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TOPIC: She’s stopped me seeing my son

She’s stopped me seeing my son 3 weeks 3 days ago #99740

Hey. This is the first time I have ever done something like this and it scares me a bit but I feel like I need to reach out to dads that are going through what I am if not worse. So here goes this is my story.
I have been a dad for 3 years now but they have not been easy ones as me and my baby’s mum broke up before he was even born. If I am being honest we were both very opposites and didn’t really suit. She tried to change so much about me that I just didn’t like who I was becoming I felt like I was losing the person that I was. So we broke up and she moved back to her parents. I wasn’t upset that we had broken up I was more worried about when and if I was going to see my son because I had seen my brother go through the same thing and was scared of losing him altogether. So for the past 3 years I bowed down to everything she wanted even to the point where I didn’t get my son over night till he was 14 months old which killed me because all I wanted was my time with him. The only time I ever got on my own with him was when she went back to work. The days that I was off and she was off she had to be there too so because he lived with her he always ran to her first before me which made me feel really bad. I bottled up everything of how I felt and what was going round in my head because I was scared of losing him but inside it killed me all the time that I never really got that time with him on my own. Even when I did get him on my own she would text or call every 4 hours so I felt like I was treated like a baby sitter not a father. So jump forward to my son being 2. I had met up with a friend from the past which turned out to becoming a relationship she made me feel amazing and didn’t want to change a thing about me. I told this to her and I finally stood up to her and said that I wanted my time with him on my own on my days well as you can imagine it didn’t go down too good. She started to blame it on the new girlfriend which it wasn’t it was how I had felt for a long time but just couldn’t stand up to her. She basically said that I was going against everything I had said in the past but I wasn’t I had always felt like that but felt that I couldn’t say anything because I was too scared of losing him. I said that we needed to do this so that we could both move on with our lives and have other relationships. So after a big argument she agreed to doing it but from that moment on things just got worse. I went from seeing my son all day wednesday and Thursdays morning and Sunday all day to not being able to pick him up till 2 on a Wednesday which gives me no time to do anything with him because I had to get him home fed and ready for bed by 6. in which she would call or FaceTime in that time too which she said was because she missed him but made me feel like she was checking up on me which I never did to her when she has him. So then he would go to sleep and I would chill before going to slee my self. We wake up in the morning and before I even get the chance to wake up properly I have got a message from her asking how he is and if he was ok in the night. It’s just so hard because I felt like I was always being checked up on.
So me and the girlfriend were together 3 month and I felt like I was never seeing her because my days off were always with him which is what I want but I also want those days with her too and she has a son around my sons age so would be a great play mate for him. But my sons mum was against it from the start because she was claiming that those days were my one to one days with him which it was like that even if anyone was around anyway because he always had my full attention all the time. She had to be in control all he time and I had to tell her everything that I was planing on doing with him on my days and if she didn’t like it then she kicked off and said that I wasn’t doing that with him because it’s not safe. Like going on a train to somewhere with him or taking him somewhere new I wasn’t aloud to do it because she said so and accused me of going behind her back if I didn’t tell her what we were doing. There are a lot of ins and outs about all this but I don’t want to go into too much on this because I will go on forever about all the times she stopped me doing things with him so I’m going to jump forward a bit. But let me just say that she had a problem with everything I did with him even when I went and got him a car seat for my girlfriends car so we could go out and do things she basically said that I was not to put him in her car baceuse she didn’t know her.
So I just want to jump forward a bit and say Me and the new girlfriend had just found out we are having a baby and we were so happy that both our children were going to have a brother or sister and that we were having a baby together. Yes we had some ups and downs in our relationship but that’s had nothing to do with my sons mum. But in the end me and her ended up breaking up because of many reasons one being my sons mum because she was just stressing both of us out all the time with all these arguments and stuff. But me and the baby’s mum still stayed friends and I am still going to all the scans and meetings about the baby. So just forward to 5 weeks ago we decided to post on Facebook about us having a baby so we decided to buy t-shirts for the boys that said going to be a big brother and post a picture of the scan and one of the boys together with there t-shirts. Well about 30 mins later I hear from my boys mum basically kicking off say that I was to take the picture down of the boys and that she should take the picture of her son off her Facebook. There was a lot that happened that day and night I don’t want to go into too much but it was one of the worst days I have ever had. So anyway from that day on I haven’t seen my son because she is saying that he doesn’t want to see me which I think is a load of rubbish because he is a 3 year who doesn’t understand what he is saying and she has said that until he says he wants to see me that I am not going to see him. She has also said that the mother of my baby is not to ever be around him which is just crazy because she is not a threat to him at all and nothing would happen to him. She has basically said that She doesnt care that he doesn’t have a relationship with his siblin which I think is bang out of order because that’s his brother or sister not hers and shouldn’t be her choice. He deserves to have a relationship with his siblin . She is using him as a weapon against me and it’s not fair at all so I am taking steps to try and get to see him. It is going to cost me so much money but it is what I have to do for him because every child deserves a relationship with there dad. It has been a tough 3 years and I have been down so much over everything. But things are taking a step forward because that’s all I can do. Sorry this is so long but I just had to get it all out

