TOPIC: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16361

yeh john the coach is helping.. but its not getting easier... i feel weak that i cant deal with this... thoughts of suicide mite be a bit far fetched.. but apart from that a life of being pushed aside while another man raises my son will kill me slowly...

crying as i write this and not having my anything to look forward to makes these thoughts seem ever so more real..

i dont think i have the courage to do it so i dont want anyone to panic... but i just want her back.. nothing else will make me happy.

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16362

Things are really tough for you and they will stay that way for a while, there is no point in telling you differently as we all know how a break up effects us.

You need to continue the counsiling sessions as they will help you to get your head where it needs to be, your days will move between good, bad and just normal probably over the next 6-8 months and maybe even longer, you are making progress and are stronger now than you were even 1 month ago and as time goes on you will become stronger.

Try to remain as you were in the email you sent her last week, as that was really well written and showed you care for your son.

did you manage to sell your car in the end?
The following user(s) said Thank You: j2

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16374

i sent her an email today i said im sad you have a new bf but i just want to see my son.

she replied and said for me to contact a contact center and see him there.

she also called me,

we had a good chat... i was humble and explained that my life is not the carefree party that you think it is, and im in a dark place filled with the regret for how i treated her.. i also told her that because of how i love her as the mother of my child i want her to be happy and i wont stand in the her way of her happiness..

we did not argue and i cud tell she has calmned down alot... i told her i miss her and hope we can work on being friends she sounded well and i told her that i will never stop fighting for my son.. i also asked her to please not let this man replace me and i dont want him to hold my son.. she promised he wouldnt but i dont believe it..

we left the conversation well.. i said lets try and talk try and re-build a frendship she said she wud call me tomorrow lets see how that goes..

if anyone has any advice on how to control my feelings id appreciate it.. cos i am crying everyday...

ill update you on if she calls tomorrow or tonight...



ill

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16377

Wow, that's such a huge step forward to make, that must have taken a lot to have swallowed your pride to that extent.

I guess the only thing you can do is to stay focused on your son, and when ever you see or talk to her, remember that he is a reason to withhold the emotions you have towards her.

Try not to keep telling her how much she still means to you as this will start to cause friction between the 2 of you and start to effect you seeing your son.

Don't expect too much from her in respect of calling you as she seems to have moved on with her life to a certain extent and calling you daily will impact that, you should though as long as you keep going how you are now be able to maintain friends with her.

I guess with regards to her new bloke replacing you he never will, you are Alex's dad and always will be, this guy may hold him from time to time, but he will never replace who you are and Alex will know that.

Keep doing what your doing as it's working!!!

Darren

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16381

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Hi cbm - I would say that a starting point is to move on with your life. I'm not talking about finding someone else, but more starting to do things that you want to do - hobbies, keep fit, travel etc and to get your confidence back. It can take a lot of time, but sometimes it can take something simple that you never expected. As Darren said, don't keep telling your ex how much you miss her, it's not helping you either. It will get better, and it will happen when you are ready for it to happen.

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16401

ok so i have now found out that after my second evaluation for legal aid i have been unsuccessfull..

also i called the contact center and asked them for help they said they cannot help me and that all requests for a contact center arrangement must come from a social worker and it must come from the mother so i gave them my exs phone number and asked them to call her..

last night i broke down harder than ever before i was shaking and couldnt feel my hands i cryed so hard my eyes began to hurt.

i dont see any light at the end of this tunnel its heading straight down into darkness...

im losing this battle with my mind.

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16402

Hi There,

You have been doing really well, your not loosing just facing some challenges, I would look into representing yourself at court as you can do this easily, you will need to keep your cool while in court but thats easily done.

You are stronger than you think and will pull through this, keep your focus on Alex and how much he needs you to be part of his life.

Look at Yoji's guide in the legal section.

Darren

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16408

CBM - I agee with the points that Darren has made.

Here is a link to Yoji's guide

If you can't get legal aid then seriously consider representing yourself in court - many of our members have done this and it's not as difficult as it would initially seem.


Try not to focus on the setbacks - focus on what you are doing well. The conversation with your ex was such a step in the right direction.

Keep strong

Gooner

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16411

guys im trying.. and im now starting to feel like a baby why cant i get over her? why do i cy.. its hurting me so bad and i do run the situation over my mind toomuch but i cant help it... im going to pursue councilling see where that leads.. im not going to get over this anytime soon ive realised that now...

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16558

Its good that you know there's no quick fix to how you're feeling. One step at a time mate. Keep going!!

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16639

has anyone had to deal with this before? how do i detract all emotion from her? stop feeling jelous and scared?? this is my struggle.. if i didnt have a kid with her i cud just block her out and feel like shes someone elses problem.. why cant i do that to her~?

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 9 months ago #16661

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You are still mourning a loss, and different people handle grief in different ways, and of course it's made worse by the fact that you are constantly reminded of what you have lost. It may sound corny, but it really does get better with time, and with help you can learn how to handle the loss and eventually to move on.

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