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TOPIC: Just before court i further need advice

Just before court i further need advice 11 months 5 days ago #88665

Bascially i told my ex i was doing a court order as i get fed up of her threatening me and sending me abusive messages, about i never going see my kids again, or if i do ditates to me what time they have to be back, who they cant hang around with etc. Well this cause even more arguments she said if i did the court procedure i never see my kids again. Isnt the court order so i have a right to see my kids, is she being deluded? I never have the boys on there birthdays or xmas day isnt that another thing court can decide, just dont want to waste my money if it gets me no where. After alot of hassle and arguing i finally getting my boys this weekend, but tbh the arging and abusive text i get jsut to see my kids is draining me.

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Just before court i further need advice 11 months 4 days ago #88668

  • Mojo
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Hi there

A court order is a legally binding document; it also contains a warning notice that it must be complied with and there are penalties if the order needs to be enforced.

That said, there are a small percentage of ex partners that will breach the orders and force further litigation, in these few cases contact continues to be thwarted because of the implacable hostility and for this reason there can be continued disruption, with the children stuck in the middle.

Where there is little communication or cooperation between separated parents, it's alsways best to go for an order which contains a lot of definition, including instructions about birthdays, Christmas and school holidays, some also lay down specific days/overnights and times so that there can be no ambiguity, which could allow the other parent to frustrate contact within the vagueness of the order.

The courts are supposed to be tightening up on breaches of court orders, but some areas of the country are slow to catch up and some courts are still dragging their feet and allowing far too much non compliance before they will act. You will read a few stories here where this has happened, but it's always good to remember that cases such as these are a small minority and for most, court orders are complied with and regular contact is established.

If there's a lot of bitterness between separated parents, it's important to understand that no amount of litigation is going to make that relationship better, it will remain strained, but a defined order should help to ensure that contact with the other parent is minimal in such cases. Preferable is to try and build bridges with the other parent at some point, as this is what is best for the children, but that's not always possible.

All the best

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