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TOPIC: Start afresh?

Start afresh? 1 year 7 months ago #91357

  • Steve73
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Hi, I separated from my wife in August last year and since then I have suffered very badly emotionally. I have had two suicide attempts, the most recent one involved driving my car into a wall at 69mph with no seatbelt on. Amazingly, I survived.

Since then, I have understandably had access to my two girls revoked by social services, pending police and mental health reports. The children (age 3 & 4) were not with me during the incident and the police have advised that no charges will be brought. However, I will have to surrender my licence to the DVLA on health grounds.

My wife has a new partner who the children really like, and he treats them well by all accounts.

I am considering, given the circumstances and in the interests of the children's welfare, that I should step aside and take no further part in their lives. If my wife and her new partner can provide a secure, loving, family environment, then it is possible that it is best that I am not involved.

I do of course understand my moral and legal responsibility to provide financial support for the children going forward.

Am I reacting badly or does this sound reasonable. I would never harm my children but am not the stable, strong role model that they need.

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Start afresh? 1 year 7 months ago #91358

  • Mojo
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Hi there

The past few months must have been terribly painful for you... I'm really glad that you were unsuccessful in your attempts on your life. How are you feeling about that now? It's good that you've come here and are able to talk about how you're feeling, it does help to talk and we are here to listen and to help as far as we can.

It has only been a few months since the split and I think you need to give yourself more time to get some perspective back. You're their Dad and they love you unconditionally. You may not feel up to the job at the moment, but that will change as time passes.

I like the title of your topic... starting afresh, as it tells me that you're thinking about the future, which is good. I'm sure, given time, that you will be able to regain access to your children, it will take some work on your part, but it will be part of the healing process for you.

Nobody can tell you what to do about staying in your children's lives, but my advice would be not to make such a drastic decision at this stage. Wait until you are feeling more like yourself and can make a calm and reasoned decision...one that isn't taken whist your emotions are still all over the place.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Start afresh? 1 year 7 months ago #91413

Hi There,

I agree with Mojo, at the moment it would be too soon to make the decision of stepping aside, with all the emotions you must be feeling at the moment, I think it would be difficult for you to make a decision rationally.

As Mojo has said give it some time and allow things to settle down a bit and give yourself time to think things through properly.

you would be able to get contact back with your children so don't be put off by thinking that it couldn't or wouldn't happen anyway so why bother.

I hope you are feeling more positive now keep chatting to us and we can answer anything you would like to know.


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