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TOPIC: Need to talk - Covid & shared care

Need to talk - Covid & shared care 3 weeks 2 days ago #107313

Hello,

After exactly 3 months isolation (as I live with my Mum who is shielding as she's over 70) I saw my son (who's 3 years old) again last week for my normal shared care routine. Now after a bad bout of Hayfever and getting a cold, I rang 111 with Covid-like symptoms and was told to get a test for Covid and isolate.

I've had to cancel my shared parenting for this week and the potential to have my son for a few hours on Father's Day. I feel so guilty and sad, even though this is for the best for all concerned. Why do I feel like this? Is it normal? His Mother didn't help by replying back to my message by saying 'his voice sounded different' when he went back to her and that he had a sore throat today, even though that could be caused by going to the Nursery or her taking him out somewhere.

I know I shouldn't let her or this situation get to me, but I feel helpless and I don't want anything jeopardising my relationship with my son.

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Need to talk - Covid & shared care 3 weeks 2 days ago #107314

hi,

i am in similar situation as you. i live with mum who's very elderly. have not seen my kids for 3 months. due to have them for weekend this coming friday. i have had hayfever trouble too. calms down after i take tablets. its possible you may not have covid. could be just nasty bout of hay fever. i think your doing the right thing by taking precautions for yourself and your child. try not to worry, and can focus on resuming your shared care as soon as both of you feel better and recover.
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Last Edit: by Bill337.

Need to talk - Covid & shared care 3 weeks 2 days ago #107315

Hi IntrovertedDad, I think all the feelings you are experiencing are completely normal, of course you would feel sad and gutted to not be seeing your son over Fathers day, you were just begininning to get things back to normal (whatever that is!) so don't feel bad for how you are feeling. Perhaps you could talk to your son and explain to him that you are not well and you can count down the days or sleeps together of when you will see him again (assuming that you will be ok after the quarantine of 14 days) If you have regular contact with him on the phone/facetime, you can still talk to him, read stories or even play games so that he knows you are still there and still love him - which I am sure he knows. Keep going, you have managed 3 months, its just a tiny bit longer. Have a look at www.fegans.org.uk/family-hub for lots of ideas on how to explain Coronavirus to little children and lots of other things.
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Need to talk - Covid & shared care 3 weeks 2 days ago #107318

Bill337 wrote: hi,

i am in similar situation as you. i live with mum who's very elderly. have not seen my kids for 3 months. due to have them for weekend this coming friday. i have had hayfever trouble too. calms down after i take tablets. its possible you may not have covid. could be just nasty bout of hay fever. i think your doing the right thing by taking precautions for yourself and your child. try not to worry, and can focus on resuming your shared care as soon as both of you feel better and recover.


Thank you, I'm glad that someone else can understand this bizarre situation.

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Need to talk - Covid & shared care 3 weeks 2 days ago #107319

January wrote: Hi IntrovertedDad, I think all the feelings you are experiencing are completely normal, of course you would feel sad and gutted to not be seeing your son over Fathers day, you were just begininning to get things back to normal (whatever that is!) so don't feel bad for how you are feeling. Perhaps you could talk to your son and explain to him that you are not well and you can count down the days or sleeps together of when you will see him again (assuming that you will be ok after the quarantine of 14 days) If you have regular contact with him on the phone/facetime, you can still talk to him, read stories or even play games so that he knows you are still there and still love him - which I am sure he knows. Keep going, you have managed 3 months, its just a tiny bit longer. Have a look at www.fegans.org.uk/family-hub for lots of ideas on how to explain Coronavirus to little children and lots of other things.


Thank you. I did have regular video calls during the time away from each other. I hope that whenever I get the test done it will be negative and I won't need to isolate anymore.

I shall look into the link you have given.

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Need to talk - Covid & shared care 3 weeks 2 days ago #107321

IntrovertedDad wrote:

Bill337 wrote: hi,

i am in similar situation as you. i live with mum who's very elderly. have not seen my kids for 3 months. due to have them for weekend this coming friday. i have had hayfever trouble too. calms down after i take tablets. its possible you may not have covid. could be just nasty bout of hay fever. i think your doing the right thing by taking precautions for yourself and your child. try not to worry, and can focus on resuming your shared care as soon as both of you feel better and recover.


Thank you, I'm glad that someone else can understand this bizarre situation.


yes its a very sensitive situation. if kids go back to mum with a runny nose, then she will suspend contact.

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Need to talk - Covid & shared care 3 weeks 2 days ago #107326

I’m surprised that such things are allowed to happen. Children will get ill. If I were to criticise her whenever my son’s not 100% in good health at handover, that would be outrageous.

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Last Edit: by IntrovertedDad.
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