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TOPIC: SELF HARM

SELF HARM 5 years 9 months ago #35455

My 13 year old daughter has gouged her arm i noticed at the weekend...her mum hadnt told me so i was shocked...i dont know what i should do. ive e mailed the school secretary asking for advice yet to get a reply..do i tell the GP ? im angry her mum didnt feel the need to tell me...am i over reacting ?

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Re: SELF HARM 5 years 9 months ago #35462

Hi robbietorbay,

You are certain this was not just an accident ? Did you ask your daughter about the gouge (is a gouge or a cut?) ? Have you spoken to your daughters mum?



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Re: SELF HARM 5 years 9 months ago #35479

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Hi Robbie,

You must be really worried, as Gooner says you have to be sure that it wasn't an accident.

I guess you will feel a whole lot of different emotions, shock, anger and probably more than a little helplessness. The important thing is not to go off all guns blazing here, try and remain calm, raised voices and heard arguments will not help your daughter, she's going to need you both working together to help her through this. Hers a link to a helpful website, they have a helpline so it would be a good idea to give them a call,and talk to someone that has experience and can offer practical help for you all.

www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/for-par...arming_wda94588.html

Good luck
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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Last Edit: by Mojo.

Re: SELF HARM 5 years 9 months ago #35487

thanks for the prompt response..i got a phone call from the pastoral support team at the school who had spoken to my daughter,in response to my earlier e.mail...yes id spoken to my daughter who said it was because 'everyone does it'..the school say she said she ws angry about friend issues..they recomend i contact my GP....as for the mother ...yet to contact me to tell me...school unable to get a response either....fortunately i see my daughters weekly and can assess things...just insensed neither i nor the school have been contacted by the mother over this alarming behaviour.......

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Re: SELF HARM 5 years 9 months ago #35547

Hi robbietorbay,

I can imagine why you feel concerned. We have a video on the site about Self Harming that may be of some help.

If you are seriously concerned about your daughters safety then I would speak to her GP.

I wouldn't be angry at her mother for not telling you (was she aware of the incident or did you spot the cut first ?) - It would maybe best for the two of you to discuss so you can both keep an eye on the situation. Anger and recriminations would not be helpful in the situation as I guess that you both just want to keep your daughter safe - and the best way to do that, would be to both work together.


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Last Edit: by Goonerplum.

Re: SELF HARM 5 years 9 months ago #35597

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Hi

I'm glad your school's pastoral support is helping - I think that's a very good start. Are they seeing her on a regular basis? If not, I would suggest that they do - bear in mind that those sessions are generally confidential unless your daughter agrees to them contacting you, and I wouldn't press your daughter about what happens - she needs to know that there is someone she can speak to in strict confidence, which will help her to open up to them about her feelings. Also, speak to your daughter and ask her what she wants to happen, and how can you help her. It could be a slow process, but at least it's a start.
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