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TOPIC: A little bit of hope

A little bit of hope 5 years 3 weeks ago #55738

  • Morten
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So I have a bit of good news to share with you. My son went to court on Monday to wholly dispute the non molestation order against him, only submitted because he had submitted a C100. Anyway he was very nervous about what would happen, he even bought a new pair of smart trousers and a smart shirt (thank you to whoever, suggested looking smart but not over the top).

His ex turned up with the baby and a friend. My son has a solictor but his ex didnt know so she was shocked, when the solicitor introduced herself. It was a constructive day. The ex has agreed to access through a contact centre to start with (very big of her, but I believe she has to sit in the car park for the 90 mins he is in there! Its gonna be a cold couple of months for her!).

The court were not happy she took the baby, they were not happy she had lodged the non mol after the C100. So she has to now produce evidence to back her claims of abuse (she wont have any as it didnt happen), she also has to pay for all this evidence, from the police, hospital etc. Unless she has done something very underhand (it wouldnt surprise me!), there is no evidence.

My son hopefully will get to see his daughter next week at the contact centre, not ideal circumstances, but its a start. We are quite positive now but I know this could all go pear shaped at any point. He has a hearing for the C100 in November which I am hoping will continue to be so positive.

Could I ask if anyone has any advice about these contact centre?

my sons solicitor thinks they are awful places and is fighting to get him access at home, but he ex will hold out as long as possible for this as she doesnt want me and my husband to meet our grandaughter.

There is hope for all you dads trying to get access, I think my sons case is probably a bit more straightforward than some as there is no property or new partners involved. But I have to say two weeks ago, I was not feeling so positive. Its been with the help of you guys that we are where we are now.

Trying to stay positive and hopeful.

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A little bit of hope 5 years 3 weeks ago #55740

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Thanks for the update, she is on the back foot by the look of it!

Contact centres differ widely, some cost a fortune others are free or subsidised. Who will be liaising with the contact centre to make the arrangements? I would be pleasantly surprised if you can get it arranged for next week but I do hope this is the case.

The good thing is that this won't be for long and I would imagine at the next hearing contact could well be moved away from the Centre.
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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

A little bit of hope 5 years 3 weeks ago #55878

A little bit of hope? I know this isnt resolved yet but that is triumphant! Well done to you and your Son.

I know there is a long road ahead but its a great start!

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A little bit of hope 5 years 3 weeks ago #55889

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Thank you NannyJane and Chimp, I know there are a lot of dads on here that are not having so much luck. I dont want to brag because I seriously feel for these guys. The whole system is so unfair. I also think we are being hopeful for this weekend, but anytime soon would be good.

Our solicitors will be co-ordinating the contact centre, our solicitor has sent us the referral forms so we have forwarded them to 2 different Salvation Army run centres, so hopefully something can be in place soon.

I am trying not to build my hopes up to much, then if it does go wrong at any point, I will not feel quite so disappointed.

Thank you

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A little bit of hope 5 years 3 weeks ago #55893

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...I know our members love to hear about others success, it gives us all a boost!

It's best to keep a lid on your expectations at this stage....it's a roller coaster ride and there will probably be some more ups and downs before it's all settled...but I've got my fingers quietly crossed that it's plain sailing for you from now on!

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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

A little bit of hope 5 years 3 weeks ago #55911

The contact centre is a result it was 10 months before I got to see my Daughter so you have done well, I suspect the ex did herself no favours thats why the court ordered contact straight away.

Although I can't stand the contact centre I attend and all the staff that run it they are very child focused and they make sure me and my ex don't have contact I hate to admit it but that was probs the best way for my daughter to get to know me again.

Be prepared for more allegations ect from the ex as they seem to get more and more angry as the case goes on as they dont like losing control just make sure your son stick to what ever order the courts give and do what they say let the ex make her mistakes and tell him not to worry what she is up to concentrate on himself the courts will soon get wise to her.

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

A little bit of hope 5 years 3 weeks ago #55925

Well done Morten good to hear success so far story helps to keep the rest of us positive

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A little bit of hope 5 years 2 weeks ago #56375

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A bit more of an update. My son had a call on Saturday to ask why he wasnt at the contact centre when his ex and baby were? He told them that he had not been given any details just a phone call that said it might be possible. the woman from the centre said it was her error and she thinks she forgot to phone him. Where does that leave him? He was beating himself up all day about it, the lost chance to see his daughter, would the courts think he wasnt interested now etc.. I told him to stop worrying and I am sure things will work out. Then spent the rest of the day fretting myself!.

He has a new date of 15th now which is a few days after his court date, so hopefully his ex will know that it wasnt his fault he didnt turn up. He is now worried she might start playing games and not turn up on 15th...

Its so frustrating that these Contact Centres do not seem to realise how important it is for dads to be able to see their children. I know they are run by volunteers so I am being a bit harsh, but they need to know the impact a small error on their part can have on everyone else involved.

Rant over.... :)

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A little bit of hope 5 years 2 weeks ago #56381

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What a shame...stupid woman! I would ask for a letter from the contact centre saying that the session didnt go ahead because they forgot to inform your son that it had been arranged. This would be useful for the court, its always best to have some kind of written proof in these matters.

He should also ask them to let his ex know that it was not his fault...they should apologise to her and your son.
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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

A little bit of hope 5 years 2 weeks ago #56384

Honestly have these contact centre staff been to the same school as cafcass? They make my blood boil :x
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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

A little bit of hope 5 years 2 weeks ago #56432

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I know they must get how important it is for you dads to see your kids and to completely mess up like that, its sooo frustrating. My son has taken it in his stride really and moved on, its me that really cross.

I bet nothing has been said to his ex and she just thinks he didnt turn up. Which does not bode well for the future.

I\'m pleased its not just me that thinks they really should get their act together.

Thanks everyone, you really do keep me sane!

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A little bit of hope 5 years 5 days ago #56936

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My son has just had a family court hearing and been told that he will have to visit his daughter at a contact centre. Unfortunately the contact centre around us are all really full and there is a waiting list. We have managed to get him a place at one, but its only for an hour every two weeks. The courts and ex agreed that 90 mins a week would be good. Its frustrating as I know these centres are run by volunteers but an hour ever fornight is not great, my grandaughter is 8 weeks old and my son has only seen her twice both for about 10 mins.

Things seemed to be going his way, but the judge or whatever they are called seemed to take his ex's side yesterday, even though she has a non molestation order on him and her and her solicitor didnt come up with the evidence to back this, which was due in on Monday last. they have been granted an extension until the end of the month. Its appauling the Non Mol was only thrown at him after the C100 was recieved by his ex and he will have this hanging over him until the end of Jan when they go back to court. He was also told that he wouldnt be granted any extra time over christmas with his daughter, which is sad, I bet the judge will spend time with her children and family! I was hoping we might get to meet the baby over Christmas but this isnt to be. She will be 5 months old when we finally meet her.

My sons solicitor was on holiday this week and couldnt attend court with him, so I am proud that he stood up for himself whilst there. But when his solicitor gets back she needs to kick arse and get his name on the birth certificate so that he can feel a bit more human and that the baby is his daughter. At the moment he feels like a second class citizen and criminal.

I thought everything was going to well.

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