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She’s stopped me seeing my son 3 weeks 3 days ago #99741

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Hi there and welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, I think it’s good that you’re now going to try and move your situation forward... just talking about our problems can really help sometimes.

Keep talking mate... all the best.
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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

She’s stopped me seeing my son 3 weeks 3 days ago #99749

Dadunclebrother wrote: Hey. This is the first time I have ever done something like this and it scares me a bit but I feel like I need to reach out to dads that are going through what I am if not worse. So here goes this is my story.
I have been a dad for 3 years now but they have not been easy ones as me and my baby’s mum broke up before he was even born. If I am being honest we were both very opposites and didn’t really suit. She tried to change so much about me that I just didn’t like who I was becoming I felt like I was losing the person that I was. So we broke up and she moved back to her parents. I wasn’t upset that we had broken up I was more worried about when and if I was going to see my son because I had seen my brother go through the same thing and was scared of losing him altogether. So for the past 3 years I bowed down to everything she wanted even to the point where I didn’t get my son over night till he was 14 months old which killed me because all I wanted was my time with him. The only time I ever got on my own with him was when she went back to work. The days that I was off and she was off she had to be there too so because he lived with her he always ran to her first before me which made me feel really bad. I bottled up everything of how I felt and what was going round in my head because I was scared of losing him but inside it killed me all the time that I never really got that time with him on my own. Even when I did get him on my own she would text or call every 4 hours so I felt like I was treated like a baby sitter not a father. So jump forward to my son being 2. I had met up with a friend from the past which turned out to becoming a relationship she made me feel amazing and didn’t want to change a thing about me. I told this to her and I finally stood up to her and said that I wanted my time with him on my own on my days well as you can imagine it didn’t go down too good. She started to blame it on the new girlfriend which it wasn’t it was how I had felt for a long time but just couldn’t stand up to her. She basically said that I was going against everything I had said in the past but I wasn’t I had always felt like that but felt that I couldn’t say anything because I was too scared of losing him. I said that we needed to do this so that we could both move on with our lives and have other relationships. So after a big argument she agreed to doing it but from that moment on things just got worse. I went from seeing my son all day wednesday and Thursdays morning and Sunday all day to not being able to pick him up till 2 on a Wednesday which gives me no time to do anything with him because I had to get him home fed and ready for bed by 6. in which she would call or FaceTime in that time too which she said was because she missed him but made me feel like she was checking up on me which I never did to her when she has him. So then he would go to sleep and I would chill before going to slee my self. We wake up in the morning and before I even get the chance to wake up properly I have got a message from her asking how he is and if he was ok in the night. It’s just so hard because I felt like I was always being checked up on.
So me and the girlfriend were together 3 month and I felt like I was never seeing her because my days off were always with him which is what I want but I also want those days with her too and she has a son around my sons age so would be a great play mate for him. But my sons mum was against it from the start because she was claiming that those days were my one to one days with him which it was like that even if anyone was around anyway because he always had my full attention all the time. She had to be in control all he time and I had to tell her everything that I was planing on doing with him on my days and if she didn’t like it then she kicked off and said that I wasn’t doing that with him because it’s not safe. Like going on a train to somewhere with him or taking him somewhere new I wasn’t aloud to do it because she said so and accused me of going behind her back if I didn’t tell her what we were doing. There are a lot of ins and outs about all this but I don’t want to go into too much on this because I will go on forever about all the times she stopped me doing things with him so I’m going to jump forward a bit. But let me just say that she had a problem with everything I did with him even when I went and got him a car seat for my girlfriends car so we could go out and do things she basically said that I was not to put him in her car baceuse she didn’t know her.
So I just want to jump forward a bit and say Me and the new girlfriend had just found out we are having a baby and we were so happy that both our children were going to have a brother or sister and that we were having a baby together. Yes we had some ups and downs in our relationship and most of that was because of the stuff my sons mum put us through. She had to always be in control of everything and it just wasn’t fair. I don’t understand why it is one rule for her and another for me I never told her what she could or couldn’t do with him so why should she be able to. . But in the end me and her ended up breaking up because of many reasons one being my sons mum because she was just stressing both of us out all the time with all these arguments and stuff. But me and the baby’s mum still stayed friends and I am still going to all the scans and meetings about the baby. So just forward to 5 weeks ago we decided to post on Facebook about us having a baby so we decided to buy t-shirts for the boys that said going to be a big brother and post a picture of the scan and one of the boys together with there t-shirts. Well about 30 mins later I hear from my boys mum basically kicking off say that I was to take the picture down of the boys and that she should take the picture of her son off her Facebook. There was a lot that happened that day and night I don’t want to go into too much but it was one of the worst days I have ever had. So anyway from that day on I haven’t seen my son because she is saying that he doesn’t want to see me which I think is a load of rubbish because he is a 3 year who doesn’t understand what he is saying and she has said that until he says he wants to see me that I am not going to see him. She has also said that the mother of my baby is not to ever be around him which is just crazy because she is not a threat to him at all and nothing would happen to him. She has basically said that She doesnt care that he doesn’t have a relationship with his siblin which I think is bang out of order because that’s his brother or sister not hers and shouldn’t be her choice. He deserves to have a relationship with his siblin . She is using him as a weapon against me and it’s not fair at all so I am taking steps to try and get to see him. It is going to cost me so much money but it is what I have to do for him because every child deserves a relationship with there dad. It has been a tough 3 years and I have been down so much over everything. But things are taking a step forward because that’s all I can do. Sorry this is so long but I just had to get it all out

