Hi, I’m just looking for a bit of advice. I split up with an ex girlfriend 14 years ago when our son was 2. She then moved on with her life leaving our son to live with me. She didn’t see him for 4 years and then on and off for the other 10. I have never asked her for a penny nor received any money from her in all that time.
Time moved on and I have two other children with my now ex wife. I have two girls age 11,6 whom both pretty much live with me full time but I do co-parent with my ex wife without any issues or disputes.
Earlier this year I had a lapse of judgment and tried to end my life. My son 15, turning 16 next week took it hard and decide to go stay at his mums. He’s been their for 8 months now and I received a child maintenance letter through the door. I take it they wouldn’t take into account the lack of financial support from the mother prior to this?
Do I just be the bigger person and pay? I’m not happy about it as I feel like I’ve been taken advantage of as I have never let my children go without. I feel like I’m not being punished for being a supportive parent all those years.
It's unfair, but actd is right. The fact that you are financially responsible for two younger children, should come into the equation and reduce what you might have been asked to pay if you only had your son.
Depending on your relationship with ex and employment status if you really don't want to pay her full amount then consider paying max amount into occupational pension... Will soon drop your payments to her..
If you only pay into a private pension then can max out but need to provide proof of payments..
Whilst it may seem unfair, when kids were with you you provided financial support, now with ex you provide financial support.. What your ex did or didn't do is out of your control so don't focus on that..