• Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Prove I'm the Primary carer?lead parent

Prove I'm the Primary carer?lead parent 5 days 16 hours ago #97829

|Hi All,

I imagine there are several who have been in this ( well at least something like) situation and I could really use a leg up here.

I am recently divorced after 17 years of marriage. We had one daughter now aged 17.

When she was born it was mutually agreed that I would be the stay at home parent and my spouse would work. It worked fine as they were paid a very good salary and financially there were no issues. I claimed child benefits and this was never an issue. The monies were paid into a joint account.

I came out well from the divorce with a majority of equity and a decent lump of pension though at present we BOTH still live in the family home as neither can afford to move out until our current home is sold.

We had a verbal agreement that my ex and I would both pay 50% towards anything our daughter needed, something that my spouse has since refused to do.

I had a chat with the CMS who said I had a case, contacted my ex and then informed me it was very tricky us both living in the same home ( which i kind of get) We have a court order demanding that we both pay an equal percentage of out monthly salary ( i restarted work in october) into an account to cover bills etc. The Child benefit is also paid into the same account.

So I tried to change the account where the CB is paid to that of my daughter based on the fact the money is for her, and was told that my ex had now applied for benefit as they are the primary carer/lead parent. I am not sure when this was done, but it was certainly done AFTER the CMS were in touch.

So all benefits are now stopped pending that we other have to fill in some forms. I cant find any of these forms online ( I like to be a little prepared) and neither do I have any idea as to what Proof i have to supply.

I am down as emergency contact at the DR , dentist and school, oh and I had to call the police a short while ago as my ex was physically abusive to my daughter whilst i was out. The police made them leave for the house for the evening as my daughter did not want to press charges. This is registered by way of a case number both with the police and the Social services department.

The question is, what do i have to prove in order to remain primary carr or Lead parent and how likely is it that my ex can suddenly start getting benefits instead of me. The CMS say if they become lead paraent then I could be liable for maintenance. I have played fair the entire divorce and the system seems to work against me.
Please help.

Thanks

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Prove I'm the Primary carer?lead parent 5 days 7 hours ago #97841

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 7838
  • Thank you received: 1640
Hi there

As you’ve found out, it’s very difficult to sort this out with you both still living under the same roof. Has it been decided who your daughter will live with once the family home is sold?

The kind of proof you would need is usually who address the child may be registered at for school, drs etc, a court order that states the child lives with you, or who does the majority of activities of daily life, such as preparing the meals, laundry, dropping to and from school... these are difficult to prove with both living under the same roof.

Could you get a letter from the school that states it’s you that they deal with perhaps? That said, the school may be reluctant to get involved.

Unfortunately the police involvement wouldn’t have any bearing on this decision I don’t think.

If she is awarded the child benefit, she will be in a position to claim child maintenance from you, but it also works the other way around.

Best of luck

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Prove I'm the Primary carer?lead parent 5 days 7 hours ago #97842

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 7838
  • Thank you received: 1640
... just to mention, I’ve deleted your duplicate thread, it can get confusing if responses are running on both.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

  • Page:
  • 1
Moderators: Samantha Downes