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She’s stopped me seeing my son 3 weeks 3 days ago #99751

hi,

hope things work out for you.this has court order written all over it. if i were you i would just ditch social media stuff, posting about children. just causes more problems.
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She’s stopped me seeing my son 3 weeks 3 days ago #99752

Dadunclebrother wrote: Hey. This is the first time I have ever done something like this and it scares me a bit but I feel like I need to reach out to dads that are going through what I am if not worse. So here goes this is my story.
I have been a dad for 3 years now but they have not been easy ones as me and my baby’s mum broke up before he was even born. If I am being honest we were both very opposites and didn’t really suit. She tried to change so much about me that I just didn’t like who I was becoming I felt like I was losing the person that I was. So we broke up and she moved back to her parents. I wasn’t upset that we had broken up I was more worried about when and if I was going to see my son because I had seen my brother go through the same thing and was scared of losing him altogether. So for the past 3 years I bowed down to everything she wanted even to the point where I didn’t get my son over night till he was 14 months old which killed me because all I wanted was my time with him. The only time I ever got on my own with him was when she went back to work. The days that I was off and she was off she had to be there too so because he lived with her he always ran to her first before me which made me feel really bad. I bottled up everything of how I felt and what was going round in my head because I was scared of losing him but inside it killed me all the time that I never really got that time with him on my own. Even when I did get him on my own she would text or call every 4 hours so I felt like I was treated like a baby sitter not a father. So jump forward to my son being 2. I had met up with a friend from the past which turned out to becoming a relationship she made me feel amazing and didn’t want to change a thing about me. I told this to her and I finally stood up to her and said that I wanted my time with him on my own on my days well as you can imagine it didn’t go down too good. She started to blame it on the new girlfriend which it wasn’t it was how I had felt for a long time but just couldn’t stand up to her. She basically said that I was going against everything I had said in the past but I wasn’t I had always felt like that but felt that I couldn’t say anything because I was too scared of losing him. I said that we needed to do this so that we could both move on with our lives and have other relationships. So after a big argument she agreed to doing it but from that moment on things just got worse. I went from seeing my son all day wednesday and Thursdays morning and Sunday all day to not being able to pick him up till 2 on a Wednesday which gives me no time to do anything with him because I had to get him home fed and ready for bed by 6. in which she would call or FaceTime in that time too which she said was because she missed him but made me feel like she was checking up on me which I never did to her when she has him. So then he would go to sleep and I would chill before going to slee my self. We wake up in the morning and before I even get the chance to wake up properly I have got a message from her asking how he is and if he was ok in the night. It’s just so hard because I felt like I was always being checked up on.
So me and the girlfriend were together 3 month and I felt like I was never seeing her because my days off were always with him which is what I want but I also want those days with her too and she has a son around my sons age so would be a great play mate for him. But my sons mum was against it from the start because she was claiming that those days were my one to one days with him which it was like that even if anyone was around anyway because he always had my full attention all the time. She had to be in control all he time and I had to tell her everything that I was planing on doing with him on my days and if she didn’t like it then she kicked off and said that I wasn’t doing that with him because it’s not safe. Like going on a train to somewhere with him or taking him somewhere new I wasn’t aloud to do it because she said so and accused me of going behind her back if I didn’t tell her what we were doing. There are a lot of ins and outs about all this but I don’t want to go into too much on this because I will go on forever about all the times she stopped me doing things with him so I’m going to jump forward a bit. But let me just say that she had a problem with everything I did with him even when I went and got him a car seat for my girlfriends car so we could go out and do things she basically said that I was not to put him in her car baceuse she didn’t know her.
