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TOPIC: Not sure if this can be asked here?

Not sure if this can be asked here? 4 years 6 months ago #62154

I'm looking for some advice.

I split August last year from my girlfriend which we had a 8 month old baby.

Upon our split I instantly made sure that I had our son and have been trying ever since to keep things between us civil and have had legal advice from a Solicitor to arrange contact at any time she likes (with reasonable notice given).

His mother is unable to keep things civil, and has had very little contact with our son, she has seen him I think 3 times in total since we separated and her last visit was 31st December.

I am aware that she was caught pregnant not long after we separated (with her new partner) and that this would eventually make contact for her harder to travel, as her pregnancy progressed, but i find it disgusting that a woman can abandon a child and rush into having another.

I was able to locate where she was living once in order to get a solicitor to send a letter in the hope to put a stop to her threats and put an end to her constant arguing and to have a contact agreement in place for her, this clearly failed, she has moved address and personally i can't be bothered to track her down anymore.

At the same time, I think she should be forced into contributing to our son's up bringing and be forced to making more effort to see our son.

My questions are, would it be worth while, she will have no intention on working, I'm aware her current partner is also the same, so would CSA be of any use if they're on Benefits.

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Not sure if this can be asked here? 4 years 6 months ago #62157

Hi There,

I can understand your thinking on stopping trying to find her so that you can maintain contact for your son, what I would say is ensure you have everything that you have used to locate her and keep it as evidence so you can show that you have tried, that way if she ever tries to raise a case against you you can show it was her that didn't make the effort.

With regards to CSA if they are both on benifits then the amount you would get would be minimal if anything at all, you could contact CSA/CMS and ask them to open a case for you, they would then have to look into her earnings ect and once the case is open then it stays open so if she does get work in the future then she would be liable then even if she isn't now.

GTTS

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Not sure if this can be asked here? 4 years 6 months ago #62158

got-the-tshirt wrote: Hi There,

I can understand your thinking on stopping trying to find her so that you can maintain contact for your son, what I would say is ensure you have everything that you have used to locate her and keep it as evidence so you can show that you have tried, that way if she ever tries to raise a case against you you can show it was her that didn't make the effort.

With regards to CSA if they are both on benifits then the amount you would get would be minimal if anything at all, you could contact CSA/CMS and ask them to open a case for you, they would then have to look into her earnings ect and once the case is open then it stays open so if she does get work in the future then she would be liable then even if she isn't now.

GTTS


Thanks for replying, I have kept hard copies of letters, I have also kept all messages via FB (which I ended up having to block her) and SMS messages.

In the event of her deciding to make contact in the future I already anticipate she will place blame elsewhere (thats just the type of person she is) and I want to have all this, come that day I will be able to prove to our son that I have done everything possible, it was her doing for having no contact.

Now that i know very little will be gained with CSA, i think i will leave it, in the period of our relationship (nearly 4 years) she had no intention of working, so im sure her new partner also having the same attitude, theyll both be benefit scroungers.

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