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TOPIC: Self-Isolation Issue

Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 5 days ago #104950

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Hi all,

Given the COVID-19 issues, I've been placed in a difficult situation and wondering if I could get some advice.

My child lives with her mum and we have an agreement in terms of when I see my child. The mother called me on Monday to say that she has symptoms of COVID-19 and sounded sick, she also said our child wasn't well too. I asked her to call 111 to seek advice and let me know. I have a pregnant partner and we've also not caught the virus and besides that I needed to know if my child or her mother had COVID-19.

The next day, my childs mother called me and told me that she had been told to self-isolate - this was on Tuesday (this week). She hadn't been tested but had the symptoms so its hard to say if she or anybody in her household including our child has had COVID-19.

Following the Governments advice, self-isolation should occur for 14 days. This means that I wouldn't have my child this coming weekend. However the problem I have now is that the mother has contacted me to tell me that everything is fine now and that I should have our child this weekend.

I obviously want to have my child as normal but my concern is that IF any of them have been sick due to COVID-19, having my daughter before the 2 week window could mean that everybody in my household could contract it.

I'm in a difficult situation because I want my child but don't think it is worth the risk and I think my childs mother is being rather irresponsible in playing it down to it just being a common cold.

Common-sense tells me to tell my child's mother that I will not be having our child until the 14 day window has passed. This is obviously a very new situation and I'm sure that I'm not the only one in this position. This could disrupt the piece but I wanted to see what the community thought about this.

Thanks.

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104953

hi,

yes this is a dilemma. you should be grateful that your ex partner is being genuine about it. you could tell her that you are very concerned and want to follow the government advice, and so you should not be seeing your child this coming weekend. probably better not to mention your new partner being pregnant.

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104957

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I've expressed my concerns but she thinks 7 days is fine as oppose to the recommended 14 days.

Oh we are way pass the new partner stage, that was some time back now.

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104959

unless your child had a continuous cough and a temperature then you should have child/children as normal. Maybe you could ask your ex what all the symptoms were they experienced . there are a lot of cold and flus going about as well which can lead to confusion. If your ex is happy to wait 14 days without there been any issues then maybe forfeit your weekend if u feel ill at ease about it all

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104960

Hello wizkid,

My Son is with great reluctance forfeiting his weekend with his children.

He has anguished over his decision but after careful consideration of the situation and the health issues involved with some family members whom it would be impossible to avoid, he has decided to adhere to government guidelines as being the most responsible course of action to take for every ones sake.

What the repercussions will be with the mother remain to be seen as she has no commonsense, will never communicate amicably and is totally beyond understanding reason.

I hope the judiciary are fully aware of the complications and heartache it presents for fathers who desperately want to maintain contact with their children but because of Covid 19 are having difficulties in doing so!

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104962

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Hi,

Personally, I would continue to follow government guidelines which means missing contact for the 1 weekend (if you see your child every other weekend). However my view may be bias as I am a partner of a father and not the father refusing to see their child.

I just don't see the point of risking it, for your well being and for your partner esp being pregnant. Maybe substituting the contact for video calls etc would be in the best interest of everyone given the circumstances?
With your partner being pregnant, I wouldn't risk the child being a potential carrier with little/mild symptoms they have had as it is almost impossible to say whether it was a common flu or mild symptoms of COVID 19 and I think missing one contact in the grand scheme of things is minor (given that contact goes back to normal after the 14 days have passed).

How far along is your partner? I wouldn't risk it regardless but if your partner is entering or in their third trimester they are even more at risk than being in the first and second trimester. Does the mother know your partner is pregnant?

Good luck! It definitely is a difficult situation but with whatever you decide to do it should be understandable.

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104968

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Yes, I am still in contact with her on the phone and video calls etc so that isn't an issue.

My partner is in her third trimester with only about 7 weeks to go, so this time is critical.

Yes, my child's mother knows that she is pregnant but she seems to not want to heed the Government advice.

I think the most common-sense thing to do is to stick to saying no with the concerns clearly highlighted, and come to an agreement of when to make up the time missed after the 14 days has passed.

Thanks all.

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104969

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warwickshire1 wrote: unless your child had a continuous cough and a temperature then you should have child/children as normal. Maybe you could ask your ex what all the symptoms were they experienced . there are a lot of cold and flus going about as well which can lead to confusion. If your ex is happy to wait 14 days without there been any issues then maybe forfeit your weekend if u feel ill at ease about it all


I disagree with what you are saying and solely on the basis of the Governments message here and I quote:

"if you live with others and you are the first in the household to have symptoms of coronavirus, then you must stay at home for 7 days, but all other household members who remain well must stay at home and not leave the house for 14 days. The 14-day period starts from the day when the first person in the house became ill."


www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid...s-covid-19-infection

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104971

if i was in this situation i would not take the kids if they have been unwell recently. mainly because i live with mum who is very elderly and has all sorts of medical conditions. its a good thing that an ex is open to let the kids go to their dads in this situation anyway.

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104982

I am well aware of whats been quoted by government. you asked for advice and then disagree with it. you asked for advice up to you what you do about it. Unfortunately most people on here that claim their ex partner and child have corona virus simply havent and is done out of malice. if your contact is constantly messed about by ex and she cant tell you exactly what the symptons are its probably not true especially when she says shes fine the next day.
The virus has nowhere peaked yet so what happens if she really did get it. this isnt time for people to make up in most cases jackanoory stories to withold contact..

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104983

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warwickshire1 wrote: I am well aware of whats been quoted by government. you asked for advice and then disagree with it. you asked for advice up to you what you do about it. Unfortunately most people on here that claim their ex partner and child have corona virus simply havent and is done out of malice. if your contact is constantly messed about by ex and she cant tell you exactly what the symptons are its probably not true especially when she says shes fine the next day.
The virus has nowhere peaked yet so what happens if she really did get it. this isnt time for people to make up in most cases jackanoory stories to withold contact..


And its ok for me to disagree with your advice!

I do agree however, that she shouldn't be playing it down a few days later and I think the fact that they've both shown symptoms but not been tested, makes it a difficult one to call when she says that they are fine.

I don't believe she would play about with contact as I have a court order in place so she has less chance of doing that. I think what has happened is they've got better and she doesn't want to take note of the Government advice and by playing it down she thinks I will be ok with that.

I did decide to stick to common-sense and refuse to take the risk until the 14 days have surpassed. I am hopeful that the mother has come around to this now but I will see in the coming days.

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Self-Isolation Issue 2 weeks 4 days ago #104984

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MotherofaFather wrote: Hello wizkid,

My Son is with great reluctance forfeiting his weekend with his children.

He has anguished over his decision but after careful consideration of the situation and the health issues involved with some family members whom it would be impossible to avoid, he has decided to adhere to government guidelines as being the most responsible course of action to take for every ones sake.

What the repercussions will be with the mother remain to be seen as she has no commonsense, will never communicate amicably and is totally beyond understanding reason.

I hope the judiciary are fully aware of the complications and heartache it presents for fathers who desperately want to maintain contact with their children but because of Covid 19 are having difficulties in doing so!



Thanks for sharing and I hope that it works out for your Son.

Unfortunately for some of us, this COVID-19 throws a spanner in the works.

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