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TOPIC: Child contact order application - My ex is playing hardball

Child contact order application - My ex is playing hardball 10 months 2 weeks ago #94829

Hello guys,

I badly need your opinions please!

I`m of African origin and was in a relationship with a Polish lady. We recently had a son together (I was with her all through the pregnancy, attended all her hospital appointments and antenatal training for 4 saturdays). I was present during the delivery as she had a CS. Spent 10 days in the hospital as our son had jaundice and blood infection. We share our bills equally including bills for baby stuffs.

After the birth of our son, I discussed circumcision with here, she had no objection but insisted it be done by a Jewish Rabbi. We split the cost 50/50. There was no issue until the mother arrived from Poland to help her out after delivery - she had a CS.

We started having issues once the mother arrived (she doesnt speak a word of English). It started when she discovered the circumcision and went beserk. My ex is emotionally weak and the mum and grandma have a massive influence on her. Apparently she couldnt defend herself and kept it from me. A massive issue unfolded when we proceeded to register our son at the GP. The mum kepts speaking to her in Polish and as a result, my wife insisted we must register our son with a double-barrelled surname. I refused and the mum got involved, snatching the registration form off me. I lost my cool as we kept shouting at each other. Police was called in but my ex said she doesnt want to take it any further.

Bear in mind, the last time the mum visited us, she made racial comments about me and my ex once told me the mum and grandma doesnt like the relationship as its with a black guy.

I returned from work one day and my ex, her mum and my son were gone. I tried contacting her without success so I reported missing persons to the Police. I was later informed by the Police she is at a reguge home and she isnt interested in the relationship any longer.I was advised to seek legal advice, which I did.

After trying all mediation without success, I was forced to approach the court for a disclosure order, child contact order and prohibited steps order. Cafcass conducted a telephone interview for us both and she made allegations of me abusing coacaine, cannabis and malhandling our son. She didnt turn up for the first court hearing as she claims she wasny served. I denied abusing coacaine and confirmed I hadnt smoked weed in years and volunteered for a dugs test. The court agreed. She also alleged that my interet in my son was to facilitate my permanent stay in the Country - I am on a vis and need my son`s passport to renew my visa.

At the next hearing, I presented the expert report of the drug testing going back a year showing that I wasnt positive of both drugs and was accepted by the court. Then, her Lawyer started building a case of controlling and coercive behaviour and that I was speaking to other ladies on the telephone.

My ex is claiming I impose my culture, belifes and opinions on her. This has never been the case! She also stated I coerced her into the circumcision - far from the truth as we both agreed to it and shared the bill equally! We have always made decisions together. The only major issue we ever had was about the double-barrelled name.

Cafcass has done a criminal check on me and its come back as negative - never had any criminal issue and never been stopped by the Police.

The court has asked that my solicitor contact home office for my immigration status - my leave expires on 13th October and I have applied to renew it based on the birth of my son. The court also ordered Cafcass to conduct a section 7 report and a parental capability on myself - obviously observing my ability to look after my son. This is no issue for me as I did this regularly after the birth of my son.

I have read that Cafcass tend to show bias towards fathers - Is this true. Anyone has any experience of section 7 report and what it entails.

Anyone ever had experience similar to mine as my partner is trying to leverage my immigration status against me and playing every dirty trick to stop me from being part of my son`s life.

Your contributions are welcomed please!

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Child contact order application - My ex is playing hardball 10 months 2 weeks ago #94838

  • actd
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Hi,

You need your solicitor to sort out any issues with your immigration status, as we don't have any expertise on here with that regards. Cafcass should have an open mind to start with, though gut feeling seems to play a large part, and sometimes they get that wrong.

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Child contact order application - My ex is playing hardball 10 months 2 weeks ago #94841

Thanks. My solicitor is sorting out the immigration issue. My worry is the section 7 reports to completed by caffcass and the crazy allegations she's made.

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Child contact order application - My ex is playing hardball 10 months 2 weeks ago #94844

  • Mojo
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If she makes allegations to cafcass they will most likely ask you about it, just stay calm and reasonable and keep your answers about your child.

Your response to such questions shouldn’t be to say, well she did this and she did that, it makes it look like you’re just trying to get back at her.

Respond with any evidence you have to show that there aren’t any grounds to her allegations, perhaps explain that you feel her mother is controlling her and has a massive influence over her, that she has been racially abusive towards you and dislikes you because of it.

Mention that she had made allegations about you to cafcass, in the previous safeguarding report, accusing you of drug abuse, but you were able to show her allegations were false by providing a negative drugs test.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Child contact order application - My ex is playing hardball 10 months 2 weeks ago #94845

Thanks mate. That was truly helpful

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