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TOPIC: i would like some help please

i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59033

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I was in a domestic marriage before witch lead to me loosing who I am as a person and after 6 years of abuse and isolation I've done a mistake and slept with someone I met on the internet who was 15 at that time . I am put down for a conditional caution as I haven't groomed that girl and it was consensual, never forced her or anything , it was just a moment of weakness witch I regret every single day . Since that mistake I ended my messed up marriage witch destroyed me as a person and who I was and with the help of someone else I managed to go back to my old self , the person who helps everyone and everyone in the comunnity loves . I've fallen in love with this new person in my life and a couple of months ago been told we are expecting together . On my last bail the police officer told me I shouldn't be around my new by now fiance as she has a 3 yr old daughter and part of my conditions will be not to have unsupervised contact with anyone under the age of 16 . So the officer contacted the social services and they made her sign an agreement that I won't be living at that adress and won't have access with her daughter . 4 weeks after that they called a meeting with her to see how the things are going and at that meeting they threatened her with sever repercussions if she has any contact with me now :( we both love each other and we both want to get married and start a family together but the social services try to split us up without even talking to me . I had no phone calls or anything from them . Nothing at all , they just wanna exclude me from her life and my unborn babies life without any assessment if an I really a bad person or not . All my friends and family trust me with their kids and know that the isolation and the abusive marriage I had before led me to that as never in my life touched a person wrongly :( I need help to know how can I prove to social services that I'm not a bad person and I'm a carrying person and a loving dad and all I want is to move from my hurtful past and be who I am . And have my new family together. Would like to thank you for your advice and help in advance .

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i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59059

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You may need to get legal advice on this, but it may be worth seeing if you can have a meeting with social services (possibly with your fiancee there) to see if there is any way this can move forward.

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i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59153

Hi Max,

I would advise you to contact our friends at the Family Rights Group. They specialise in giving advice to people who are involved with Children's Services.

They will be able to tell you what your options are, how to deal with Children's Services and the best way to try to sort this out. Their website is located here - you can also contact them via their freephone helpline number 0808 801 0366 .

Because of what has happened, I am guessing that the onus will be you to prove that you are not a danger to your girlfriends daughter. Children's Services have to be very careful in cases like this. You just need to be prepared to jump through any hoops they ask you to.


I hope this is of help.

Keep talking.

Gooner

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Last Edit: by Goonerplum.

i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59266

Have you tried to contact social services to discuss this with them?

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i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59269

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I haven't been in touch with them as yet as awaiting to see where my investigation leads and what are the conditions they will impose on me . The social have talked to my fiancee to break any contact with me as it can result in "severe consequences" they said and been bullying her into trying to be a single mum rather than sort this situation out :( thank you for all the advice so far and yes I will jump at anything to bring my family back together .

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i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59271

You said that you were given a conditional caution for sex with an underage girl - were you also placed on the Sex Offender Register?

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i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59273

max82 wrote: I haven't been in touch with them as yet as awaiting to see where my investigation leads and what are the conditions they will impose on me . The social have talked to my fiancee to break any contact with me as it can result in "severe consequences" they said and been bullying her into trying to be a single mum rather than sort this situation out :( thank you for all the advice so far and yes I will jump at anything to bring my family back together .


Max,

I wouldn't see Children's Services as bullying your girlfriend. Their first priority is to make sure that her daughter is safe. From what you have said they are reacting to what they have been told by the police.

I am guessing that you and your girlfriend are not living together at the moment? If I am right, then for the time being it may be for the best if you and your girlfriend abide by the instructions she has been given by Children's Services.

I understand that you may think that this is not very fair but because of what has happened then you might make matters worse if you ignore what Children's Services have told your girlfriend.

Keep talking

Gooner.

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Last Edit: by Goonerplum.

i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59279

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Social advised her against a relationship with me without even speaking to me , I understand that her daughter's safety it's at the heart of their actions but they haven't considered all the facts when they are pushing her away from me . When I heard about the conditional caution I moved out myself to try protect them and their relationship and been listening to al that been told . I don't know the full extent of my conditions yet as haven't been seen by the team who puts them on me and yes I think I will be on the sex offenders register :( my problem with social is why didn't they come to see me or assess me and work with us to restore our relationship instead of just trying to erase me from my unborn child's life and my families life :( I am willing to do anything to get my ffamilyback together just don't know where to start and how to go about it :(

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i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59388

I'm really sorry about the situation you are in, but it won't get sorted out or know where you stand unless you take some proactive steps.

I would suggest that you seriously consider talking to the Family Rights Group, on the contact details I have supplied, to see if they are able to offer you some advice regarding how to deal with Children's Services.

Let us know how you get on and what they advise.

best of luck


Gooner

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i would like some help please 5 years 9 months ago #59443

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Thank you for your help googoonerplumand everyone else who got involved in helping me , yesterday I've been served my conditional caution and the only condition on there is to sign on the sex offenders register for 2 years , nothing else what's so ever and after that I've asked the police officer if this means that I can work or building back my relationship with my fiancee or not ? And hes reply was that nobody can stop us from being together if that's what we want too but we need to work with all the relevant agencies witch to me that sounded like a fair point . With regards of the social services I haven't still heard anything of them , but I will contact that group today and take it from there next as I don't know where to start with them :( Thank you one more time to anyone who replied , much appreciated

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i would like some help please 5 years 8 months ago #59484

Good luck Max.

Let us know how you get on.



Gooner

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