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TOPIC: Non molestation order

Non molestation order 8 months 1 week ago #103572

  • ND1998
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Morning all

Hoping for a little advice please

I split from my ex about 6 weeks ago, she has since had me arrested for DV and cohesive and controlling behaviour. I was released with no further action as she couldn't prove her lies.

I then got a knock on the door and was served with an emergency non molestation order as she was in fear of her life :x

What's funny is she was so scared she decided to be at her mum's when I picked our son up despite me asking for her not to be there. (before I knew about the order) then there again when I dropped him back after the order was served . I rang her mum and told her to meet me down the road as her daughter was there and shouldn't be.
My mum then wrote to her mum saying she couldn't understand why my ex was there if she was so scared if me and asked the mother to ensure my ex wasn't there in future (I am 21 by the way).

I am thinking of writing a prepared statement for the hearing. Are there any templates anyone could share with me please? I have no evidence as such but can dispute most of what she has stated and shown that she in fact has been a nightmare to me.

Does this statement need to be sent to the court prior to the hearing? Should I also send it to her defence solicitors before the hearing?
Im ok taking an undertaking as I have no wish to see her ever or contact her. I just want to see my son and can do this through her mother. I do not have the funds to fight it properly.

I have been seeing a doctor for anxiety and am now on medication due to her. I also have severe adult ADHD.

Any advice would be much appreciated

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Non molestation order 8 months 1 week ago #103576

Hi there, my ex did the same to me. If you call the court, they should be able to provide you with an email address where you can submit a position statement.

My ex refused an undertaking, so i had the order placed on me on a no admissions basis and no facts or findings made against me, it still pi**ed me off though, as i was not allowed to see my kids at all for those six months.

If your ex is being represented, you can discuss an undertaking with them, if you feel it is all untrue, then you can contest it and a fact finding hearing would be required. The most important thing is not to expose yourself to any potential issues. If you drop your son off at her mums and your ex is there, she could pull you up for a breach of the order, so you are doing the right thing asking to meet up the road. Just make it clear you only want to see your son, and nothing else
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Non molestation order 8 months 1 week ago #103580

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Thanks for your reply and help

My ex is being represented, do I just call them and say that is what I am looking at doing and discuss my reasoning?

Thanks again

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Non molestation order 8 months 1 week ago #103581

It really depends. I am sure if you submit anything to court, they will share this with her solicitor.

The issue I faced was if i contested it, I would have to wait months to see my kids again, I offered an undertaking but refused. Not contesting it was the worst thing I ever did. My ex said if I have the non mol on me, she will allow me to see the kids at a contact centre until we have been through the court to discuss child arrangements, but she then changed her mind and said I couldn't. She knew i could prove her wrong, used the kids as bait and I fell for it. i would have been better off contesting it.

You will have plenty of time at court to discuss this with her solicitor, the judges seem to prefer if some sort of agreement can be made before hand to speed things up. If she accepts an undertaking, then great.
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Non molestation order 8 months 1 week ago #103586

Hi
The courts should have given you a schedule to follow for service etc etc . If you haven’t received one call the court as they are swamped and takes them weeks to post stuff out .
In family court it’s a lot less formal . My ex just put the case number and kids names on her stuff and there’s wasn’t an issue . Don’t pally up with the Exs solicitor .
IN terms of your statement just explain why the ex’s allegations are false etc . If she’s accused you say of being outside her house and you can show you were at work etc then you put down that ....
as the ex is represented and you’re not they are responsible for producing the bundle
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Non molestation order 1 month 5 days ago #109140

I'm in the same position, mirror image as you.
But I went to court my ex on Legal Aid so holds the cards but since I walked out my ex has made a statement of an undertaking if she defaults back to court she goes will not go down well.
My ex has used the kids against me and lied so much even (Through WApp) keep all correspondence nearly 7 months I'm on a4 (47 pages 80% of her trying to provoke me in which I have not taken the bait.
My advice keep it simple.

The truth will come out in the end.

Best of luck

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Non molestation order 1 month 5 days ago #109141

Please remember to fight you have to have the funds backing behind you, Legal Aid no problems if not will cost as much as 12 thousand and you're in Debt before you blink, so tread carefully.

Even you say your ex lied to get the order against you, the Judge will usually go with the order and does not read whatever you have written but make sure that you get her to make a statement of the undertaking and my advise ride the order out keep well away until complete then start the process to see children will be difficult but your get through this your not alone.

A lot of women do this and the court's will 99% of the time reside with your Ex us men really get a raw deal.

All the Best

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