #79034

Wow I did it I finally did it. I got what should have happened amicably 2.5 years ago. The victim role that she adopted as the default setting of the wicked was seen through. The control she maintained as I trudged through the gender biased nightmare has gone. Not being in control will drive her insane. After what she has put me through I am glad she feels even a percentage of the hollowness I felt at the beginning that made me contemplate ending my life.

I got what I asked for. The judge was a fair man. I will never see my son as often as I like but equally I am now free to be me but most of all my son and I can breathe easy, safe in the knowledge love won over hate. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
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Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 3 years 3 weeks ago #79036

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This makes me so happy to read. Onwards and upwards now. Your son has got what he has deserved all along and you have a new baby on the way as well. You have come such a long way in these last couple of years. Please stay around if you can and keep us updated. Huge well done to you!

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 2 years 9 months ago #81421

Sitting in the hospital as my partner is being induced into labour as the baby is 10 days overdue. My wee boy is phoning tonight to see if he's a big brother.

I can't beleive how my life has changed. Thanks for your help everyone.

Quite emotional when I think of the heartache my family endured when my wee boy was taken from us and here I sit awaiting my second child.

Take care everyone ❤️

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Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 2 years 9 months ago #81432

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I assume that by now, you are a dad again :) so congratulations.

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Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 2 years 9 months ago #81443

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Congratulations BD

What a difference from the start of your journey to now.

Wishing you all the best.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 1 year 10 months ago #89058

Hi Guys, long time no visit. Just wanted to pop in to say Hi and hope you all had as nice as possible a Christmas, especially good wishes to those of you denied your kids, I know its such a difficult place to be and I hope you coped as best you can.

I am really passionate about fathers rights, like all of us and now I am stronger, I am trying to raise awareness of this horrible contact denial topic. It does get better. My son is with my parents today as I work as he is here for the new year. He is spending the day with his 11 month old wee brother and I cannot beleive my luck compared to the start of my nightmare. My parents today are taking them swimming, something all grandparents cherish but mine even more so after my ex took my wee boy away and made it so difficult to see him again. Thankfully after numerous court appearances for contact, the court saw through my ex partner. My parents have went from dreading maybe never seeing their only grandson again to now having a 3rd on the way.

On Xmas day, my fiance and me broke the news to our families that another sibling will join us in May. I feel like the luckiest man alive. My opening post on this topic feels like a lifetime away.

I debated whether to post this as having been suicidal not seeing my boy before as I know the despair only to well.

I hope this illustrates that things can turn around.

Keep fighting.
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Getting accustomed to 'contact' miles from home. 1 year 10 months ago #89061

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Hi BD!

Great to hear from you and even better to learn that you are doing so well. Its a real tonic for our Dads that are suffering right now to read stories of hope and encouragement... that things can and do get better.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.