TOPIC: Any helped appreciated....

Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17186

Long story short...

What do you do when the Social, Courts, Psychologists don't believe that your partners ex is emotionally abusing child? we have reems of proof, but nobody interested.

Back in court next month, can see her getting her rights/access back and they "professionals" will have failed her big time!

WHERE DO WE GO?

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17207

So when you say you have loads of evidence, and no-one interested - what do you mean?

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17253

Social services and the police would be very interested if there was proof. What kind of proof do you mean?

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17422

We have recorded calls (solicitor said it was ok to do so, but can't be used in court, have used it previously to play to the child guardian and both legal teams) ex has broken court order NUMER|OUS times, latest this weekend, citing transportation issues and would be late, when in actual fact she was meeting up with my partners parents behind our backs. Nothing wrong with seeing them, but not when it breaks a court order.

Child is STILL being exposed to domestic verbal abuse at mothers home, this time ex's partner started on the child. Both parents signed agreement with Social, not to involve child in such issues, but she still is. Mother claimed she also had no money so therefore could not return the child from contact. Social services stumped up the money for the bus fare home, then pulls this stunt clearly lying. Ex has text us to say that contract between parents and social "means nothing".

Given the amount of times she has broken the CO it does clearly mean nothing to her!

Myself and my partner want to move away. We are both currently unemployed and want to get back into the labour market. This means moving the child from school. Barrister says if mother says no we have to apply to the court for "permission to move". We have found a better Ofsted rated school, jobs for both of us, a nicer house (by that I mean cheaper to run but still big enough for us all to live together!!), BUT child as told us that mother and partners family are gonna "close ranks" on us and stop us moving. and when the child's mother "wins her in court" ex will give up her residency to partners family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW IS THAT NOT INVOLVING A CHILD??????

The child even told me that social services had paid for the ticket and how much it cost. appointment with Sol on Wednesday, but feel like I am going to explode. For as horrible as it sounds and maybe selfish I cannot go on living like this (there is WAY more to this). I (with our 5 month old son) will move away even if it means leaving ,my partner and his daughter. Yes, it's come to this. Also my partner feels he should put his daughter into care, yes, it's come to this........ IT WILL SPLIT OUR FAMILY UP..... WE ARE AT BREAKING POINT!.............................................................

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17427

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I think you need to speak to your solicitor about this, but as far as I am aware, as long as you are staying within England, there is nothing to prevent you from moving as long as it's not to prevent contact, and in your case, there are obviously genuine reasons for moving. You would probably be expected to be more flexible with contact normally, but if there are safety issues, then that may not be the case. In any event, I would wait until the next hearing is over as you don't want to have this as something extra brought up in court at this stage.

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17486

I had read somewhere that it's more difficult to move abroad, so I am hoping that it will be ok. We were thinking of bringing it up in court as if she says no we can then put our case forward and hopefully get them to grant permission so that we can prepare to move. Our tenancy is in doubt anyway, so we will have to move somewhere!

Contact would continue on it's monthly basis, my partner is going to court with the offer if doing half the travelling on a friday eve/night which might show the judge we are commited to keeping up contact.

This is uber stressful. Social have come back with their report......... it beggars belief.... I am tired, stressed and generally wanna be somewhere else right now....

Thanks for your reply.

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17505

Well don't give up - and remember what you are fighting for!

There are many posts on here where dads have spent years fighting and they have eventually won.

You will have good days as well as bad - so keep that chin up!

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17755

UPDATE: Social have reccomended no changes to current arrangements, appalled by mothers behavior (as witnessed by them), BUT child Psychologist says contact with mother should return to "normal"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOTALLY GOBSMACKED. Child's Guardian, Social and Psychologist all at odds! What happens now?

If contact returns to "normal" how are we supposed to pay for contact 2 a month when we ourselves on benefits?

TOTALLY GOBSMACKED :o

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 10 months ago #17811

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I'd go back to your solicitor again - I have no idea what the consequences are of not being able to afford to comply with contact, especially as this means that the child will go without - I would have thought that the court could order that the mother pays towards the contact.

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Re: Any helped appreciated.... 6 years 9 months ago #18065

UPDATE: Court this week. Order stays same on Social's say-so. Although they wanted to go with Child Psych report!! NO agreement on Travel, although Mother and court has granted us permission to move! Hurrah! because of no agreement mother has to do ALL travel on the money we have been providing! Even when we move! Which will see an increase in fares? That one surprised me.

We still have to use child's child benefit to pay for the c/ordered "fare". Once we have moved we are hoping that he'll pay his fare and child's, she will pay hers and child...Simples! Sounds like next hearing will be an IRH then a final hearing. Guardian has suggested that coz Social and Child Psych don't agree, that Social (who's on same page as us) will change her position to favor Child Psych! So that's a bit crapola!!.....

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The end? 6 years 9 months ago #18191

Update: Had a metting today with Social Services about ex's child. They are on about putting their daughter on Child Protection Register!!! :o

And because "our son" lives with said child, he will also be put onto the register. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

IAM MORTIFIED!

Social claiming my input into "court proceedings" is making things worse, although I asked for evidence of this she got all shirty and gave me one instance.

I am sat here opened mouthed and "speechless". After nearly hyperventing on the bus home Feels like someone has ripped my heart out and shot me through the head.......

I said I would leave my partner when and if it ever got to this stage. They have said that us seperating would make no diff to our son being placed on the register, as "we have not considered the kids in the seperation"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 5 month old baby has become involved with this and he can't even talk yet!................................... How can this woman do these henous things to her daughter yet me and my son are the 'scape goats?.......................

GAME OVER!

HOW CAN THEY GET IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG!

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Re: The end? 6 years 9 months ago #18215

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Hi ToF

That's appalling to have to go through this.

We can ask the Family Rights Group to come on here and offer advice if you wish, or you could contact them directly if you'd rather get quicker help - their website is www.frg.org.uk/

Keep us posted, and keep fighting for what is right.

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