Good afternoon everyone hope you all are well.
I was going to go down the legal route to get some advice before i found this site, fingers crossed someone is able to give me some insight before having to go down the legal route.
I have been separated from my ex partner since last September and we have a 5 year old daughter together.
My ex moved some seven months ago and now i have to travel around 180 miles to go up and see my daughter. I have her ever other weekend which puts me in the 52 days plus bracket.
I currently pay my ex £294 per month which was worked out via the CSA calculator where i earn just over 34, 000 per year.
To try and cut down wear and tear on my car i try to stay around where my daughter is now living by staying in hotels whilst i have her.
The separation with my ex partner is not amicable what so ever as she still remains hostile towards me (i asked for the divorce as i was no longer happy in the relationship). She makes no effort to help out by meeting me half way or even having any consideration regarding my travel expenses.
I lost everything in the separation and i am trying to get back on my feet by putting some money together for a mortgage so my daughter and me can have a house we call our own.
I find it a real struggle to do this with hotel costs for the month tallying over £100 and fuel costs in total £150 plus. I even have to buy her separate clothes which she wears whilst with me on my weekends with her.
I have tried to approach my ex to explain about this costings but she has no interest in listening.
What kind of options do i have if any? do CSA take into account my hotel/fuel/clothing costs?
Can i pay for an updated break ground on what i would be paying if i decided to go through CSA? The reason for wanting this is that way i can at least submit a copy to my ex partner and explain that if their is no form of compromise then i will have no alternative but to go via this route.
I find it extremely stressful at the moment and very challenging to try and resolve this dilemma with my ex, so any advice or thoughts from anyone would be greatly received.
Thanks
Dave
Its the CMS not the CSA.
If you have used the CMS calculator here: https://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/
And then used the outcome figure but not done it through the CMS then you can only communicate with her.
However if you do open a case ( either parent can do so ) then the calculation will be the same ( unless either of you made a mistake or your income on HMRC for some reason appears higher/lower ).
Once the case is open then you can read the following:
So if you have a case open you can then apply for a variation as above for the travel costs. ( You will need to double check detail for exactly what you can and can not apply for in terms of costs )
You will need to pay to open the case - but as long as you pay the prescribed amount on time there will be no additional fees - but you are relying on the CMS for a calculation and variations not your ex.
Obviously over the long term negotiating straight with your ex or relying on the CMS could have pro's or con's for you personally.
If there is a breakdown in communication between the two of you then it might be better to get the CMS to handle it and then abide by it.
Hello Gooner7130@live.com
If you do have a family-based arrangement in place with your ex-partner, you do not have any set rules to follow regarding what is included in your situation.
Negotiation does play a large part of a family-based arrangement and Child Maintenance Options do have some supporting tools on their website at https://www.cmoptions.org that might help you both come to a more reasonable agreement by incorporating your tavel costs.
Their Talking About Money Guide and Discussion Guide are full of information about how you can plan your conversation with your ex-partner and how to negotiate your agreement. They also point out the financial costs involved in raising a child and can give you both new ideas about what can be included in your agreement.
You already seem to be aware of their Online Calculator, this is available to calculate an amount of maintenance that the Government consider a reasonable payment. This will not take your travel expenses into account, however, it can provide you with a good starting point for your negotiations.
If you are able to negotiate your agreement, you can then record this on their Family-based Arrangement Form. Although it is not a legally binding document it can put your agreement on a more formal basis. You can also agree a renewal date for your agreement in case either of you have a change in circumstances in the future.
The information that DavidCahnnon has post is correct about the Child Maintenance Service. If you are unable to come to an amicable decision with your ex-partner you do have the option of using their service and making an application.
The Child Maintenance Service will calculate your payment in a similar way to the Online Calculator that you have already used. However, if you would like them to take into account the additional expenses that you incurr having contact with your daughter, you would need to speak them directly as they do deal with each application individually.
The Child Maintenance Service have now introduced charges for using their services and there is a non-refundable application fee of £20, however, the best way to avoid charges altogether is to try and continue with your family-based arrangement, if that is possible.
The Child Maintenance Service do have a leaflet that goes into detail about how they calculate their payments and the following link with direct you to it https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/325219/how-we-work-out-child-maintenance.pdf.
If you do decide to ask the Child Maintenance Service to arrange your child maintenance for you in the future, your responsibility to pay will start from around the point that they contact your ex-partner, after your application. For further information about putting in place a statutory arrangement and the fees involved with this, you will need to contact Child Maintenance Options yourself.
You may also be interested to know the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a website, 'Sorting out Separation'. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/
For more information and for a more personalised service, you may wish to visit the Child Maintenance Options website yourself.
Regards
William
At a very quick calculation, I reckon your £250 per month outlay would potentially knock about £20 per month off your maintenance calculation, so if she won't agree to this, then a £20 fee to open a case with CMS would be a good investment.