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TOPIC: Help please.

Help please. 1 year 2 months ago #92066

  • Rob64uk
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Hello my ex is a complete nightmare. Ever since we broke up in June 2017 she has been completely difficult. We weren't even broken up three months before she filed for divorce and refused me access to my daughter till the divorce was final and even then she filed for me to pay her back for it. Admittly like most heart broken people I didn't want it to be over I wanted her to reconsider etc. She ended it over me watching porn.

Anyways I signed the divorce paper thinking it be the end of her difficult behaviour but no she rang my work said id been watching porn at work while teaching my pupils. Using the computers to watch it along many other accusations. I was suspended whilst it was investigated and and thankfully cleared. Next up social services called me to say ex had rang with concerns that I'm apparently emotionally abusing her and neglecting her (giving her food and drink she's not allowed causing pain and discomfort and thrush and bowl problems etc) and watching porn in front of my daughter) apparently daughter who's 3 told her all of the above) nothing further heard from ss. Contact had been suspended at this point for nearly 2 months no contact from her. I applied for mediation she messed around with it then finally went. Separate rooms. Contact with daughter reinstated for a few weeks then she emailed to say she is suspending it again due to further concerns.. so I've not seen my daughter again for a few weeks. Today I received from the court a c1a algergation of harm and abuse. It's a load of lies. She put she and along with my daughter have been subjected to abuse and harm etc. She said gp made a referal to social services for safe guarding concerns. Step2wellbeing and freedom program. Ss opened an investigation into safe guarding concerns and child in need opened. Police been informed. She's had cbt therpy, counselling and referal to freedom program. Social services have made a referal to police for safe guarding concerns regarding me watching porn.
She asked the court to allow her to take my daughter out the country as I've refused and wants them to agree with out my consent and over night contact should not be granted due to my violent porn addiction and safeguard measures are in place for limited unsupervised contact and police are aware.

I'm so scared she is trying to get my parental rights removed by making up a pack of lies. I've had one call from social services. I've never spoken to police and had any other calls from safeguarding or other services or received letters etc. She has apparently been in contact with all the above people named. I've never done anything other then not wanting my family to split up and then after I accepted it I just wanted to see my daughter. She only grants me three hours one day a week and I'm being accursed of all sorts. I applied for mediation as I wanted to see my daughter more. I never applied for a child arrangment order as mediator told me I couldn't do it with out mediation and now I feel like she lied to me and helped my ex by giving her the form to apply for a c1a form.

What do I do. I can't afford a solicitor and I'm scared I'm never going to see my daughter again with her lies. I fell out with all my family due to her hatred of my family. I got snipped as she didn't want anymore kids. I gave up my career so she could do her degree. I did everything she ever wanted and now I'm the bad guy!!!

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Help please. 1 year 2 months ago #92068

  • actd
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As social services are involved, I would have a word with the family rights group - www.frg.org.uk - as a starting point. I'm not sure about the legal side - the mediator was correct that you couldn't apply to court without mediation, but since that has been tried, then either one of you could apply to court, and your ex has done this.

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Help please. 1 year 2 months ago #92069

  • Rob64uk
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Thank you I will check it out. I don't understand why social and police are involved but not spoken to me about it? Social rang me back at start of year but never heard anythi g again from anyone.

I don't understand what the c1a is for as no application for access has been done. Only this c1a. The mediator said I could not apply for court yet althou access was yet again stopped.

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Last Edit: by Rob64uk.

Help please. 1 year 2 months ago #92073

  • Yoda
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You can apply to court. If mediation was in the last 4 months, they will stamp the form for you & they were wrong to advise you that you couldn't.

It is easy to self rep in court, they are very used to dealing with people that way.

You need a C100 form to do this.

The group actd recommended might be able to give you some advice regarding dealing with Children's Services but in reality, it is only the court who has the powers to make major decisions.

See if you can find a Families Need Fathers support group in your area and pop along to a meeting to get some help with court forms and strategies for representing yourself.

Unfortunately, I think you need to buckle up for a bumpy ride but I do think you need the court involvement here.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Help please. 1 year 2 months ago #92078

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My mediator said I had to complete three months of mediation and if unsuccessful then I could apply for the courts. I have only received this c1a form from the courts so I'm assuming that I will need to apply for a child arrangment order once this c1a stuff has cleared up. It was only a letter with a court date and the c1a application and room for my response. I assume as she has put no child arrangement order in place at the moment as social are carrying out assessments that an arrangement order will be arranged at a later date. Also can a court really overide me for refusing to allow my daughter to be taken out the country for three weeks up to 6 months and not being allowed to see or speak to my daughter in this time.

I have spoken to a solicitor and waiting for advice from the website that's been advised. I'm just so worried as I've never done anything I'm being accused off.

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Last Edit: by Rob64uk.

Help please. 1 year 2 months ago #92088

  • Mojo
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Hi there

The C1a form is a supplementary form that accompanies the C100form to tell the court about any risks to the children. As there’s a court date in the letter, it seems to me she has made an application, you just haven’t received the forms. There should be a Case Number on the letter, I suggest you give the court a call and tell them that you have received a letter but don’t understand it as you haven’t received any other forms, apart from the C1a form.

As it appears that court action has started, you wouldnt need to get the mediator to sign the form, you would be the respondent and your ex the applicant.

You don’t have to respond to the C1a, but it might help if you respond to her allegations.

The ex can’t just put a Child Arrangements Order in place, this is the courts role, but only after there have been hearings where you would both need to attend.

If your ex has applied for leave to remove your child from the jurisdiction, the court will look at all the facts and make their decision based on what is best for the child, this can include allowing the mother to leave.

Here’s a link to the Family Need Fathers website that Yoda mentioned, specifically a list of the meetings nationally, I think it would be a good idea for you to get to a meeting so that you can get some face to face advice and support.

www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings

We also work in partnership with Dialogue First, where you can get to speak to a qualified lawyer over the phone, here’s a link

www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/maki...n-divorce-separation

Try not to get too upset, it’s more common than you’d think for some ex’s to make all sorts of allegations, the courts are used to dealing with them, she will need to back up her allegations with proof. The courts have the child’s welfare and safety as their priority and will always want to investigate any allegations, but it’s important to understand that it isn’t personal or an indication that they believe everything that is said.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Last Edit: by Mojo.

Help please. 1 year 2 months ago #92131

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Thank you

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