I have a rather unpleasant situation to describe so will keep it very brief.
I was with my ex-girlfriend for several years, and we were not having full intercourse for most of that time although we did engage in other activity. In her desperation to have a child, she chose to self-impregnate using my semen through a method I won't share here (to reiterate, we were not having intercourse). She became pregnant and we broke up of course. As you can imagine, this has been an incredibly traumatic experience from the moment I found out she was pregnant through to finding out how it happened. So I have been going through counselling since then and have been using anti-depressants to maintain some normality. She had the child and is now claiming child support through the CMS - she did not attempt to discuss this with me first.
Anybody else in a similar boat? I don't want to share too much on this open forum, in case it is read and any responses used against me, but keen to hear about your stories - feel free to direct message me.
I have no idea what to suggest here? You will be classed as the kids father, and I have no idea how you can prove you did not have sex with her either and she did this herself, I am still trying to think how on earth she managed it? I imagine she will still be able to claim child maintenance from you too.
Sorry, I am at a loss as to who to direct you to to discuss this.
What you write sounds the height of deception on her part.
You must feel utterly betrayed.
I can imagine a few ways how this could have been achieved but I believe you will need proof.
Do your ground work first to truly establish your situation as being the father. For brevity I shall use bullet points:-
* seek confirmation that the child is yours and use a laboratory for testing that is recognized by the courts,
* go to a consultant obstetrician for a consultation or some such expert in conceiving and tell him / her exactly what you and she were doing and if this could result in a pregnancy.
I personally would ask for a private consultation where you pay.
Don't be embarrassed, they have heard it all before.
* if you have any texts, recordings, emails ect. of her admitting to self impregnation without your permission save them as they could be used as evidence further "down the line,"
* if she has opened a case with the C.M.S. I would pay what they deem you should pay for the child.
Do not hand over money to her, make sure you have evidence of payment such as bank statements which stipulate Child Maintenance Payments to her solely.
If you delay / miss paying on time what the C.M.S. calculate, they will demand you pay the arrears which could amount to a sizeable figure if you do not pay.
If you are not the father you should be reimbursed when proof has been established.
Probably for information purposes only, you could tell them paternity is questionable, they may even direct you to a recognized laboratory for testing.
The first thing is to establish you are the father.
Secondly as mentioned, seek clarification from a medical consultant of the method/s she used for self impregnation and the percentage of the success rate.
What results come from the above two mentioned things will then give you the opportunity to choose which road you wish to pursue.
My strong opinion would be to consult a solicitor once you know whether you are the father or not.
Thanks both. I have all the evidence needed to prove how this was done so I will absolutely be contesting. Several potential civil / criminal claims against the mother but I want to avoid that. I really don’t want to draw anything out. I want to move on with my life.