TOPIC: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13233

  • actd
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It may be worth contacting the national mediation service first and having a word with them - yours won't be a new situation to them.

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13234

Same as me then, I work for Audi what about you.

I think you need to make contact but maybe leave it until after the weekend allow things to settle, then swallow the humble pill say your and that you would like to see Alex

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13235

Keep your message as un emotional as you can and be business like as if you were writing to a customer, tell her you want to see Alex and that if you can try to sort that out first then when things are calmer you can try to talk about some regular contact.

And just see how she reacts

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13252

Hi, This sounds like me 5years ago. Do not worry you will soon feel like "why did l ever love this woman"

All l can do is give you how l reacted. At first she let me see my daughter every day, but then she kept making excuses and only wanted me to see my daughter if l did odd jobs for her, bought her food and fags etc. Then communication stopped. I went to see her, I pleaded with her, and she laughed in my face.

She once said my daughter had no shoes on her feet, as l had bought her shoes and clothes l went down to drop them off, I was ill at the time and going to see an Osteopath, the door was open so I knocked, no reply, I knocked again still no reply, l did not know what to do so I phoned my parents, they said just shove the door open and put the clothes inside the hall, ((its a rough estate she lives on and things on doorsteps soon get lifted). I did this, and that was what she had been waiting for, she rushed out of the kitchen shouting and swearing pushed me down the steps and kicked me. I told her to calm down as my daughter had come out and was watching this, but to no avail. So l left, my parent told me to contact the police, this l did that night as l was so ill. I could not get out of bed for 2 days, so the police came to see me as I was at a friends house in another village. I went back to my own and within 15 min the police came and arrested ME for breach of the peace. My solicitor told me to plead guilty as l had opened her door and put a foot in to put the clothes down, so she was in her rights to push me out etc. So now l have a criminal record. That is when l knew she was pure evil.

After that l went to a solicitor, just before we were going to court she said l could see my daughter. This time though my parents collected her and dropped her off. I have never spoken to my ex for over 4 years. She has stopped me seeing my daughter 4 times since, the last time l saw my daughter was in August last year..During this time I moved on l now have 2 more children. I have never forgotten my 1st born and never will but life does get easier and you can make a new life.

My advice is go to court, the thing l never did as she always backed down just before. Make it legal to see your daughter and if you do not wish to see your ex get your parents or someone to collect your daughter from your ex. Then there is no misunderstanding .
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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13256

good advice man.. thnka u.. ive nto contacted her yet i sent a hundred nappies or so and some formula.. lets see if she calls to thank me.. ill updat eyou all on the progress.

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13258

My other advice is do not follow her to see if you can just get a look at your child. I did that and she got the police on me for harrassment. The police did not do anything just advised me to go through the courts, wish l had taken their advice.

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13259

naa i wont do anything like that she can carry on.. ill go to court

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13276

Hi CBM,

Sending nappies and formula seems a great idea, show you are trying to help.

How are you? you sound a lot more settles and straight thinking now.

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13400

Hi, I'm Sarah, a consultant at Child Maintenance Options.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been having such a hard time. Break-ups are never easy, but the main thing (as many other posters have been saying) is that you concentrate on your son and what's best for him. And you've already started thinking about how you can support your son financially by buying the nappies for him, which is a really good start.

Hopefully I can help you understand your financial responsibilities a bit more. Child maintenance is basically your contribution to the cost of raising your child. If you and your ex-partner agree, you can sort out child maintenance between yourselves, without anyone else getting involved. This is called a family-based arrangement. With a family-based arrangement, you can agree to buy things for your son (like nappies, clothes and toys) or you can agree to pay a regular amount of money. Whatever you agree works best for you and your ex-partner.

The Child Maintenance Options service has lots of information about how to make a family-based arrangement work for you. You can also access free tools and guides to help you talk to your ex about child maintenance. This includes a free child maintenance calculator, which gives you an estimate of how much your payments would be through the CSA. You could use this as a starting point for your family-based arrangement, if you want to.

Whatever you decide, make sure you keep a record of your payments in case of any future disagreements.

Supporting your son financially will hopefully help your ex-partner realise that you're serious about being a good dad and that will help the situation.

i hope this helps a little. If you'd like to find out more, visit www.cmoptions.org , or call the Options team on 0800 988 0988 for a confidential chat.
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This information which Child Maintenance Options has provided is not a substitute for independent professional advice and users should obtain professional advice relevant to their particular circumstances.

Please note: the Child Maintenance Options team cannot answer any questions relating to a specific CSA or Child Maintenance Service case

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13491

Hi CBM,

The Children's Legal Centre are still having issues posting to this thread so I will post their advice to you.

From the background provided, it would appear that you have no Parental Responsibility over the child. However, this is not a bar to you obtaining adequate contact with the child should he want to do so.

If you are assumed as the child’s father, you could still apply to Court for a Contact Order, -ie asking a judge to decide how often and how he should be allowed to see the child. You can apply by yourself by filing a form C100 (or C2 if there are other legal proceedings pending) at Court. You can download the form on www.justice.org.uk . There you can also find documents CB1 and CB3 which you can refer to as a guide.

You could also apply for Parental Responsibility at the same time, by filing the same form as above – be careful to specify which order he is applying for.

Please note that a court order is a legally binding provision that the mother will have to comply with.

Please note that any court application has a cost attached. Please get in touch with your local court to find out the exact amount.


WHAT IS PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

This relates to all the rights, duties and responsibilities you have as a parent. The consent of both parents would be required to change their son’s surname or take him abroad. A parent with PR is able to speak to doctors, give medical consent, speak and visit schools and have copies of school reports and letters.

HOW TO FIND OUT IF AN UNMARRIED FATHER HAS PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

The unmarried father will have acquired PR automatically if

a)His name was included in the child’s birth certificate, if the child’s birth was registered after 1st December 2003; or
b)Has a Residence Order in place for the child.

If none of the above applies, it is advisable for him to try and obtain it.

HOW TO OBTAIN PR

a)Entering a Parental Responsibility agreement with the mother – this is a simple form to fill in (download from www.justice.org.uk ) and to be signed by both parents in the presence of a witness at Court. It will have to be filed at the Principal Registry of the Family Division to make it legally binding.

b)Obtaining a Parental Responsibility Order by the Court – this is totally at the Court’s discretion and can be applied for through a C100 form (or C2 if there are other court proceedings in place), specifying what you are applying for. Again, this from can be downloaded from www.justice.org.uk .


I hope this advice is helpful.

Gooner

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13544

im still a bit confused do i need a solicitor? or can i do this myself?

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Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER 6 years 10 months ago #13552

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hi cbm, there is no requirement for you to have a solicitor. you can represent yourself, and we can provide assistance, along with the experts we can call upon to give opinions.

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