its a shame when the child becomes just money with exes but I'm counting the days I can finally tell her to fuck off and have nothing to do with the old boot. I could never be as petty as her but God she deserves it lol
I dont know about you but sometimes I don't think about it I just pay it like any other bill and some days it feels like I'm in jail for 18 years or even (16) so 13 years left for me sounds alot better than 18 .
My dad used to pay it he said when we got to 15 the last few years of paying drags lol
I've been controlled for years byy ex but one thing she could never do was get money out of me, I've always done whatever was possible to not pay the ex, I don't agree with it at all when the ex is a evil person and stops you from seeing the child.
My reason being the child has a right to be in both parents lives. And to receive love and the life of both parents.
If one parent chooses to remove the child from the other parents life that parent has chose to deny the child of the other parent and all the benifits of having that parent. That includes money.
That parent can't then expect to get money. If she's struggling.. No problem let dad take some of the pressure he's willing too. But my experience is mum wants dad to vanish but wants dad's financial support.
Mum is struggling, a good mum would share the child and dad would do his part including financially.
Iv had debates with male friends who've said mate I'm out of order I should pay regardless.
Il provide for my kids il provide 100% for them even in their 20's, I provide for my son who is 20. everything I do is for my kids. But I will not give my money which is really my time to a woman who wants it. If she can't afford our daughter fine send her to me fairly lessen her financial burden of having children. If she was decent I'd even have given her money even more so if she was single cos I see it at my duty to look after my children and their mother. My dad even told me to give my ex a house cos he did not know how evil she was and it was normal to him to see it as duty to look after the mother as well.
Moment the ex gets with another man it's then his duty to provide for her. If she Denys dad of his child her new mug provides for her child as well. Might not be politically correct but to me it's correct.
Cos Its my duty to provide but if I'm stopped being a dad it's her doing and whatever happens is not what I want. I'd rather have nothing than give a penny to the ex even more so if she's got a new man.
Like you give ex money say £200 beer might be bought with it for her new man to drink lol nah nah not happening.
She's taken your child thrn she wants to take your money then she gets a new man and he uses your money albeit indirectly lol
I know how I feel and what I mean lol
Nothing goes to the ex.
I'll give everything to my kids though.
I agree the system is wrong. My sons ex has stopped all contact, so the amount being paid to his EX has been increased. It was not his decision to stop seeing his son, it was the EX. As soon as the amount was increased the EX went out and purchased a new car on HP saying she can now afford the payments on a top of the range car!!
I believe that MOST dads want to provide for their children (for life not just 18 years).. but DO NOT want to provide for their EX's new lifestyle. I still help out my children when they are short of cash or have an unexpected bill and they are in their twenties - thats what parents do...
I agree if THE Ex has made the decision to stop contact with your child, that is their decision and should not be given money to do as they please with. The system should be that if contact is stopped you should be made to pay towards the cost of your child/children and proof that your wages goes towards that cost only.
TBH I can't ever see that happening and Dads are going to be funding EX's lifestyles, New Cars and holidays with new boyfriends for years to come.. and the child will be walking around in second hand clothes and shoes.
Nannykit it makes a refreshing change to see someone agreeing with me regarding not paying csa.
No one ever agrees and I'm apparently out of order.
Money to me is my time skill pressure etc being exchanged for this thing called money.
If the ex stops contact she's basically saying she doesn't need the father to be in the child's life... Fine your not getting his stinking money then lol
Also if the ex had been a proper partner we wouldn't have broken up and she'd have access to the fathers money as a family unit. She chose to destroy the family unit, she chose to deny father of child. She's then chose to deny herself of any benefits the father could give.
Typical my ex..we live in a rented house no car no money while u prance about in your cars weekends away... I say yep u gave it up your own doing. Not my choice u and daughter lose out, daughter doesn't need to lose out so again your doing. You are to blame for everything bad so don't whinge.
My daughter now has no contact with her mother. I've not stopped contact its my daughters decision. If I needed her mothers support in any form including financially I'd have to persuade my daughter to make up with her mother so we as parents share the responsibility.
If my ex had been decent and not the evil woman she has been I wouldn't dream of applying for child support from her now she has no contact with her daughter.
But because I absolutely despise her and wish her all pain in the world I'm going to apply for child support. Been meaning to do it for months now lol
I was lucky cos I've got family who took over my business and they provided for me and my family cos I had no income lol soon as my son was old enough everything went on his name and he provided for the family cos I still didn't have a income lol now iv got my daughter iv got the business back on my name and I provide for the family with my income lol
I can't imagine how it must feel for men to be forced to pay csa and pay out their ex wives in divorce..if the ex is evil. If the ex is good and the man is wrong he should pay