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TOPIC: My residence being challenged by baby's mum

My residence being challenged by baby's mum 1 month 6 days ago #111841

I had an affair and a baby was born. When my wife found out we seperated. I moved back in with parents. We decided not to divorce for the sake of kids.

I do not see the baby and have a personal agreement with both my wife who wanted financial independence and the other woman. I agreed to this instantly and have never missed a payment and pay £75 a month over the calculator.

After a year of argument my wife and I are getting on much better. We spend a lot of time together and the I spend a lot of time there and the kids spend a lot of time with me.

The other woman does not believe I am still at my mum and dads. And to add to the complexity my wife has just had a very serious diagnosis and I have told the other woman that I will be caring for her and looking after the kids more. They do not stay with me ever. She is pissed of that we all spent christmas and new ywar together and.regularly go out together, grandparents almost always included

The other woman want to go to CMS to have me investigated as she wants more money for me living with my wife. She has said the CMS have told her the process would be very intrusive to me.

Any advice or experience welcome.

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My residence being challenged by baby's mum 1 month 6 days ago #111842

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to be honest, I can't see there's much you can do. She can open a case at any time with CMS and you will be assessed on your earnings. If you are living with your wife again, then the fact that you have children with her will reduce your assessment. If you aren't living with her, then it might be worth considering her also opening a CMS claim against you, that will effectively split the maintenance more evenly between all of your children, though can't remember the formula for this.

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My residence being challenged by baby's mum 1 month 6 days ago #111843

Thanks for the quick reply.

I am not with my wife but she doesnt believe me. She is pissed off because I see them all the time, I want to repair my marriage and that I didnt move in on my own.

What does a CMS investigation look like? I have legally changed all of my details to my mum and dads. The only financial tie we have is the mortgage which we kept because I dont think my wide would have got one on her own. I dont know how else to prove this other than a tour of my aock drawer

This bit it ridiculous but the latest bout of threats came after I turned down the offer of sex.

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My residence being challenged by baby's mum 1 month 6 days ago #111844

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Hopefully, others here will help you on the CMS side, but I don't think it's any more than forms and they'll got to HMRC for your income - if you're paying over the amount the CMS calculate, then you don't really have much to worry about. I would speak to your wife about wanting to open a claim - as far as I recall, the maximum you pay is 20% of gross for 3 children, and if it's by 2 different mothers, then it's split between the two mothers - it's that proportion I'm not sure of, and I'd say that it's worth investigating this option. Anything you wish to pay above the CMS calculation is entirely voluntary, and you don't have to pay both equally for voluntary contributions.

I don't think CMS would question the fact that you are living apart from your wife (having a child with another woman would pretty much back that up in a lot of cases), if it came to it, you could look into a legal separation, but if you do go down the route of your wife opening a CMS claim, that would also imply that you don't live there.
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I am not qualified and any information given should be checked with a professional.

Whatever your situation Zoom counselling with qualified counsellors can help. You might like to be in touch for your secondary school aged children, or it could be you need support for yourself. To find out about costs or whether you qualify for funding (for example if you are on a low income or benefits) leave your details on this link and we will be in touch:

www.dad.info/online-zoom-counselling

My residence being challenged by baby's mum 1 month 5 days ago #111846

Hi Eyes

Are you employed or self employed?

It's not intrusive at all, it's no different to applying for benefits etc.. The CMS will ask you about your income, your current situation, any other children etc..

If you are currently paying over then there is every possibility that your payments will drop.

Where you live also has no impact on the amount that you pay.. CMS is just a % of your income, factors in any other children that you have, how often the children stay with you etc..

Have you used the online calculator? It explains what is included in the calculation..

I would continue to pay what you are.. Even explain to her that if she opens a claim that you will ONLY pay what they calculate and no more.. That may cause her to back off as potentially she knows payments will drop which is why by suggesting it will be intrusive she is trying to get you to agree to increased payments without the CMS..

All the best.

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