Hi
Thanks for your reply. Maybe I forgot to mention that I used to have her every weekend and my ex forces every other weekend.
Means that for 3 years, my daughter get used to see me 6 days and 12 nights a month and her mom force to 2 days and 6 nights a month.
But, because my daughter spend a long period of time without seeing me, it happens twice that she refuses to come to my house, which never happened before!
Regarding PA, it comes slowly and increased. First it has been with all the toys or clothes I bought.
My daughter refuses now, any clothes that I bought saying that I should stop buying clothes because I can't buy proper clothes. I do and the clothes are more than fine but that's come from her mom mouth as she told me the same thing in the past.
My daughter is really attracted to music, I started some young child music group, very fun. She loved it, but because I have her every other weekend her mom refuses to bring her there,my daughter saying that she doesn't want to have anything to do with music anymore because mommy told her that it wasn't good.
Her grandmother is part of it. She is there every week, looking after our daughter, she came to visit schools with us, choose the school with my ex. She impose everything, even when I give my opinion.
She told me:
"you are alone here, our daughter will starts to be bored to spend time with you as I have a big family. I just need a babysitter for the moment and you fit the profile."
That has been said not texted. I have exemple of texts of the same mood but now she is more careful.
She also said that her parents needs to spend time with her every week and that's more important in her eyes than me.
Twice she has dropped our daughter to my house, sitting down on the steps at the entrance with our daughter in her arms stroking her hair, saying how much she is going to miss her, that she will be all alone,...
Then the only way to calm down our daughter after that was to call her mom back to pick her up.
I clarified things making sure that she stays in the car and I come to pick up our daughter from the car.
But even that is tricky now!
The thing is for 3 years, my daughter and I have been really close as I was spending regular quality time with her. Her mom hated it.
This morning my daughter left my house and prepared a bag with some toys from my house to take with her. As soon as she get to the car of her mom, she refuses to take the toys and her mom told me that she had everything she needs at her house and doesn't need any of my cheap crap toys.
Also, my daughter refuses to show any sign of affection in front of her mom, but doesn't hesitate to do it the other way. Not even a goodbye!
When her mom isn't there, she is really demonstrative!
I play professionally in a jazz/funk band and we have our success and play abroad a few times. We have a label and recorded EPs and an album. We pressed a few on CDS, my daughter loved it because it's her dad playing obviously. She asked to keep a CD in her mom's house to listen on her cd player in her bedroom.
When I asked her if she listened to it she told me that she can't find it anymore.
Her mom told me that she putted it in the bin because she spelt water on it ir something like that.
I gave an other one and it disappears again. I just gave up.
I make my work around the timetable we arrange for our daughter which was every weekend Saturday until Tuesday morning. I can't afford not to work personally, this is my only way to bring money in.
Now I dont have "conventional" hours with my work but in that case, what a judge says to a supermarket employee, or a nurse, a doctor,... or any shift worker?
That they have to be penalised for working and being able to provide to their kids?
Like I said, for 3 years we had a very good agreement, my work has been planned around this. I need to keep working to pay my Bills and child maintenance, plus all the clothing and everything I buy for my daughter.
I really dont know how to prove this to cafcass or a judge that this is a situation that getting worse!
It is just the start.
She is really manipulative and very good at hiding it. I have contact with my daughter only because she knows that she has to do it legally.
Is somebody has been in the same situation because of work? Are you not seeing your kids every week just because of that ?
Also, what is the condition for a shared time 50/50?