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TOPIC: Parental Responsibility...just a bit of paper...

Parental Responsibility...just a bit of paper... 8 years 2 days ago #18214

Hi..Never married and, pre automatic PR ,i had to go through court to get such..i then returned to court to get a contact order and a preventative steps order to prohibit the mother from taking the children out of the country..The court found in my favour and restricted the movement of my children to the county ie devon,unless id given my consent,being notified at least 28 days in advance. Since then i have found the expensive pieces of paper i possess to be seemingly worthless..examples
..i have no say in my childrens religion.[.i believe they should find their ownfaith in time,not have a parents faith imposed upon them.].However they have been christenned behind my back ,and,now catholic,.I have no say in their education, they go to a catholic school.Ididnt get consulted as to choice of secondary school..i get school reports 5 months after the mother.Being non catholic,and a male,i note the discrimination from the all female catholic staff,,i have had to get solicitors to write and demand they send me reports.The local education authority label absent dads as second parents and dont even record dads details.They therefore will not consult with dads.
.Altho the court orders the mother to make the children available alternate weekends,half school hols etc and states and at other reasonable times,the mother refuses to let kids see me outside of the fixed defined periods.my kids think im at fault somewhere as im only allowed to see them on certain days,yet mum can see them all the time...not mums been so unreasonable a court has had to order her to ..I have to see both children together,regardless of age ,and i never get to see them seperately,and not as individuals...The mother defies the preventative steps order and takes the children out of the country and as long as she has stated when she will be back..as long as she brings them back on the date she stated then thats that..
so im asking what exactly is the point? All that money and its worthless as its unenforcable
.I am told the dates i am to have the children,to suit her work pattern..i have to use my holiday and take days of work unpaid...and 3 weeks in the summer a week at easter and a week at xmas..plus half terms..one 3rd of a year ,yet mother gets child benefit and working tax credits and wants £70 a week maintenance.....but hope is around the corner..Having messed work about so much so i could see my kids.I lose my job...Being on the dole gets me half hr legal consultation,4 hrs legal work free..no court costs,and if mother refuses mediation id get legal aid for family court..The form filling id do myself..its all on the net.. I wont be exhausted when i see my kids as i wont have been working all hours prior to seeing them,,i get my rent,council tax paid and £70 a week..equivilent to the take home pay 50 hrs at minimum wage wld get me.. I am going to get my teeth done free,my eyes tested and glasses.not have to pay any maintainance..Be free to have my kids anytime..., Then next summer im going to play on the beach every day with my kids,have a damn good rest ...im a dad and i deserve it....Then when ive gone to court for free on every point the mother has refused to even discuss with me,il find it wont make the slightest bit of difference.
..so i better get down the employment agencies n get a job that allows for absent dads to fulfil their responsibilities as they cater for mums...equality? oh well...thanx for reading ...i feel better for getting that outa my system....!

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Last Edit: by robbietorbay. Reason: correcting spelling etc

Re: Parental Responsibility...just a bit of paper... 7 years 11 months ago #18299

Thanks for sharing! I hear your frustration. Does this mean you've decided not to work or have lost your job? Really hope you're able to work things out so you see more of your kids & sometimes on their own.

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Re: Parental Responsibility...just a bit of paper... 7 years 11 months ago #18709


I have to agree that the PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY ORDER is a worthless piece of paper...

According to Directgov website it states: "When a non-resident parent has parental responsibility, it doesn't give them an absolute right to have contact with the child. Also, the resident parent doesn't have to consult the other parent on a day-to-day basis about the childs upbringing. However, the resident parent is expected to keep the non-resident parent informed about the childs well-being and general progress"

I have not had contact with my son since January 2008. I do have a PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY ORDER. Here are a few examples of why its a worthless piece of paper:

1. My 'ex' moved my son from one school to another and neither the school or her notified me.

2. My 'ex' has now (successfully) put a stop to my sons new school having his, one-a-year school photo taken, citing that her solicitor said it was classed as a 'form of contact'? (The school never asked for proof of what the solicitor said and just went on the word of my 'ex')

3. My 'ex' refuses to have any contact with me whatsoever to discuss our sons progress and upbringing.

My question is this...if I attend a Court of Law to obtain a so-called legal document (PRO), then why is it non-enforceable and can be so blatantly ignored?

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Re: Parental Responsibility...just a bit of paper... 7 years 11 months ago #18717

I agree that the system in practise can be oddly unfair towards the non resident parent ?

How would you change the system ? What would make the system manageable and fair for the children so that they are able to have meaningful relationships with both their parents ?


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Re: Parental Responsibility...just a bit of paper... 7 years 11 months ago #18718

Dear Robbietorbay

Thank you for your post.

We would need to clarify a few points in order to advise.

We would be grateful if you would contact us to discuss your matter in more detail.

You can contact us via our webchat facility which can be found at www.childrenslegalcentre.com and is available Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm.

Alternatively you can contact our freephone advice line on 0808 8020 008 which is available Monday to Friday 8am-8pm.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely


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