TOPIC: Are there others like me?

Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77878

  • actd
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Hi

Actually, you sound quite a bit like me - I get on very well with people at work, and in the past, my friedns have been people I work with, and generally don't have many friends of my own other than that. All my sports have been solitary sports (hang gliding, microlights, kiting) though archery was a solitary sport shared with others, and that did mean I did make some friends outside work. And I was never particulalrly good at being alone, so it has always been a bit of a conundrum. It is worth joining in groups, so cycling clubs and rambling clubs might suit you, but just do what you are cdomfortable with at the moment.

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Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77881

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Everyone is different, and whether you're going through a difficult time or not, some of us are just more solitary than others. Personally, I need quite a lot of solo time but that can feel quite isolating sometimes when you don't feel like being alone.

You are going through a process at the minute so be kind to yourself, maybe think about what actd said - look at joining some groups that you can attend when you want to go and if you do feel like you need to talk, perhaps think about finding some counselling. I've done this a few times and it can be quite liberating to talk to someone who has no agenda & is trained to talk and listen.

Keep posting here and we will do what we can to support you if required.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77882

Hi Motherofafather

Thank you for your reply.

I am sorry for the sudden loss you had and I can imagine that suddenly being left alone must have been devastating.
I have not contacted the Samaritans but it is something I would consider; I am fortunate in that, whilst I don't have any friends I socialise with, I am able to talk to anyone and find it really helps.
I am currently using a counsellor which I do enjoy my weekly visits to talk things out.

Thank you once again

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Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77883

Hi

Since recently splitting up from my wife, I have for two weeks been sleeping in my sisters box room, which is cosy, but not what i am used to.
Whilst most of my day I feel very low and sad, waking up first thing in the morning is the worst time.

Upon first waking (usually quite early), for about 10 seconds I feel normal, then a huge depression hits me and I feel very restless and distressed. This distress lasts until I get up and potter around, then it's just the normal low feeling.
I am signed off work and on anti-depressants for the first time, so I am guessing I have hit the depressed stage of my breakup.

On most days, I will have a lull in my feelings and feel a little normal for an hour or so, usually when I am distracted, but sometimes I get so scared -I just want the feelings to go away.

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Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77885

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Morning Headspace, I hope you don't mind but I have combined two of your posts together so that it is easier for everyone to keep track of your posts and reply having been able to read most of it in one thread.

It's perfectly normal to feel this way in a morning, and this will get easier as time goes by.

It really might be worth asking your GP for details of a local counselling service in addition to the medication you're taking.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77887

Thank you Yoda

I am currently receiving counselling together with the medication. It was a quick set-up as it was through work.

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Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77889

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No worries, honestly, be kind to yourself and take it a day at a time. It does get better but it does take time. Post away on here and we will do what we can to support you.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77899

Hi

Since leaving the house and staying with my sister following separating from my wife, every morning I wake up (which is usually far too early) I go into a deep depression which will last most of the day.
I get very anxious and cannot settle, not to mention the fear of the Unknown and this is scaring me. I want to stay in bed longer, but it's just too depressing.
I'm on anti-depressants and having counselling and in wondering if it is the depression stage that I am now in.
The thought of going it alone now is scaring me; as at my sisters I do feel safe!

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Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77901

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Hi Headspace

I've merged this new thread into your others in the Blogs category. If you keep starting a new thread for each time you want to post, members may find it difficult to answer you if you have several threads on the go. Each time anyone replies to your topic it will move it back to the top of the 'recent topics' section anyway.

It's good that you have your sisters house where you feel 'safe' - it is a very unsettling experience that you are going through and good you have the consistency of staying where you are.

Anti depressants can take a while to get into your system but you should start to see some benefits around the 4 week mark.

Go easy on yourself, it's early days yet and we all react differently to these massive life changes. Anxiety can be so debilitating and it's worth mentioning this to your GP if you feel this is getting worse. There are other medications you can take that have a physical effect while you are waiting for the anti depressants to work.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77929

Thanks Yoda
Are you able to delete the other threads

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Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77943

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I've just merged your welcome posting into this and deleted the duplicate post - all on this thread now :)
The following user(s) said Thank You: Headspace

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Are there others like me? 3 years 1 month ago #77990

Morning

Having separated a month ago from my wife, we have been amicable where access to my daughter has not been a problem. Whilst I have been absolutely struggling with my emotions whilst staying at my sisters, I have been alone this week as everyone has gone on holiday, so naturally I have really been anxious and unsettled.

The thing that I have noticed is that, whilst I enjoy being with my daughter and it still hurts that I don't see her every day, when I am at my sisters and I'm not seeing her for a couple f days, I feel ok about it; I get nervous when I am about to see her, probably because I'll see my wife too.

Is it that I am consciously or subconsciously protecting myself? Is it because when I go to my house that I left I feel sad?
Can anyone understand where I'm coming from?

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