I have a daughter who's just turned 4 and means the world to me. I split with her mother 2 years ago and moved back to my mums house which is a 2 hour drive from where my daughter lives (I originally only moved down there for her). For 2 years I have had my daughter with me at my mums house 3 days a week without fail!
I have worked hard and saved for a mortgage which I get my keys in 2 weeks time. My ex has recently taken me to CSA out of the blue for no apparent reason, we have been perfect sharing parental responsibility and I help her out with ballet fees and clothes etc. I have given more financially to my daughter in the past 6 months alone, than my ex has her whole life.
The money I have to pay to my ex is £360 a month direct pay which is extortionate amount for 1 day extra a week where she is at nursery (FOC) anyway. Especially when it comes to my mortgage and all new bills coming in at the end of the month I don't know how I am going to manage.
I explained to my ex that if she took me to csa that I will be forced to work overtime at work to survive to which her reply was "that's none of my business". So in turn she has taken me to csa on the back of my comment and I'm confident she has told them I'll be having her 0 nights.
This is all very unfair on me and other dads that have there children almost half the amount of time a week to the mother and have to pay such a significant amount which will only go towards the mother and not the child in most cases.
Is there anyway that I can reduce payments so that I don't need to work as much overtime and see my daughter more? Do they take into account my mortgage coming up? Pension?
I have recently created an email for my daughter and I send her emails. The only person hurting over this is my daughter and it's breaking me, all because of money and greed. I have offered to have my daughter full time if she is struggling and she said she is not struggling, she just "wants what's fair".
yes its not fair the way she contacted CMS. but they are allowed to do this, even if you were paying her as a private arrangement. working over-time will cause more issues for you next year. CMS will review your income every year, and they take over-time into account, as well as things like company car allowance. if you pay into a pension, CMS will give you a reduction.
have you received paperwork from CMS? should mention a section about shared care/overnights with child. if its zero, then you should ring them and correct them. but problem is if your ex disputes and lies to them about number of nights the kids stay with you, then CMS will put it down as 1 night a week. only way to get that issue sorted properly is to get a court order. also if paperwork work mentions any arreas, would be good idea and contact them, telling them you will struggle to pay, and see if they can help about that.