So I just want to jump forward a bit and say Me and the new girlfriend had just found out we are having a baby and we were so happy that both our children were going to have a brother or sister and that we were having a baby together. Yes we had some ups and downs in our relationship and most of that was because of the stuff my sons mum put us through. She had to always be in control of everything and it just wasn’t fair. I don’t understand why it is one rule for her and another for me I never told her what she could or couldn’t do with him so why should she be able to. . But in the end me and her ended up breaking up because of many reasons one being my sons mum because she was just stressing both of us out all the time with all these arguments and stuff. But me and the baby’s mum still stayed friends and I am still going to all the scans and meetings about the baby. So just forward to 5 weeks ago we decided to post on Facebook about us having a baby so we decided to buy t-shirts for the boys that said going to be a big brother and post a picture of the scan and one of the boys together with there t-shirts. Well about 30 mins later I hear from my boys mum basically kicking off say that I was to take the picture down of the boys and that she should take the picture of her son off her Facebook. There was a lot that happened that day and night I don’t want to go into too much but it was one of the worst days I have ever had. So anyway from that day on I haven’t seen my son because she is saying that he doesn’t want to see me which I think is a load of rubbish because he is a 3 year who doesn’t understand what he is saying and she has said that until he says he wants to see me that I am not going to see him. She has also said that the mother of my baby is not to ever be around him which is just crazy because she is not a threat to him at all and nothing would happen to him. She has basically said that She doesnt care that he doesn’t have a relationship with his siblin which I think is bang out of order because that’s his brother or sister not hers and shouldn’t be her choice. He deserves to have a relationship with his siblin . She is using him as a weapon against me and it’s not fair at all so I am taking steps to try and get to see him. It is going to cost me so much money but it is what I have to do for him because every child deserves a relationship with there dad. It has been a tough 3 years and I have been down so much over everything. She is a nasty peace of work that only cares about her self and not what she is doing to him. My son and the baby on the way mean the world to me and I would do anything for both of them. I think I am a good dad to him but she makes me feel like I am not a good enough dad all the time and puts me down any chance she gets. I don’t understand why she is being so unreasonable but she has been from the start I just don’t get it cause in the end it’s him that’s missing out and I just don’t think that it’s fair. I miss his little smiling happy face every single day and I just don’t understand why keeping him away from his dad is what’s right for him. I am 99.9% sure that my son would never say that he doesn’t want to see me. I think she is asking him when he is playing and having fun so he doesn’t want to come away from that but she is using that as a weapon against me I am 100% sure that if he saw me he would run up to me and give me a big cuddle and tell me that he misses me but it doesn’t stop it hurting that she would say that he is saying that even if I think that it’s not true. But things are taking a step forward because that’s all I can do. Sorry this is so long but I just had to get it all out

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Last Edit: by Dadunclebrother. Reason: Worded wrong
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