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TOPIC: What rights do I have??

What rights do I have?? 3 years 1 week ago #78436

Hi guys

Im new to the site and have a few questions that some of you may be able to help me with

the story starts a few years back when I get a call from the CSA informing me that I have a child (the kiddie was 7 at this time), after confirming with a DNA test that I was the paternal father I started to pay maintenance and have been for several years now

Now I know that I am not on the birth certificate, so my question is what paternal rights do I have if any? whats done is done but I just like to get some impartial advice as I have heard conflicting information for several people

has anyone else had or having a similar experience?

Thanks in advance

Sean

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What rights do I have?? 3 years 1 week ago #78439

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Hi Sean

If you are not named on the birth certificate then you have no rights as it stands. Even being named affords hardly any rights if the mother is hostile.

As you've had paternity confirmed and if the child is under the age of 16, you can apply to court for Parental Responsibility and you may then have your name added.

If your child is under 16 you can also apply for a Child Arrangements Order to try and establish contact, although you would need to attend mediation first. If you don't know the childs whereabouts, this would be a stumbling block and you would first have to apply for a seek and find order, as you pay maintenance you would tell the court that the CSA are aware of her whereabouts and they would be able to ask them for an address.

If your child is over 16 there's very little you can do I'm afraid, it would be up to the child to seek you out, if they are even aware of the true situation. It's a very complex situation with many variables, they may be close to a step parent, they may have been alienated towards you by the mother, they may even think that someone else Is their parent.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Last Edit: by Mojo.

What rights do I have?? 3 years 1 week ago #78448

Hi,

Great advice there from mojo, i am not sure i can add anything he has not said. I was in a kind of similar situation to yourself, literally a stalk flew over me and landed this baby on my lap so to speak. I had zero rights as i was not on the birth certificate and due to a relationship breakdown between myself and the mother i had to take it through the courts. You will have no problem getting your name on the birth certificate especially when you have proof your the father. These things do take time though but it depends what your looking for and what you want.

If you meet a hostile mother no court will ever force the situation, as much as people think mothers get punished, the reality is, it is extremely rare. The courts can set down rules and orders but many times they are not worth the paper they are written on. I would certainly invite the mother to mediation if you can, i would try and build bridges with her just as much with your child. Mothers are just as powerful as judges, trust me. This is not coming from a bitter twisted person who the system didnt work for, it comes from somebody who has first hand experience of how it works

All the best

Paul

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Last Edit: by T135T0.

What rights do I have?? 3 years 1 week ago #78452

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....there can be bias in the mothers favour, but that isn't across the board and it's worth testing it in my opinion. You will find success stories too, if you have a look through past posts from our members. Paul has had a difficult time in the past, but I think he would be the first to admit that his initial approach was counter productive.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

What rights do I have?? 3 years 1 week ago #78456

Reading between the lines, there may be hostility already. If the mother was looking out for the best interests of the child then she would have made contact sooner to try and build a relationship with her natural father rather than going straight for financial support I would have thought.
In my own experience, my ex breached court orders many, many times. Not turning up for court, missing CAFCASS appointments, missing social worker meetings, not turning up at contact centres and the list could probably fill this page.
In my case there definitely was bias towards my ex initially. This did turn full circle when she showed her true colours both in court and to social workers.
Unfortunately my children had been completely alienated towards me and the damage was deemed irreparable by a psychologist that she was ordered to see.
So in my particular case there was absolutely no consequence for my ex basically sticking two fingers up at everyone and stopping me having any contact with my children.
However not every situation is the same and the advice given above is good advice. Mediation, building bridges and trying to establish a line of civil communication could be the start of a wonderful time for all of you.
If you're going down the route of using a solicitor, think about representing yourself. It's not difficult and will save a ton of money.
I was advised by a solicitor during a free initial consultation that I should think about self representation as solicitors fees can run into the thousands.
My ex had many different solicitors and a couple of barristers but at the end of the day, the truth is the truth and no amount of legal trickery or fancy jargon can alter what you feel.
Good luck.

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