• Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Setting up standing order?

Setting up standing order? 6 years 8 months ago #23158

Hi,

I have been seperated from my ex-wife for about 2 years now and she wont give me her bank details so that I can set up a standing order for additional payments, besides CSA, to help with birthday parties and school uniforms. She thinks that having these details will enable me to gain access to her account? I know this is not true but she won't believe anything I say and is using this against me, saying that Im not being resposible by making any additinal payments.

Any help would be very grateful.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Setting up standing order? 6 years 8 months ago #23166

Hi there,

Why don't you pay her via cheque for any additional payments then its you will have records.

Darren

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk moderator

I'm not a legal proffesional and don't have any legal experience other than going through court myself. but offer my experience to help others

Re: Setting up standing order? 6 years 8 months ago #23207

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Away
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 10634
  • Thank you received: 1626
Have a word with the CSA to check that any additional payments you make through them would be passed on to her - I'm pretty sure they will be. Not only that, but you could then be classed as being 'in credit' with the CSA - it certainly wouldn't do any harm.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Setting up standing order? 6 years 8 months ago #23223

Thank you both for your thoughts.

I'm unable to get a cheque book due to my poor credit rating. I have asked about a bankers draft but these cost £10 each time and would have to take this off what I'd like to go to the children.

Thanks for the suggestion about the CSA. I intially thought I could make additonal payments but this is not true. I found this out very quickly when the CSA told me that there was almost £800 of overpayments not able to be payed to my ex, when I was in between jobs. Grr

Any more thoughts would be helpful

Cheers

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Setting up standing order? 6 years 8 months ago #23230

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Away
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 10634
  • Thank you received: 1626
I'd check again with your bank - a poor credit rating shouldn't affect your ability to get a cheque book, especially since cheque guarantee cards no longer exist, as the bank can always bounce a cheque if there aren't the funds to cover it.

However, I would say now (since the CSA can't accept overpayments - thanks for that information, I wasn't aware of that) that your best bet is to open a savings account and put the money into that for when your children are older. That way you also know the money goes to them and not your ex, and you can tell your children what you are doing.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Setting up standing order? 2 weeks 5 days ago #100817

Try paying via cheques so that you will have records of transactions.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Setting up standing order? 2 weeks 5 days ago #100825

Ashworth wrote: Hi,

I have been seperated from my ex-wife for about 2 years now and she wont give me her bank details so that I can set up a standing order for additional payments, besides CSA, to help with birthday parties and school uniforms. She thinks that having these details will enable me to gain access to her account? I know this is not true but she won't believe anything I say and is using this against me, saying that Im not being resposible by making any additinal payments.

Any help would be very grateful.


hi, why are you being so nice? lol. why bother when she does not trust you. many dads have moved onto CMS after getting constantly hassled for more money. dont worry about additional payments. better to just stick to whatever CMS decided for you. when i signed up to CMS, they got hold of her bank details and passed to me, so i can make payments.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Setting up standing order? 1 week 5 days ago #100938

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Away
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 10634
  • Thank you received: 1626
tell her to set up a bank account especially for this, different bank. That way you can't get access to her main bank details, if she's that paranoid.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Setting up standing order? 1 week 5 days ago #100941

If she doesn't believe you then have you tried telling her to speak to the bank directly to find out if you can access her account from what Im assuming is only her account number and sort code. Once they tell her it's not possible then that could make her at ease?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Setting up standing order? 1 week 4 days ago #100946

Keep paying via CMS the required amount they tell you.

Any extra you want to pay to the children set up in a separate bank account and pay in to that as little or as much as you want....that way when the kids are with you, you can dip in to that to pay for days out...new clothes...toys...special things...or you can just leave it there to build up for a day in the future when they need something bigger...holiday...university...car....deposit for house etc...
title the account as children's savings.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Setting up standing order? 1 week 4 days ago #100956

Guys, if you're paying extra on top of what CMS say then can that work in your favour when it comes to contact arrangement or future CMS disputes?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Setting up standing order? 1 week 3 days ago #100967

hi,

no do not bother with extra payments on top of CMS. that is all unnacounted for, and when you have future disputes involving CMS, they wont care about how much extra your paying to the ex. just stick to what they tell you to pay.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Page:
  • 1
Moderators: Samantha Downes