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TOPIC: Legally proving nights spent with Dad

Legally proving nights spent with Dad 1 week 4 days ago #99955

Good afternoon All,

Me and my ex have 2 daughters (7 and 5 now) and have been seperated from my ex for 3 years now .
The girls have spent on average with me over the 3 year period 3.07 nights per week.
Have been paying maintenance in line with recommendation from the calculator on gov website ... .all good!

I now have a 3rd daughter from my 'new' relationship and salary has changed slightly due to job move.

Obviously maintenance payments have adjusted due to new situation and I'm again paying in line with calculator.
My Ex isnt happy with the reduction in payments so has opened a case with CSM.
However the Ex has told the CSM that our daughters spend 0-1 nights per week with me.

The CSM have informed me that when there is a disagreement on this figure, they have to default to 52 nights per year until i can leagally prove otherwise the greater amount.

How do I do that? Other than trying to get retrospective court order or somehting in place?

Any help or info form you guys would be greatly appreciated.

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Legally proving nights spent with Dad 1 week 4 days ago #99958

You will probably find that the only evidence they will accept is a court order. This will cost a fortune to get through, so maybe it is more cost effective to just go with the facts that they spend less than 52 nights a week with you and pay on that basis.

If you fight what you will probably find is that your ex partner will stop your kids staying with you to get more money. This isn't ideal as you will miss out on time with the kids.

Although it is totally wrong and unfair, sometime it is best to swallow a bit of extra expense so you can do what is most important, and that is spending the time with your kids.

Is there any way that you can increase your pension contributions so that you are above the 25% threshold?

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Legally proving nights spent with Dad 1 week 3 days ago #99966

hi Banana,

Yoda made some good points. i think you should fight for what is right. you have another child from a new relationship, thus more expenses. its unfair on you. but it all depends on your financial situation. i can't put a price on my kids. i spent £4,000 to go through court. it can definitely be done for less than this. was not that painful. lasted from end of january to mid-may. I will probably do that again in a few years time if i want more time with my kids. money comes and goes so am not too bothered.

**I'd like to add that i didnt go to court because of CMS. it was because ex denying any overnight contact with my kids.

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Last Edit: by Bill337.

Legally proving nights spent with Dad 1 week 3 days ago #99980

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If contact is going well and this is the only issue, perhaps try to sit down and have a chat with your ex to get this sorted?

Is it a significant decrease in payments? Is there a compromise to be had?

It sounds like contact has been going well until now? Why let things spiral?

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Legally proving nights spent with Dad 1 week 2 days ago #100012

banana,

use this CMS calculator to work out how much you should be paying, taking into account all the nights you spend with your child. then compare that to what you are paying at the moment.

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Legally proving nights spent with Dad 1 week 1 day ago #100023

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... I remember we had a member, going back a few years, who needed to try and prove the number of nights the children stayed over, he made use of his smartphone to take photos of the children, ready for bed in their pjs, as phones record date and time on photos, he was able to show that they were staying over. I seem to remember he was successful.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Legally proving nights spent with Dad 5 days 12 hours ago #100052

How do you communicate, verbally or in writing? My ex was doing similar tricks and CMS wrote to say they were changing to her version of events, where I was supposedly having her less days, unless I had any evidence to the contrary.

She had separately emailed me stating that if I did not agree to some of her demands, we would keep to the X days arrangements that we have over the last two years(I was trying to get more). This confirmed what we had been doing and CMS took this as the evidence they needed and kept it as it was.

So she was the downfall of her own lies! Perhaps you have something that can be used or generate an email that could result in a similar response, where she accidentally confirms what you are actually doing.

Good luck.

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Legally proving nights spent with Dad 5 days 9 hours ago #100056

Hi HRabbit,

Thanks for the words.
We only communicate in writting (I learned hard lessons in the first few months) so fortunately i do have multiple sources of emails / texts / whatsApp messages / excel spread sheets etc covering the time which I should be able to upload to the new CMS portal and ask them to check.

Its reassuring to hear that you got your case sorted this way .... inspriration to fight the good fight

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Legally proving nights spent with Dad 5 days 9 hours ago #100057

Thanks Mojo, thats my plan of attack i think. CMS are going to have a lot of documents and attachments to sitf through :)

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Legally proving nights spent with Dad 5 days 9 hours ago #100058

Hi Yoda94,

Thanks for the info and help.
Swallowing the bitter pill is what I fear

CMS have informed me that unless a successful appeal my financial side of the case will not be reviewed for 12 months.
I thought I had to have a 25% change (for better or good) in my net salary in order for a legitimate review to be undertaken?
Pension contributions can be upp'ed significantly by me, so its certainly worth unedrstanding better ....

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Legally proving nights spent with Dad 5 days 9 hours ago #100060

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Hopefully, you’ll find enough to incriminate her! Best of luck and keep us posted.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Legally proving nights spent with Dad 5 days 8 hours ago #100062

Hi Yoda94,

Thanks for the info and help.
Swallowing the bitter pill is what I fear

CMS have informed me that unless a successful appeal my financial side of the case will not be reviewed for 12 months.
I thought I had to have a 25% change (for better or good) in my net salary in order for a legitimate review to be undertaken?
Pension contributions can be upp'ed significantly by me, so its certainly worth unedrstanding better ....

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